Pareidolia Book Blog

Crappiest Books of 2011

2011-12-30T04:35:00.002-06:00

Only a Bottom 5, given the few books I made it through this year.

It's not really fair to have #3-5 in this list, given that they're not sucky books--and especially not in the league of suck that #1-2 occupy. They're just not as good as those in the Top 5. If I'd managed to read more in 2011 these three would have been middle of the road.

5. Pronto.

4. Castle of Deception.

3. The Chaos Gate.

2. I, Jedi. Well-deserved second-suckiest. I still hate to do it, since Stackpole's a good guy, but I can't cut this book any slack.

1. Darksaber. I can't bag on this one enough. I still want to have it mounted in a block of acrylic, opened to the suckiest part, but that might mean having to read this hideous construction again.

Top Books of 2011

2011-12-30T04:07:00.003-06:00

It's been a rough year again as far as reading goes. I've been too tired to read much of the time.

It took me close to two months to read "Buckaroo Banzai"--and only part of that is because the book drags somewhat.

I made it through 22 books this year; last year it was 36. Compare that to somewhere just under 100 in 2009.

Twenty-two books is a lot of down-time--a lot of sleeping, actually. Once I'm done here, I'm headed for bed again.

I don't really have enough for a Top 10, though, so here's the Top 5 for 2011:

5. Jaws. Actually, I'm still in the middle of this book, but it could be several more weeks before I'm done, at this rate.

4. Zahn's Thrawn Star Wars trilogy. They're still as good as the first time I read them in the early '90s. I wish the other SW books were as good. Too many of them suck.

3. Getting Great Guitar Sounds, because of a simple phrase near the end: "If you make a mistake, make it like you mean it." I took this to apply to all playing--Play it like you mean it. It helped me to stop worrying so much about sounding like the recording I'm playing along with and just have fun.

2. Maximum Bob. The title alone makes it worth reading.

1. Dresden #13: Ghost Story. Dammit, Jim, now I have to wait till mid-2012 for the next one!

Jaws (Benchley, Peter)

2011-12-30T03:17:00.002-06:00

Rating: 5/5
Year: 1974
Genre: Horror
Read again? Yes.

Summer is only days away; Amity's 1,000 permanent residents will soon be joined by 9,000 summer visitors.

When Christine Watkins' mangled remains wash up on the beach where tourists might see, Amity's politicians step up and bravely order police chief Martin Brody to keep his mouth shut. The beaches will stay open, the paper will stay silent.

There were no witnesses.

A few quiet days pass, and within hours of each other a 6-year-old boy and a 65-year-old man are killed.

This time, there are witnesses.

Brody gets the beaches closed, but now (as he expected) he looks like the bad guy. Those politicians wouldn't dirty their hands with responsibility.

A shark expert from Woods Hole--Matt Hooper--thinks the killer is a Great White shark.

Now July 4th--the big weekend that could make or break Amity--is less than two weeks away. People are canceling their leases or just walking away from them. The Mayor's freaking out (he's one of the major real estate owners in town) more over the financial losses than over the killings.

Brody's wife Ellen has a shagfest with Hooper; we're treated to all of her rationalizations for this (lonely, bored, unhappy, etc.), but I wasn't sympathetic to her plight. Perhaps it's mostly there to heighten tension between Chief Brody and the shark expert later in the book, but it really made me dislike her.

Otherwise, Benchley tells a good story and moves it along. Characterization is reasonably good and there's only the amount of exposition that the reader needs.

Buckaroo Banzai (Rauch, Earl Mac)

2011-12-30T02:53:00.003-06:00

Rating: 4/5
Year: 1984
Genre: Sci-Fi/Adventure
Read again? In another 10 years

Adventurer, neurosurgeon, rock star, physicist, engineer, and all-around genius Buckaroo Banzai races his Jet Car through a mile-wide mountain and into the 8th Dimension!

But first, Buckaroo had to attend to a bit of tricky neurosurgery.

Meanwhile, Emilio Lazardo, aka John Whorfin, a Red Lectroid from Planet Ten!--plans his escape from a mental institution and schemes to steal Buckaroo's Oscillation Overthruster, the amazing device that allowed Buckaroo to cross the Dimensional barrier--and which will let Whorfin return home to Planet 10!

John Whorfin has a sort-of team of people--all Red Lectroids in disguise: John Bigboote and John O'Connor are running Yoyodyne, an aerospace company front that's suposed to be building their way back to Planet 10. But Bigboote and O'Connor seem to enjoy the human life too much.

Buckaroo Banzai has a team of people--a small army, actually, but his inner circle and rock band are known as the Hong Kong Cavaliers. It's up to all of them to save the world.

But first, they'll celebrate breaking the Dimensional barrier by playing a gig.

Save the world? Yes. Those Red Lectroids are bad guys banished from Planet 10. The good guys, who call themselves Adders, have threatened to blow up the Earth if Buckaroo can't stop the Lectroids.

The book is narrated by Reno, one of the Honk Kong Cavaliers and Buckaroo's official chronicler. Reno's got an entertaining heroic/cowboyish style that could be distracting or annoying if it weren't so tongue-in-cheek. There's a real-world feel to the narrative, thanks to Reno's footnotes and references to a backlog of Buckaroo Banzai adventures. Maybe a little long-winded. The book does drag in places, just enough that I zapped a point.

Bard's Tale 2--The Chaos Gate (Sherman, Josepha)

2011-12-30T02:35:00.004-06:00

Rating: 4/5
Year: 1994
Genre: Fantasy
Read again? Maybe

It's been four years since the end of Castle of Deception. The boy-hero of that book, Kevin, is a Count and a full Bard, now. Has his own castle and everything.

But he's bored. There's no adventure in the day-to-day affairs of running a castle and tending to the needs of his people and the Kingdom.

Then his friend the Dark Elf Naitachal--now a full Bard himself--comes to visit. When an envoy from a neighboring Count brings a portrait of his daughter and a marriage offer, Kevin makes a snap decision to sneak out to see her for himself, disguised as a lowly minstrel. Naitachal tags along in hopes of amusement.

Of course things don't go well; Kevin's would-be lady-love is sharp-tongued and argumentative and clearly uninterested in marriage. When he reveals his true identity, all hell breaks loose!

Naitachal is very amused.

Meanwhile, at the enclave of evil Dark Elves, the Boss Elf is stewing and scheming, evilly wanting revenge against Naitachal for turning away from the Dark Side. His evil consort hatches a spell designed to ensnare Naitachal....

A bit too melodramatic and long-winded. Pacing could have been tightened up quite a bit. Characterization could have been better; the Dark Elves are oh-so evil and two-dimensionally bland.

Pronto (Leonard, Elmore)

2011-12-30T02:03:00.006-06:00

Rating: 4/5
Year: 1993
Genre: Crime
Read again? Yes

This is the first of two stories about Deputy US Marshall Raylan Givens; they cover the events that led to Givens being "exiled" to Kentucky in the TV series "Justified."

Raylan is assigned to protect Harry Arno, a Miami bookie and witness against small-time Mobster Jimmy Cap. Harry finds out he's been screwed by the Feds: they faked a call from an angry bettor who hasn't been paid off, making it look as though Harry skimmed several thousand bucks.

As it turns out, Harry been skimming, all right--a few million bucks over four decades. The Feds' screwing blows things up just as he's about to "retire" and run off to Italy.

He gives Raylan the slip, but the Marshall has dealt with Harry before and easily finds the Bookie in a little town.

The Mob doesn't have much trouble tracking Harry, either....

Leonard doesn't waste the reader's time in extra syllables or meandering prose, but "Pronto" doesn't move as quickly as "Maximum Bob," the only other Elmore I've read. It still has the "ordinary people" feel of "Bob" and of "Justified," but I still felt the need to take a point for the pacing.

Maximum Bob (Leonard, Elmore)

2011-11-30T19:02:00.002-06:00

Rating: 5/5
Year: 1991
Genre: Crime
Read again? Yes

Kathy Baker is a parole officer. One of her "projects" is a kid named Dale Crowe, 2 days out of prison for hitting a cop. He broke parole in a drunken bar fight.

Maximum Bob Gibbs is the Palm Beach County judge presiding over Dale Crowe's fighting case. Bob ignores the underage drinking and the fight altogether, focusing on the kid's prior cop-hitting instead.

He's not called "Maximum" Bob for nothing. He likes making examples of people--and since the Crowe family are a bunch of habitual offenders, he decides to send the kid back to prison on a longer sentence.

Bob's also a lecherous 57-year-old. He quickly notices Kathy Baker and starts trying to put some moves on her. Of course he's married, but his wife's a crystal-gazing, aura-reading New Ager who's gained a little extra weight. She's also slightly crazy: she believes she can channel the spirit of a long-dead 12-year-old black girl.

Bob's tired of married life and really wants the house clear so he can lure that attractive young parole officer. He pays a man to drop a dead gator in the back yard, hoping to scare her away.

Gator's not quite dead. Eats her dog. The cops get involved, and they're thinking someone's trying to kill old Bob.

Meanwhile, Dale Crowe's uncle has been offered $10,000 to kill Maximum Bob.

Leonard's writing is tight! He metes out bits of exposition as needed, but keeps it on the fly. He doesn't pause to hold your hand or tell in-depth back stories.

Each character carries a piece of the puzzle. They all stand out and they're all interesting and believable. It's clear that we're not following heroic, important people here, just regulars--some on the take, some on the make, some just wanting the work day to end, thinking of that cold beer at home. We know their motivations: lust in the old judge, revenge in the ex-con, the parole officer who's afraid to say "no" to the judge who could easily wreck her career, the cops who know something hinky is going on.

Leonard's style is clean, free of wasted words or wasted time. He takes you from A to B, gives hints about C along the way, builds things a little more, and you're expected to keep up. He won't hold your hand.

This is how writing ought to be! Make every word count. After reading a couple of really bad Star Wars books and one Lackey book, this was an unexpected pleasure.

Dresden Files 13: Ghost Story (Butcher, Jim)

2011-11-30T15:17:00.003-06:00

Rating: 5/5
Year: 2011
Genre: Fantasy
Read again? Yes

I haven't eagerly anticipated a new book this way since the early '90s, when Roger Zelazny was writing new "Amber" books. It's been about 15 months since I finished the 12th Dresden book (note: that'd be in May of 2010, then late September 2011 for "Ghost Story"--posting the reviews hasn't been on my radar for a few months, unfortunately).

Harry Dresden is dead.

He was taken out by a sniper at the end of "Changes." How the hell do you follow that?

Dresden finds himself in a ghostly shadow of Chicago. He's escorted to the police station, where the ghost of Karrin Murphy's father outlines a mission: Dresden has to figure out who killed him or three of his closest friends will be next.

At first, he can't use magic or interact with the real world, but he quickly learns that his friends have been busy in the 6 months since his death. Things have worsened in the city: just his presence and the threat he represented to the Bad Guys was enough to keep most of them in check. With the effective destruction of the Red Court vampires at the end of "Changes," other ghosts, goblins, ghouls, and gangs have moved in to take over. The White Council of wizards is swamped, so they can't spare a Warden for Chicago.

Murphy, Butters, Bob the Skull, and other friends of Harry's have strengthened the ParaNet, and that's doing some good.

There's one threat on the streets that has all of Dresden's friends terrified, though. His apprentice went insane when he died. She's gone off on her own to fight evil things alone.

There has to be a point where Dresden meets his friends; they've dealt with his death to varying degrees, but Murphy isn't convinced he's dead. The scene where she's faced with his ghost is powerful.

Harry figures out pretty quickly who the shooter was, but the more important question is why it happened.

Then there's the bigger issue of saving the world from an enemy he's already faced once before.

Very good story; I devoured it. I liked the "It's a Wonderful Life" aspect of it, seeing how the world changed for the worse without Dresden in it. The plot moves nicely, the main characters continue to develop, and now I have to wait several more months for the next book.

Bard's Tale 1--Castle of Deception (Lackey, Mercedes & Sherman, Josepha)

2011-11-30T14:32:00.004-06:00

Rating: 4/5
Year: 1992
Genre: Fantasy
Read again? Maybe.

It says something about Anderson's "Darksaber" that I willingly picked up a Mercedes Lackey book back in July--for the first time in nearly 2 years. I haven't read a "Valdemar" book since October of 2009. Never did finish the series. Stopped at number 20. Staying right there.

"The Bard's Tale" series is much shorter (I've got 4) and thinner (smaller books are good) and not "Star Wars." The stories are based around 1985's Electronic Arts computer role playing game.

Kevin is apprenticed to an elderly Bard. The boy wants adventure! Nothing happens in their tiny village.

His Master sends him off on a mission. It's not much--just copying an rare old musical manuscript at Count Volmar's castle.

He quickly finds himself out of his element, a nobody among boys his age. He applies himself to his work to fill the time.

Then he meets the Count's niece, a vision with big blue eyes and golden curls, the first girl to ever pay attention to him.

Not so much. She's actually an evil fairy trying to foil Kevin's mission. When her ever-stronger advances and enchantments can't get the answers she's after, she and the Count stage a "kidnapping" of his "niece" and send Kevin off to look for her. With the boy out of the way, they can go through the library book by book until they find the one he was copying.

Too bad for them that only a Bard can see it!

Kevin's joined by a streetwise woman warrior, a wise-ass fairy, a White Elf...and a Dark Elf with the power of Death and a thirst for music.

Can they find the truth about the missing girl...and save the kingdom?

This is a safe and straightforward "quest" story once it gets rolling. A bit more melodramatic than I'd like, but still solidly done.

The characters could use some fleshing out, but they're serviceable.

There might be a few draggy points, but the story moves at a purposeful pace. I'd like to have gotten into the action a bit more quickly.

Star Wars: Darksaber (Anderson, Kevin J)

2011-07-31T02:07:00.004-05:00

Rating: 1/5
Year: 1995
Genre: Sci-Fi / Star Wars
Read again? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA...no. No.

One Word To Describe It All: Clumsy.

It's been 8 years since the Battle of Endor. Luke Skywalker and Han Solo infiltrate a group of Tusken Raiders so they can sneak out to the palace of Jabba the Hutt, hoping to find some answers.

The Hutts are up to something.

Han & Luke learn that they're trying to build a superweapon.

Luke's also on a personal mission; his girlfriend lost her Force powers.

See, Callista's soul used to be trapped in the computer core of an evil space ship, but one of Luke's students sacrificed her own life to save the galaxy (another book to buy...for someone else) and the soul took over this body and they fell in love and now Luke makes a pit-stop at Ben Kenobi's old home to see if his ghost will give some love advice and maybe help him fix his girlfriend's broken Force powers.

Her Force powers don't work anymore, see. We are reminded of this in pretty much every scene with Luke and/or Callista.

And only by getting her her powers can they complete each other. I mean, they can probably shag or whatever, but that's not the plot. This is a True Love Story!

Meanwhile, across the galaxy, the evil Admiral Daala is working to rebuild the Imperial fleet. She's itching to destroy the New Republic and apparently didn't learn from the last time she tried it. She whips out the Total Galactic Domination plan book and sets her sights on blowing up the Jedi School on Yavin 4.

Did I mention that Luke's girlfriend lost her Jedi powers? Gone. Poof. Well, gone except for the Dark Side.

Meanwhile meanwhile, Jedi Knight and Mass Murderer Kyp Durron thinks the Imperials are up to something and goes to check it out. Happily, he gets into a big pep rally in which the Empire's entire plan is laid out in convenient detail via loudspeaker.

Meanwhile a third time, Durga the Hutt has hired the original Death Star designer and has stolen a set of plans for it. All he wants is the superlaser, not a big moon-shaped thing. He's going to use it to extort money from everyone in the galaxy.

The designer puts together a plan: the weapon's going to be a long cylinder and the freakin' laser beam comes out of one end, just like a lightsaber--hence the name "Darksaber." Get it?

Woof: Luke and his Forceless girlfriend go on a tour of places he's been--Dagobah, Hoth--in hopes of jogging her Force ability (why not go to places she'd find significant?). While they're on Hoth, they're attacked by an army of Wampas...and their "leader" is the same one Luke disarmed in "Empire Strikes Back." It remembers him and wants to settle the score.

Woof: there's a street scene with a vegetarian meat-alien and a meat-cooking plant-alien selling their wares side-by-side and trading dirty looks. There's your comic relief.

Woof: Admiral Ackbar was Grand Moff Tarkin's personal pilot-slave; Tarkin used to amuse himself by describing his tactics and plans for crushing the Rebellion. Ackbar was rescued and used those tactics and plans in battle.

Woof: a prison planet named "Despayre." Sounds like a pretentious Mercedes Lackey villain.

Woof: Luke, to Callista, just before The Big Battle At The End Of The Book:

He smiled gently at her. "All right. I'll protect you with my Jedi powers."

Dialog's melodramatic, comic-bookish, and clumsy. It sounds like something Ed Wood would have put together for a cheesy sci-fi movie.

Characterization is bland, where it isn't just awful.

The book doesn't so much drag as stagger while leading you carefully around like a toddler (remember that Luke's girlfriend lost her Force powers? Well, she lost them). Any "dragging" sensation is from being unable to take the bad dialog, silly plotting, and convenient plot points that duct-tape this book together.

There are some really weird word choices, too--"gunwale" (the upper edge of a boat's hull) in place of "gun emplacement"; "rear engines" where a ship only has engines in the rear (the fighter flew on, its rear engines blazing!!), and a scene where Luke looks into his (Forceless) girlfriend's "open eyes."

This thing reads like the sort of stories I wrote in high school creative writing class. About the only positive thing I can say (aside from being done with it) is that this is the new Worst Book I've Ever Read. I really ought to have it enclosed in a block of acrylic or something.

This is not a "Star Wars" book. This is just crappy sci-fi with "Star Wars" words.

Star Wars: I, Jedi (Stackpole, Michael A)

2011-07-31T01:17:00.004-05:00

Rating: 2/5
Year: 1998
Genre: Sci-Fi / Star Wars
Read again? Nope.

This is the only first-person "Star Wars" book I've seen. It's told by Corran Horn, a fighter pilot with the legendary Rogue Squadron.

Horn's wife vanishes during a mission involving a notorious pirate organization--Horn feels feels her "vanishing" via the Force.

His chain of command won't tell him what they know about her mission, so he tries to go over their heads and straight to President Princess Leia by talking to the First Scoundrel, Han Solo. Solo promises to talk to her.

Horn goes to Luke Skywalker, who invites him to come along to be in the first class of his new Jedi School on Yavin 4 and learn the ways of the Force, because that might help him to find his wife.

Horn goes on a 10-week Jedi training course. His wife's gone missing, but he's apparently really cool about it now, so 10 weeks is nothing.

The ghost of an evil Dark Jedi inhabits one of the nearby temples. It possesses one student after another, killing one, putting Luke Skywalker into a coma, and sending another student off on a mission to blow up a star system or two.

Horn and the students cook up a trap...and the bad guy's suddenly gone--but we never see the trap or have a description of that part of things. We're basically told "It's done."

Apparently this is covered in one of the other books and we have to buy 'em all to find out.

That last student returns from blowing stuff up and killing billions of people and is welcomed back into the fold!

What? He's a mass-murderer? Oh, that's okay, he's gonna be a Jedi!!

Oh yeah--when President Princess Leia is notified that her twin brother has been knocked on his ass by an evil ghost and is lying in a coma, she is TOO BUSY to drop her job and come running.

Apparently there's no Family Leave Act in the New Republic.

She finally shows up after, oh, a week.

So the Jedi ghost is kacked, Luke is going to be okay, and it's been 10 freaking weeks since Horn started his training.

He gets a sudden sense of urgency, now that half the goddamn book has gone by without any real plot movement. Seriously--by this point, it felt like I'd been reading for 10 weeks.

So now Horn leaves, hitching a ride with his smuggler pop-in-law, then goes off to Corellia to see his grandfather, then goes undercover for several MORE MONTHS to infiltrate the bad guys....

This book and its protagonist aren't in a hurry; there's never much of a sense of danger, no suspense (he remembers that his wife's missing, but she'll still be missing a few months from now, so it's no big rush), and Stackpole's portrayal of Corran Horn is damn near Mary Sue material.

Wordy. Not in Mercedes Lackey's chatterbox/prissy manner or Brian Daley's raid-the-thesaurus-for-obscure-words or Alan Dean Foster's paid-by-the-syllables styles. Stackpole could easily lose a good bit of padding and tighten the book up a good bit, both in narrative and dialog. Better word choice would make a big difference.

Draggy. The story doesn't go very far very quickly. There aren't any big surprises or twists and when the plot's moving it's in a straight line.

Characterization is weak; none of the Big Name characters--Han Solo, Luke Skywalker--sound anything like themselves. Han comes across like a professor, a bit too formal even when claiming that formality's never been his strong suit. The supporting characters are cardboard cutouts, flat and uninteresting.

Dialog is very comic-bookish...and there's the Industry Standard "spacified" lexicon: Timothy Zahn's "slicer" (instead of "hacker"), "slipped your circuits" instead of "slipped your mind"; and "Nerf and Gumes" for "Pork and Beans," among others.

Stackpole's a good guy and it bugs me to bag on this book so heavily, but I've got to be honest. Give this one a miss.

Star Wars: Hand of Thrawn 02--Vision of the Future (Zahn, Timothy)

2011-07-31T01:00:00.003-05:00

Rating: 4
Year: 1998
Genre: Sci-Fi / Star Wars
Read again? Yes

The Caamas situation boils over; the New Republic's weak central government can't keep old feuds from erupting among its members--and can't interfere if there's fighting unless asked to intercede.

Star systems begin petitioning the Empire for readmission, looking to its strength and security to protect them from their neighbors.

The principals split up into teams, each looking for the original Caamas document that would reveal the names of the Bothans who (unwittingly? wittingly?) participated in the slaughter of the planet 20 years ago.

Han Solo and Lando Calrissian go to Bastion, the tightly-defended capitol of the Empire.

Talon Karrde--smuggler, scoundrel, information broker--follows rumors to his old boss, who might have a copy of the Caamas document.

Luke Skywalker finds his way to the world where Mara Jade tracked one of the mystery ships that have been sighted around the galaxy. He finds her and an outpost somehow linked to Grand Admiral Thrawn.

Good second half to the story, but there's that euphemizing of common terms yet again--more skyarches, more avians, and "push comes to shove" becomes "nudge comes to punch." Yet other common words such as ship remain untouched. Since 99% of the whatever language is "translated" for us, why do we need "avians" instead of birds? There are no computer hackers, either--they're called "slicers," which loses some of the flavor of the original word.

At least he doesn't use Brian Daley's "howlrunner"--but there weren't any Space Wolves in the book.

Star Wars: Hand of Thrawn 01--Spectre of the Past (Zahn, Timothy)

2011-07-31T00:01:00.002-05:00

Rating: 4/5
Year: 1997
Genre: Sci-Fi / Star Wars
Read again? Yes

It's been 10 years since the events of the Thrawn trilogy, about 15 since "Return of the Jedi."

The New Republic is still mopping up from the various crises that pop up every time someone writes another "Star Wars" book. The Imperial Remnant is still causing trouble, even at vastly reduced strength and reach.

Princess Leia is President, but taking a leave of absence to spend time with the family. Acting President Space Horse has everything firmly in hoof.

Admiral Pellaeon is in charge of the Imperial Remnant's military; it's grown obvious to him that the Empire's boundaries are shrinking, its power fading, and he's making the rounds to various government leaders to discuss declaring a truce with the New Republic.

One of the men he meets with--Moff Disra--has his own agenda; he's working with a former Imperial Guardsman and a con man who impersonates the long-dead Grand Admiral Thrawn. The three of them devise a scheme intended to lure worlds back into the Empire. Before long, there are rumors--some hopeful, some fearful--spreading across the galaxy that Thrawn is very much alive and is embarking on a new mission to destroy the New Republic.

Disra is also in under-the-table business with a pirate band working as privateers, hitting Republic shipping on behalf of the Empire. There's a lot of money to be made--and business is good.

The story's Big Controversy centers on the Empire's crushing of Caamas; a document has surfaced linking a small number of Bothans to the genocide. Before long, the New Republic is brought to a near-standstill as its people break into factions, with some demanding justice for the genocide and looking to punish all Bothans for it, others taking up the Bothans' defense and insisting that the actual criminals be brought to trial. President Space Horse is hock-deep in trying to hold things together. It's up to Leia, Han Solo and Lando Calrissian to find the truth about the Caamas document.

Meanwhile, mysterious small ships have been seen in various places around the galaxy. Luke Skywalker's old ex-enemy/sometimes Jedi student Mara Jade goes off after one of them and disappears. Luke--guided by a vision from the Force--goes to find her....

Only two books in this story arc; Zahn turns in another tightly-written, well-paced book with good characterization and several plotlines to keep us wondering what'll happen next.

The only annoyance is the same one I've had with Brian Daley's "Star Wars" books, where common words aren't spacey enough. In place of bridges, we have sky-arches; birds are "avians," spies indulge in "cloak-and-blade" behavior. Bleah. Gonna take a point off for it this time, since Zahn does it more in this pair of books than in the previous trilogy.

Star Wars: Thrawn 03: The Last Command (Zahn, Timothy)

2011-07-17T16:48:00.003-05:00

Rating: 4
Year: 1993
Genre: Sci-Fi/Star Wars
Read again? Yes

Thrawn's been busy. After sneaking most of the Dark Force fleet and crewing the ships with newly-minted clones, he sets his troops to start taking star systems back from the New Republic. He makes a swift strike against the capital itself, launching cloaked asteroids into orbit around the planet.

A mission is put together to steal a piece of equipment that could locate those asteroids--but it's safely protected at the Empire's Bilbringi shipyard.

The only way to stop the flow of clones is to find their source and destroy the facility; it's up to Luke, Han, Lando, Chewbacca, and Mara Jade to find the mysterious planet Wayland....

Meanwhile, the insane Jedi clone C'Baoth suddenly decides to go to Wayland himself, where he's devised a special clone to deal with Skywalker.

The only real problem I have with this book is the identity of that special clone (spoiler!) and how he came to be. Otherwise, it's a good read.

Star Wars: Thrawn 02--Dark Force Rising (Zahn, Timothy)

2011-07-17T16:19:00.003-05:00

Rating: 4
Year: 1992
Genre: Sci-Fi/Star Wars
Read again? Yes

I pretty much had to have this one once I finished the first book in Timothy Zahn's Thrawn trilogy (Heir to the Empire). I just wish there were more good writers behind the stacks of "Star Wars" novels that followed.

"Dark Force" follows directly on the heels of the first book.

Leia, Chewbacca, and C-3PO travel to Honoghr, the homeworld of Thrawn's pet assassins. Leia is hoping to make peace with the Noghri.

Luke Skywalker flies out to Jomark, following rumors of a powerful Jedi master living there, not realizing that Thrawn is behind the rumors or that the Jedi is an insane clone. Luke's hoping for guidance in teaching a new generation of Jedi Knights. C'Baoth is only interested in turning him into a puppet.

Han Solo and Lando Calrissian follow leads on the mythical Dark Force, a lost fleet of Dreadnoughts. The New Republic needs ships--and Thrawn's Imperial Remnant wants them, too. Han and Lando find former Senator Garm Bel Iblis, instead; they also find some clues that he knows more about the Dark Fleet than he lets on....

Where Thrawn is a seemingly omniscient Moriarty character in the first book, in "Dark Force" he comes off as a bumbling idiot, now, managing to draw exactly the correct wrong conclusions needed to move the plot along in favor of the Good Guys. It's a disappointing turn.

As with the first book I liked the characterization, plotting, and pacing.

Pocket Ref (Glover, Thomas J)

2011-06-20T14:22:00.004-05:00

Rating: 5
Year: 1989/20006 (3rd Ed.)
Genre: Technical
Read again? all the time.

Maybe it's a little too big for a pocket, but this hefty little book is incredibly useful.

Do you need to know the hand signals for guiding a crane or hoist operator? Page 105.

Wiring diagrams for common trailer wiring harnesses? Page 41.

Perpetual calendar? Page 737.

Airport 3-letter codes? 290.

...for Frankfurt, Germany? 301.

If you look on page 384, you'll note that rabbit skin glue can be used for bonding wood but is mainly used in gilding, artwork and furniture repair.

Page 537 starts a section on knots.

This little book seemingly has it all--mathematical formulae, physics and chemistry, masonry, military ranks, automotive, carpentry & construction, first aid, surveying and mapping, tools, weather, welding, and conversion tables packed into nearly 800 pages.

Getting Great Guitar Sounds (Ross, Michael)

2011-06-20T10:39:00.002-05:00

Rating: 5
Year: 1988/1998
Genre: Music/Technical
Read again? Yup.

One thing a serious musician will spend endless hours and wallet-loads of cash on is getting good tone, whether it's from a guitar or a trumpet. It starts with an instrument that will play in tune--and stay that way. It needs to be comfortable, too--if you're fighting the thing, you're not going to play it well.

Michael Ross starts us out with the instrument itself. The sound you get from an electric guitar depends on more than just plugging it into an amp. The big factor is wood. What's it made from (alder? Ash? Maple?) ? How is the neck attached (bolted on? Glued on? Neck-through-body?)? What's the neck material (maple is typical)? Is it a hollow-body? Solid? Semi-hollow?

From there, you get into string size, scale length, and hardware, all of which contribute to how the guitar itself sounds both before it's plugged in and to the overall sound. Then you've got pickups and controls, on-board electronics...

Lots of choices, there; to the non-musician they might all sound the same. But to a tone junkie, there's a huge difference between the sounds of classic Van Halen, Angus Young, Alex Lifeson, Joe Satriani, Billy Gibbons, Eric Clapton, Stevie Ray Vaughan, Keith Richards, and James Hetfield. Each has a distinctive sound that begins with his guitar.

Ross doesn't overdo it; he keeps his descriptions clear and non-technical, discussing how each component will affect the overall sound of a guitar.

That's just Chapter One.

With the second, Ross guides us through pickup choices (single-coil, humbucker, active) and location (bridge, neck, middle), wiring, controls (active, passive), and then finally to amplifiers. The amp itself will affect your sound--it doesn't just make the guitar louder, it colors the tone depending on how you play through it.

In Part Two, Ross discusses effects pedals, the tools a guitarist can use to further affect his tone: compression, distortion, preamps, delay, reverb, chorus, flange, and pitch shifters, all available as stand-alone "stomp boxes" or in all-in-one multieffects units.

Part Three sees us putting all this stuff to work; many of the effects sound better when they're arranged in a certain order, but there will be songs when you want a clean sound, your guitar's natural voice, without all the extra trimmings. From here, he looks at "live" vs. "studio" sound and the give and take of using vintage instruments, amps and effects.

His final note is about musicianship: none of these things matters if you don't have the chops. Alex Lifeson will sound like Alex Lifeson no matter what guitar/amp/effects he's using--the instrument's tone is important, but not nearly as important as what Lifeson does with it. The single most important part of your sound is...you.

Ross' advice:
--Play with authority. Play each note like you mean it--even if you screw up. Screw up like you mean it.
--Make your sound and playing fit the song! If you're going to play like Stevie Ray Vaughan, you have to lay into it with both hands. Stevie played hard, till his fingers were bleeding--and he meant it. But you can't play like that if you're supposed to be subtle and romantic.
--Listen. Pay attention to your favorites and try to figure out how they got that sound.

The closer is a rundown of some guitar greats and how they got their sounds: Jeff Beck, Clapton, Van Halen, Hendrix, David Gilmour, Andy Summers, The Edge, and Kurt Cobain, to name a few.

The book is a little more than 70 pages and sized to match standard music books. Pics are in black and white. Ross discusses various brands without pushing any of them in a sales pitch, making it clear that the thing that matters in any of this is that you pick what you like to get the sound you want.

Star Wars: Thrawn 01--Heir to the Empire (Zahn, Timothy)

2011-06-12T17:05:00.004-05:00

Rating: 5
Year: 1991
Genre: Sci-Fi / Star Wars
Read again? Yes

I started on this book in late April; it's hard to concentrate on a novel when you're exhausted from kidney surgery, so it's no fault of Zahn's.

This was the first Star Wars novel I found in the years after "Return of the Jedi." I devoured it in a matter of hours, all 400-plus pages, and immediately wanted the next book in the trilogy. That one was only out in hardcover, but I gladly snapped it up and devoured it as well.

It's been 5 years since the Rebel victory against the Galactic Empire at the Battle of Endor. The second Death Star is gone, the Emperor and Darth Vader are dead. The remnants of the Empire still hold onto parts of the galaxy, but until recently they've been without a leader.

Grand Admiral Thrawn was a rarity in the Empire: he's not human. This blue-skinned man with glowing red eyes was one of the Emperor's master strategists. Now he's providing the leadership--and victories--the Imperial Remnant badly needs. Thrawn intends to bring down the New Republic and bring the Empire back to its former glory.

Meanwhile, the New Republic has established Coruscant as its capital planet, as it was for the Old Republic...and for the Empire. Luke Skywalker hasn't been able to sense any disturbances in the Force that would point to this being a bad decision, but he's uneasy.

Han Solo and Leia Organa are married; she's pregnant with twins. While her husband is out in the galaxy trying to scare up some of his old smuggling contacts with the offer of honest shipping jobs, Leia is up to her shoulders keeping the New Republic's government going.

Thrawn leads several lightning raids against minor Republic assets, forcing their overtaxed fleet to spread itself thinner and thinner and leading us to wonder why he needs stolen mining equipment and a deranged Dark Jedi. I won't spoil it, because it's pretty damn creative.

Unlike Alan Dean Foster and Brian Daley, Zahn's not giving us a crappy science fiction novel that uses Star Wars words. He's got a feel for the people that was sorely lacking in any of the movie novelizations or the early spinoffs by Daley and Foster. One nice touch is that the main characters--Luke Skywalker, Han Solo, Princess Leia, Chewbacca, and Lando Calrissian--all have history with each other. Zahn uses this for inside jokes and tag-lines, as in one scene with Han, Leia and Luke:

"Yeah, as it happens, I do," Han said, his voice hardening. "I also have a pretty good idea what could happen if our late pals with the stokhli sticks brought friends with them."

For a long minute Leia stared at him, and Luke sensed the momentary anger fading from her mind. "You still shouldn't have left without consulting me first," she said.

"You're right," Han conceded. "But I didn't want to take the time. If they did have friends, those friends probably had a ship." He tried a tentative smile. "There wasn't time to discuss it in committee."

Leia smiled lopsidedly in return. "I am not a committee," she said wryly.

And with that, the brief storm passed and the tension was gone. Someday, Luke promised himself, he would get around to asking one of them just what that particular private joke of theirs referred to.

I really liked that callback to the argument between Han and Leia from "The Empire Strikes Back." Little moments like this add a lot to the "feel" of the characters.

About the only thing I didn't like is some of the euphemized slang terms that everyone in sci-fi seems to indulge in. Zahn uses "cloak-and-blade" in place of cloak-and-dagger, which isn't as bad as Daley's "howlrunner" in place of "Space Wolf." But given that a ship is a ship, and so many other common items have the same names (or are "translated" for us into English), why not call a dagger a dagger?

Maybe I should drop a point for it, but Zahn has done such a good job that I can cringe but let it pass.

Rush Complete (2 volumes) and Deluxe Anthology

2011-06-01T23:33:00.005-05:00

Rating: 3
Date: 1986
Genre: Music
Read Again? Yes

Gotta say first off, by "Complete" all the author(s) meant was "We did arrangements of all their albums through Power Windows," not "Every song in its completion."

Keep in mind that Rush is a "power trio"--drums, bass, and guitar.

Now consider that the books are arranged for vocal and piano, with chord symbols for guitar. Heh.

There's no TAB, so I was at a big disadvantage when I started learning songs from these books. I can read music notation...very slowly. I suck at it. Fortunately, those chord symbols are there and they helped a lot.

The arrangements themselves are best treated as sketches of the actual songs; they're heavily simplified and edited, with no solos or any of the badassery a Rush fan would be looking for. I knew this when I bought them, though--they're Rush memorabilia--and they were all there was in 1990, as far as I knew. While I learned by ear most of what I can play, I had the books just in case there was a phrase or chord I couldn't quite figure out (assuming it was in one of the books).

Another fun thing to do would be to program each song as written into Cakewalk or a similar music-writing program, just for something to do, and for something to laugh at. I wish I could rate these books higher, but they just don't make the cut, especially when compared to the arrangements in Guitar Magazine or some of the newer music books on today's shelves.

Volume 1:
Rush
Fly By Night
Caress of Steel
2112
A Farewell to Kings
Hemispheres

Volume 2:
Permanent Waves
Moving Pictures
Exit...Stage Left
Signals
Grace Under Pressure
Power Windows

The Deluxe Anthology is just 27 songs culled from the two-volume set. Same arrangements, so the same comments. My copy's pretty heavily annotated, which tells me that I depended more on this book than on the other two.

Rush (Guitar Superstar Series) (Donato, Ray)

2011-06-01T18:15:00.003-05:00

Rating: 4
Year: 1986
Genre: Music
Read again? Yes

I re-named this "Rush for Sissies" on the inside front cover. Donato's arrangements aren't as bad as those in the "Rush Complete" or "Deluxe Anthology" books I'll be reviewing next, but there was a lot of correcting to be done, once I knew enough to know the difference.

The book's arranged specifically for vocal and guitar, with both standard staff and TAB notation. The main thing missing in every song is chord notation. Donato simply notes the generic chord name--"Bb sus 2." It's not a terrible omission, given that you can look at the TAB notation to see which fingering of a B-flat suspended-second chord Alex Lifeson was using for that song.

The actual mistakes aren't glaring, but they irritated me 20 years ago, when I was trying to learn to play like my guitar idol. Things like having the guitar silent when it's not, entire sections of a song omitted (done deliberately, without a good reason) or shortened, solos omitted (but included in other songs?). Knowing how hot-headed I was in 1989 or so, I'd have been pretty pissed off at shelling out $20 I could barely afford only to find that the arrangement for "Tom Sawyer" was as sucky as this one. One thing he does do well and that's keep up with the insane meter-changing of certain songs.

Still, figuring it out by myself and going back to fix Donato's omissions and errors made me learn the songs and made me more confident in my own ability to listen and understand Lifeson's note choices. I wouldn't have gotten that if Donato had been note-for-note accurate, so I'll only take one point off.

The songs:
New World Man
The Spirit of Radio (w/solo)
Jacob's Ladder (solos omitted)
Between the Wheels (solo omitted; has guitar echoing synth; choruses wrong; ending wrong)
Tom Sawyer (solo omitted; main intro riff wrong;)
Free Will (solo omitted)
La Villa Strangiato (solos omitted)
Red Barchetta (intro wrong; solo omitted)
Distant Early Warning (sketchy solo?)

Where the hell have I been?

2011-06-01T17:24:00.004-05:00

I got really tired of Robert Asprin's "Myth" books after the tenth one, but I never bothered to write any of them up after the third one, back in December.

I haven't really read much of anything since then--too tired, too bored. I've been falling asleep at random times of day, sitting up all night, always tired enough that reading just never mattered.

I suppose having a bad kidney and having surgery to remove it might be a good excuse :)

I won't promise much for the time being; I'm reading a novel, but slowly, in between naps and sleeping and whatever I can fit into those waking moments.

Projects for Guitarists (Anderton, Craig)

2011-06-01T17:01:00.004-05:00

Rating: 5
Year: 1995
Genre: Music, Electronics
Read again? Yes

Of my three project books, this is the one I never really cracked open. By the time I got this one, my interest in building my own guitar effects--and my interest in electronics--went on a back shelf in favor of other things.

This isn't a re-packaging of Anderton's "Electronic Projects for Musicians"; he does give some basics in the first couple of chapters, but the 35 projects in this book are all new, many gathered from Anderton's columns in Guitar Player Magazine):

Wall-wart tamer (mini extension cord with switch)
AC adapter hum-buster
Making crossfade & pan-pot pedals
Effects-order switcher
Power/Status indicator monitor
Stereo/Mono breakout box
Buffer Board
"Clarifier" On-board preamp/EQ
Beat the DI blues with IGGY (direct-injection box)
Frequency Booster
Phase switcher
AC power supply/battery eliminator
AC-powered practice amp
Signal switcher
Volume pedal de-scratcher
Cheap & Cheerful (Guitar) tone mods
Humbucking Pickup Tricks
Pots & Pans (pan-pot add-on to guitars)
Telecaster Rewiring
Balanced/Unbalanced Adapter
Direct Injector
Tape Recorder to Echo-unit conversion
Building a Better Bypass
Restoring Vintage Effects
Vintage Effects de-hisser
Adding Presets to Vintage Effects
Go/No-Go Cord Tester
Testing Impedance
LED Level Meter
"Tri-Test" Cord Checker
Designing an on-board (in-guitar) pre-amp
Octave-doubling fuzz
Quadrafuzz
Rocktave Divider
"Stack in a Box" tube preamp

One very helpful section helps you translate between American and International capacitor values (this information would have been useful in Penfold's book).

Well-written, with plenty of drawings and parts lists. There's no "sound page" as with Anderton's other book, but I won't quibble over something like that.

Electronic Projects for Guitar (Penfold, RA)

2011-06-01T16:25:00.002-05:00

Rating: 4
Year: 1992
Genre: Music, Electronics
Read again? Yes

Of the three musical electronics project books, this one was the most difficult to understand, since the author uses British (or European? Metric?) notation on some components. Once I got used to that, though, everything fell into place.

Not that I ever built any of the projects. I got some ideas from Penfold's book, all of them added to a big folder with all my other electronics/music stuff, but nothing ever seemed to get built. I was always working on something else--fixing a car, learning a song, playing along with Rush tapes (NEVER the LP's!), stripping electronic components from broken TV's, radios, or whatever. I've got a sizable collection of resistors, capacitors, and all that...in storage.

Penfold gives us 16 projects after a cursory course in soldering, assembly, and testing:

Guitar preamp
Headphone amp
Soft distortion
Compressor
Auto-Wah (he spells it "Waa")
Wah-wah pedal
Phaser
Dual Tracking effects unit
Expander
Treble booster
Dynamic treble booster
Dynamic tremolo
Direct-injection box
Improved distortion box
Thin distortion unit
Guitar tuner

The schematics, assembly drawings, and parts lists are well-done; the projects are built up on simple breadboard with point-to-point wiring, but since there doesn't seem to be anything critical you could probably get away with the "dead bug" assembly method to make things take up even less space.

Some of the schematic symbols and part numbers didn't match anything I'd seen before, but that was before the Internet and Google, so sourcing most of the active components (transistors, integrated circuits) or equivalents shouldn't be too hard.

Electronic Projects for Musicians (Anderton, Craig)

2011-06-01T15:45:00.005-05:00

Rating: 5
Year: 1975, 1980
Genre: Music, Electronics
Read again? Yes

Around the same time I was learning to play guitar--late '80s, early '90s--I was also into electronics.

I figured it'd be fun to build my own guitar effects and such...but I never built anything. I studied, planned, tinkered with stomp boxes I already had, but to this day I've yet to start or finish any of Anderton's example projects.

It's not him. It's me. Always wanted to say that.

The book's a reasonably comprehensive mini electronics course. In the first four chapters, Anderton introduces various electronic components and where to source them, what sort of tools you'll need, and assembly techniques, enclosures, soldering, testing, and the all-important "smoke test" when the project either catches fire or works like it's supposed to.

Chapter 5 introduces the books' 27 projects, including a simple pre-amp, headphone amp, tone controls, distortion, an 8-input mixer, phaser, talk box (think Joe Walsh or Peter Frampton), and a noise gate...hell, here's the list:

Preamp
Metronome
Passive tone control
Headphone amp
Mini-amp
Ultra-fuzz
Bass fuzz
Compressor/Limiter
Ring Modulator
Dual-filter voicing unit
Adding bypass switches to effects
Guitar rewiring
Bipolar AC adaptor
Treble booster
Electronic footswitch
Tuning standard
Super Tone Control
8-in, 1-out mixer
Using a volt-ohm-millammeter
Practice play-along
Phase shifter
Making patch cords
Talk box
Tube-sound fuzz
Envelope Follower
Spluffer
Noise gate

Chapter 6 discusses different ways of patching the effects together, since your overall sound will be affected by the order in which effects are connected.

As a bonus, my copy of the book came with a flimsy record page with examples of many of the effects in action.

Looking over the list, I can't see me building a Tuning Standard because in the past 20 years small tuners have become cheap and small enough to fit in your guitar case. Most of the rest might bear revisiting, though--I'll need to dig out my big folder full of scribbled notes and schematics. It's always more fun to just look at the stuff, try to figure out how it works.

Overall, the book's well-written and illustrated, with parts lists for each project and plenty of assembly photos. Of the three books like this in my collection, this is the best.

Myth #3: Myth Directions (Asprin, Robert)

2010-12-31T21:49:00.002-06:00

Rating: 5
Year: 1982
Genre: Fantasy/Comedy
Read again? Yes.

Skeeve and Aahz are bored. The weather in Possiltum is rainy and miserable and there's not much for the Court Magician to do.

When Tanda (the hottie assassin chick) pops in looking for a shopping assistant, Aahz reluctantly agrees to let his student go with her. She lets Skeeve in on a secret: they're going to be looking for a birthday present for Aahz!

They visit several dimensions off the beaten path, looking for the Perfect Something Aahz could never have seen, ending up on Jahk, where Tanda spots a hideous Trophy. She tells Skeeve the rest of the secret: they're stealing the Trophy.

The caper ends with the Trophy missing, Tanda arrested for a theft she didn't commit, and Skeeve and Aahz putting together...a sports team?

Myth #2: Myth Conceptions (Asprin, Robert)

2010-12-31T19:33:00.003-06:00

Rating: 5
Year: 1980
Genre: Fantasy/Comedy
Read again? Yes.

Why, yes, every title will be a pun on "Myth!"

It's been about a year since Skeeve and his scaly demonic teacher defeated Isstvan (with a little help from some friends). Now they've been summoned to the Kingdom of Possiltum to try out for the position of Court Magician!

It's not until he wins the position that he learns the reason: Possiltum is about to be invaded by an enormous army. The Kingdom's own army is sitting it out because the guy who handles the king's money has bet that magick can defeat the mighty army, at a considerable savings in both lives and gold.

Now it's up to Skeeve and Aahz to defeat the largest army ever assembled! Can they do it with the help of a dragon, a hot assassin girl, an Imp, an elderly Archer, a stone gargoyle named Gus, and his buddy Berfert the Salamander?

Another short & sweet book, not too deep. I never paid much attention to this approach before, but I appreciate the relative minimalism of Asprin's style. Just the thing after four novels weighing in at 4,000 pages, with a cast of 1,100 characters!

Myth #1: Another Fine Myth (Asprin, Robert)

2010-12-31T18:52:00.003-06:00

Rating: 4
Year: 1978
Genre: Fantasy/Comedy
Read again? Yes.

Yeah, it's another series. I usually take a break from them once I've finished something like the 6-month slog through George R.R. Martin's "A Song of Ice and Fire." But Asprin's "Myth" books are at the opposite end of the spectrum from Martin's: the books average about 200 pages each!

Skeeve ia the apprentice to Garkin, who despairs of his student ever being a magician. Skeeve wants to be a thief and doesn't study as hard as he should.

Then Garkin is killed by an assassin sent by the mad magician Isstvan and Skeeve ends up apprenticed to Aahz, a scaly green pointy-eared pointy-toothed demon!

Can the two of them find Isstvan and stop him before he destroys the world?

Very light reading--both as far as the size of the book and in Asprin's writing. The plot is uncomplicated, with the characters sketched out enough to leave to the reader's imagination. I wish the gags were as funny now as they were 20 years ago, but it's still fun. Besides, I deserve a 2-day book! Rather than still meeting the main characters or just getting to the Big Crisis That Will Change Everything for the main character, we're looking at the inside back cover and ready to grab the next book.

Asprin's intent was to spoof the cerebrally serious Heroic Fantasy genre of the late 1970s. What he ended up doing was creating a genre of comic Fantasy, making way for Craig Shaw Gardner's "Ballad of Wuntvor" series and others.

SIF 04: A Feast for Crows

2010-12-29T09:18:00.002-06:00

Rating: 5
Year: 2005
Genre: Fantasy
Read again? Yes.

The fourth of five wrist-creaking supernovels in 'A Song of Ice and Fire.'

The worst of the fighting has ended, most of the knights expended. Now the realm belongs to the roving bandits and carrion-eaters.

Catelyn and Robb Stark were murdered by the Freys over a broken promise.

Bastard Boy-King Joffrey has died by poison; his uncle Tyrion is blamed for it by the boy's scheming mother Cersei, imprisoned only to be freed by his brother Jaime.

Joffrey's younger brother Tommen takes the throne.

Lord Tywin Lannister is dead at the hand of his son Tyrion, who then escapes to parts unknown.

Sansa Stark is spirited out of the city the night of Joffrey's death.

Arya Stark has made it to Braavos, where she becomes an acolyte of professional assassins.

Jon Snow has returned to command the Night's Watch and defend the Wall against a massive Wildling army only to learn that the Wildlings aren't looking to destroy the realm. They're running from the same cold, implacable enemy who made the Wall necessary to begin with, centuries before: The Others and their icy army of the dead.

Cersei Lannister continues to scheme and manipulate as she rules the realm in her son's name. With her father Tywin out of the way, there's no one to keep her from pursuing her game of thrones. Many thousands of lives have been lost because of this stupid power-hungry woman, but in her eyes other people are there to do her bidding.

Daenerys Targaryen has consolidated her rule by taking a city and settling there. But her eyes are still fixed on the far horizon, Westeros and its Throne.

Despite the long haul--six months for 4 books, thanks to some health issues--this series is beyond worth reading. Martin's characters and plot are vivid through all four books.

SIF 03: A Storm of Swords (Martin, George RR)

2010-12-29T08:33:00.004-06:00

Rating: 5
Year: 2000
Genre: Fantasy
Read again? Yes.

Right now, I'm kind of mad at this 1100-page behemoth. After a week-long hospital stay in July, I was too out of it to be able to read more than a page or two at a time. As I recovered, I found that my will to read this book wasn't improving. It took me just short of 4 months to finish it! I'm used to taking only a couple of weeks at most.

Things just keep getting worse in Westeros. Those major players who are still alive are scattered across the continent.

Joffrey the horrible boy-king is controlled somewhat by his grandfather, Lord Tywin Lannister, who is determined to hold the throne despite growing rumors that the boy's the product of incest. His mother finds her ambitions hampered somewhat by her father's presence.

Robb Stark has married, breaking an oath made to Lord Frey to marry one of his daughters in return for safe passage at the river crossing he controls.

Jon Snow has infiltrated the Wildlings and travels south with them, hoping for the chance to return to the Night's Watch with what he's learned about them.

Arya Stark has been captured, her true identity revealed. Her captors' leader hopes to ransom her back to her mother.

Brandon Stark and his younger brother Rickon are presumed dead after their betrayal by a former friend. The family castle, Winterfell, lies in ruins.

Sansa Stark is no longer married to King Joffrey; she's made to marry his deformed dwarf uncle Tyrion Lannister instead. Through her, the Lannisters hope to take her family's lands.

Daenerys, the last of House Targaryen, has been building an army, freeing slaves and adding them to her retinue, all with an eye to return to Westeros and reclaim her family's Throne.

Long reading aside, if you've made it this far you won't want to stop.

SIF 02: A Clash of Kings (Martin, George RR)

2010-12-29T07:28:00.002-06:00

Rating: 5
Year: 1996
Genre: Fantasy
Read again? Yes!

The second of 5 fat novels in 'A Song of Ice and Fire.'

The blood-red comet has grown brighter and larger, now visible by day, and everyone's sure it's a sign.

Stannis Baratheon has named himself the rightful Heir, setting himself against his younger brother Renly to the south, Robb Stark to the north, and the boy-king Joffrey. Stannis is certain that Joffrey is Cersei Lannister's bastard child, fathered by her twin brother Jaime.

The kingdom is in pieces, as is the Stark family.
--Lord Eddard Stark is dead, executed as a scapegoat for the death of King Robert.
--Robb Stark has marshaled an army and leads the North against King Joffrey; his mother Catelyn travels with him.
--Sansa Stark (the 'good daughter') is to be wed to Joffrey.
--Arya (the 'wild daughter') managed to escape the city the day her father was executed and is making her way north, hoping to rejoin her family.
--Brandon Stark and his little brother remain at Winterfell, the family castle.
--Jon Snow is with a band of the Night's Watch, traveling north to spy on the Wildlings.

Half a world away, Daenerys Targaryen leads her three dragons and a small group of followers on a quest to regain her family's rightful claim to the Throne, facing starvation, assassins, and betrayal.

All the good things I said of the first book apply here as well.

SIF 01: A Game of Thrones (Martin, George RR)

2010-12-29T05:28:00.005-06:00

Rating: 5
Year: 1996
Genre: Fantasy
Read again? Yes!

This is the book that changed my tastes in Fantasy novels. Before I read this, I was reading Mercedes Lackey's "Valdemar" series at least once a year. But Martin's darker, grittier style of storytelling, solid plotting and characterization simply puts Lackey to shame. She can be dark, yes, but her longer works tend to sag under their own weight even for being a third as long as one of Martin's novels.

"Thrones" is the first in Martin's epic 'A Song of Ice and Fire.' For all the characters he introduces--close to 1,100--this series boils down to the scheming of one evil, petty, power-hungry bitch named Cersei of House Lannister.

Cersei is Queen of the realm of Westeros, wife to King Robert Baratheon I. She loathes Robert and wants him out of the way so she can rule in his stead. She tolerates his occasional attempts at lovemaking, but has avoided having children with him, preferring to warm the bed of her twin brother Jaime instead. All three of her children (Joffrey, Myrcella & Tommen) were fathered by Jaime. Seemingly only a few people bother to find the truth, but Cersei has them killed to protect herself.

King Robert was a mighty warrior 15 years ago; these days he's a fat drunkard. He doesn't like his wife any more than she likes him, so he spends his time wenching and drinking, fathering a bewildering number of bastard children during his reign. He knows he's surrounded by people with more loyalty to his wife than to himself, so he travels far to the north to convince his old friend Eddard Stark to come to stand beside the Throne and advise him.

When Robert dies after a hunting...accident...the realm quickly falls apart; his brothers Renly and Stannis each claim to be Heir to the Throne, questioning Joffrey's parentage and opposing his succession. Joffrey quickly shows himself to be as evil and spiteful as his mother, having Eddard Stark executed--and this brings Eddard's eldest son Robb into the Game of Thrones.

The realm fractures, the families resume their old rivalries, and the bodies pile up in a bloody harvest.

Meanwhile, far to the north, Eddard Stark's bastard son Jon Snow has joined the Night's Watch, long ago set to guard the northern border of the realm from bands of wildling people and the Others.

Meanwhile again, in a more distant land, Danearys Targaryen (the last daughter of this formerly ruling family) faces an arranged marriage to a barbarian king. Robert feared the return of a Targaryen--any Targaryen--to the realm, and he ordered her murder.

There could be so many more "meanwhiles."

This book should come with score cards and wrist splints. Once King Robert dies, the body count goes up. The reader shouldn't get too attached to point-of-view characters, either: Martin kills them off in service to the story. This adds some weight to the narrative that I'd really like to see from other authors. He doesn't protect his POV or "main" characters any more or less than those supporting them and it brings a realistic sense to his books. Even relatively minor characters have a story, even if it's just a few words to let us know that this is someone's father, or that one is the town drunk. This makes them into people, even if they're put to the sword shortly thereafter.

This is where those wrist splints come in: "Thrones" runs to 807 pages. Martin doesn't waste them. The story is gripping and fast-paced even when little is happening.

Pearl Harbor: America's Darkest Day (Susan Wels, 2001)

2010-12-26T16:36:00.002-06:00

Rating: 3
Year: 2001
Genre: Nonfiction/History
Read again? Maybe

First off...printed in Hong Kong?! Really? I'm bombing two points for that. Having a Foreword by WW2 vet Senator Daniel Inouye doesn't make up for it.

This isn't much of a reading book. It's not an in-depth scholarly work.There's just enough information to keep the narrative moving and hopefully enough to make the reader want to know more.

The book's strength is in the pictures. It's lavishly illustrated from cover to cover with period photos and beautifully-rendered paintings.

Why Buildings Fall Down (Matthys Levy & Mario Salvadori)

2010-12-26T16:27:00.003-06:00

Rating: 5
Year: 1992
Genre: Architecture
Read again? Yup.

I don't remember why I started reading this little book back in May; I must have been tired from the Dresden books and looking for anything that wasn't a series. Whatever the cause, this is a neat book, a series of short investigations into some notable architectural failures.

They tells us about pyramids, bridge collapses, a WW2 bomber running into the Empire State Building, stadium roof failures, and how one little old lady making tea caused the failure of an apartment building in Britain.

There's just enough detail to sketch out each situation without burying the reader in formulae and technical terms. It's not exactly light reading, but it's something different to read.

No Country for Old Men (McCarthy, Cormac)

2010-12-26T16:02:00.002-06:00

Rating: 4
Year: 2005
Genre: Drama
Read again? Maybe

McCarthy's got an unorthodox writing style. No quotes on dialog. Likes to chain things together with "and." That being said, once you get used to McCarthy's style, it's still a good story.

Llewellyn Moss is a former Vietnam War sniper. It's the late '70s, somewhere along the Texas-Mexico border. He's hunting antelope.

He thinks he's made a kill, but the wounded animal was still up on its feet, so Moss has some hiking to do if he's going to get it.

Instead of his prize, he comes across a miniature war zone: dead men lying on the ground, trucks riddled with bullet holes, and one pickup truck loaded with heroin. He does some math, figures that there's a guy missing, and follows his tracks out of the area and into the hills. The dead man's propped up under a tree with a case loaded with more than two million bucks.

He knows he's making a mistake in grabbing the money, but he grabs it and gets the hell out of the area.

He's soon being looked for by a principled killer who won't settle for simply getting his employers' money back. Moss has to die. Nothing personal. It's about the principle and the inconvenience.

On Moss' side is a sheriff who's trying to protect him and an ex-Special Forces guy who can't protect him but is hoping to stop the killings.

If you've seen the movie, you won't miss anything in the book. The screenwriters stayed very close to it.

A Word from Limbo...

2010-12-26T08:54:00.005-06:00

Just stopping in to knock the dust out of the Blog; all the Dresden reviews are finally done seven months after I finished reading the books. At first, I was bored with the whole review thing. Then in July I had some health issues that still haven't been resolved enough for me to do much more than read and sleep, usually more of the latter than the former.

I've got the remaining books of the year in my sights: Cormac McCarthy's "No Country for Old Men"; George R. R. Martin's wrist-hurting "A Song of Ice and Fire" series; and Robert Asprin's much lighter "Myth" series. If I can stay awake and focused, they'll be up shortly along with the Top Ten and Ten Worst for the year.

Dresden Files 12: Changes

2010-12-26T08:42:00.003-06:00

Rating: 5
Year: 2010
Genre: Fantasy
Read again? Yup.

Another WHAT?! opening: Susan, Harry's long-lost almost-vampire girlfriend, calls to tell him that their daughter has been taken by Red Court vampires. He didn't know anything about the kidlet before the call, so he's understandably pissed off at her.

She and an associate come to town, the same guy she was teamed up with in "Death Masks." They're part of an organization dedicated to fighting the Red Court vampires.

The Red Court sends operatives of its own to blow up Dresden's office and sends an ambassador to the White Council to cut him off from any help, ostensibly to secure peace between the Wizards and vampires after a decade of war that has devastated both sides.

Lots of threads come together here: relationships revealed, awful decisions to be made, and the biggest battle yet in the ongoing war with the Red Court.

This is the "pivot" book; everything balances on it. And everything changes from here on.

And now I have to wait 'till April 2011 for the next book.

Dresden Files 11: Turn Coat

2010-12-26T08:34:00.002-06:00

Rating: 5
Year: 2009
Genre: Fantasy
Read again? Yup.

This one begins with a good "holy shit!!" moment as the Warden who's been after Dresden for years turns up badly wounded on Harry's doorstep, begging for help. Morgan is wanted for the murder of another Wizard.

It seems as though everyone's looking for Morgan, hoping to claim a reward: the White council, White-Court vampires, a bounty-hunter wizard with a private army of not-men, and worst of all, a Skinwalker--a fearsome shapeshifting demon.

There are some awesome little moments between Morgan, Molly the apprentice, and Mouse the dog--and no, I'm not going to describe them. If you're not reading the Dresden Files after all the hyping I'm doing, you're missing out!

Here's one more reason you should be reading: The traitor on the White Council is finally revealed!

Dresden Files 10: Small Favor

2010-12-26T07:51:00.002-06:00

Rating: 5
Year: 2008
Genre: Fantasy
Read again? Yes

It never lets up on Harry Dresden, does it? This time around, someone is trying to kill him by sending Gruffs, billy-goat-like creatures. When he defeats one wave, the next ones are larger!

Mab, the Queen of Winter, wants him to find Gentleman Johnnie Marcone. She gives him a vision of Marcone being captured by the Denarians, the evil demons from "Death Masks." If they're back in town, dealing with the Gruffs and having Molly as an apprentice are just nuisances.

Butcher takes us further into the ever-expanding notion of a Black Council slowly consolidating power in the world. Dresden has long suspected the existence of such an organization; he knows there's a traitor on the White Council of Wizards, but Marcone's capture points to a traitor in the gangster's company as well.

Apparently, there's a traitor amongst the Denarians as well....

Dresden Files 09: White Night

2010-12-26T07:41:00.002-06:00

Rating: 5
Year: 2007
Genre: Fantasy
Read again? Yes

Someone is killing witches in Chicagoland, leaving biblical verses as tags on or near the bodies, cheerful messages like "Suffer not a witch to live!"

Harry quickly learns that someone wearing a grey cloak--the mark of a White Council Warden--has been seen with some of the victims. Harry's a Warden, he's in Chicago, and people are afraid he's the killer. He's got a less-than-shiny reputation.

And what the hell is up with Thomas, Harry's vampire half-brother? Why do some of the clues point to him as the killer?

Cowl--one of the Necromancers from "Dead Beat"--is back in town. Where does he fit in?

That's not all!

Harry's ex is in town.

Dresden Files 08: Proven Guilty

2010-12-26T06:47:00.003-06:00

Rating: 5
Year: 2006
Genre: Fantasy
Read again? Yes

Harry attends the execution of a kid caught practicing black magic. Kid or not, any violation of the Laws of Magic can get you killed unless you have friends on the White Council like Dresden did: he was a sword's length from death after his own self-defense killing of his evil master.

This kid didn't have friends.

Harry's own protector, his replacement teacher & father figure Ebenezar McCoy, asks him to look into an increase in black magic activity around Chicago. Nearly 200 wizards--mostly the grey-cloaked Wardens--and some 45 thousand noncombatants--men, women and children--have been killed in the ongoing war against the vampires. Their massive onslaught was timed to take advantage of recent attempts by three Necromancers to raise a zombie army.

Harry quickly finds more trouble: the eldest daughter of his evil-fighting friend Michael Carpenter practically falls into Harry's lap when she calls him begging for help. Molly's boyfriend has been arrested for attacking an old man in a restroom.

Dresden rescues the girl, bails the boyfriend out, and in short order finds himself at "SplatterCon!!!" (a horror movie convention). The threads of black magic are still all over the restroom where the attack took place. The old man was beaten severely and gleefully--but not by the kid.

Then the lights go out and the screaming starts!

Butcher keeps delivering good, fast-paced storytelling. The book's title is the first that doesn't pun on the theme of the story ("Fool Moon" had werewolves, "Dead Beat" had zombies, etc.). "Proven Guilty" reminds us of the execution of the opening scene (which troubles Dresden throughout the story) and could easily be applied to another kid caught practicing black magic: Molly Carpenter.

Dresden Files 07: Dead Beat (Butcher, Jim)

2010-07-27T18:58:00.004-05:00

Rating: 5
Year: 2005
Genre: Fantasy
Read again? Yes

It's been about a year; that little pup Harry picked up in Blood Rites has become a big dog, with a little more growing ahead. Thomas the Vampire Slob is still living in Dresden's living room. Murphy leaves for a Hawaii vacation with Kincaid; Harry tells himself he's not jealous, but he's still having a bad day.

He gets a note from Mavra, bundled with some incriminating photos of the big kill-the-vampires fight. The pictures could easily ruin Murphy's career and put her in prison. The note calls for a meeting.

Mavra wants him to find something called The Word of Kemmler and gives him until Halloween midnight to bring it to her. Otherwise, she'll destroy Murph's life.

Harry soon learns that Kemmler was an evil necromancer, a magician who can raise the dead. The Word is his collection of notes, a how-to manual--and there are other people looking for it, with plans for Something Big come Halloween.

COOL: Dresden's zombie Tyrannosaurus Rex!

Dresden Files 06: Blood Rites (Butcher, Jim)

2010-07-27T18:35:00.003-05:00

Rating: 5
Year: 2004
Genre: Fantasy
Read again? Yes

Sam Spade never had it like this! We join Harry Dresden as he finishes a case, rescuing a litter of Temple Dog puppies from a troop of evil monkey demons that fling flaming poo bombs. He hands off the box-o-pups to a thankful monk...only to realize that one of the pups has adopted him.

His next case pops up quickly: he's hired to protect a film crew after a pair of unlikely deaths take two of the executive producer's staff.

It takes him a little longer to realize that the producer makes porn movies.

Meanwhile, Mavra the Black-Court vampire has brought a scourge of her minions to get Dresden. For once, Harry decides that he's just going to find them and wipe them all out.

His cop sidekick Murphy jumps at the chance to join the fight, since it'll get her away from the big Murphy family reunion (and questions of why she's not settling down and getting married).

Dresden hires Kincaid, a bodyguard/assassin/mercenary type to help. Kincaid agrees, but warns Harry that he has to pay in full and on time (whether he's got the money or not) or his ticket will get punched.

As usual, great pacing, humor, some bad puns, some emotional moments, and more growth for Dresden and Murphy as people. Watch for that pup and Thomas the White-Court Vampire in future books.

Dresden Files 05: Death Masks (Butcher, Jim)

2010-06-08T21:39:00.003-05:00

Rating: 5
Year: 2003
Genre: Fantasy
Read again? Yup.

Harry Dresden, wizard and detective, doing an appearance on a local talk TV show, finds himself face to face with Duke Ortega, one of the most notorious and highest-ranking Red Court vampires. Ortega's using the show setting for protection: since the Red Court and wizards are at war, there wouldn't be anything to keep Dresden from wasting him if Ortega just knocked on his apartment door.

Ortega wants to talk and make a deal.

He wishes Dresden to face him in single combat. If Harry refuses, he'll see his friends and allies and some former clients assassinated. Dresden agrees to kick Ortega's ass. If he wins, Chicago will become neutral territory as long as those friends, allies and clients stay there. If they leave, they're prey.

The other special guest is a priest who has come from the Vatican to hire Dresden to find a bit of stolen cloth, the Shroud (yes, that one)! It was stolen a few days earlier and tracked as far as Chicago, where someone's apparently hoping to buy it.

Another snag: "Gentleman" Johnnie Marcone seems to have put out a hit on Dresden!

As if that's not enough, there are some new demons in town: Denarians. Remember those 30 pieces of silver? They're real, and each one contains a Fallen angel. If you take up one of the coins, you're open to the influence of that demon--and you get super powers!

They're after the Shroud.

On Harry's side is Murphy the cop and the three Knights of the Cross: Michael (the sword-swinging carpenter), Shiro and Sanya.

Plenty of action, suspense, and fun. Dresden delivers one amazing, well-deserved beating to one of the bad guys. The third time through it seems a bit over-the-top; there's a lot of that in the series, but it's so much fun I don't even care!

Dresden 04: Summer Knight (Butcher, Jim)

2010-05-15T20:55:00.003-05:00

Rating: 5
Year: 2002
Genre: Fantasy
Read again? Yup!

WAR!

The Red Court of Vampires have declared war on the White Council wizards. In the few months since the end of "Grave Peril," the vampires have sent assassins after Dresden and other wizards. The White Council convenes a meeting in Chicago--technically, the war is his fault--to discuss the war and whether there even needs to be a Wizard named Harry Dresden.

They're aware, of course, that the Winter Queen of Faerie wants him to solve the murder of an old man. Chicago PD says it's suicide. Queen Mab says it's not. The man was murdered, and since he was the Summer Knight, the Summer Faeries are gearing up to war, convinced that their Knight was killed by Mab or one of her own.

Solve the murder, prevent an impending war, save his own ass from the wizard Council...all in a day's work for the Wizard P.I.

AWESOME: Harry battles a chlorofiend in the garden center of a Super Wal-Mart!

Cool stuff: Dresden goes to visit one of the Faerie chicks by going through Undertown, a sort of underground Chicago. Turns out it's real, to an extent. Dresden's Chicago is more of an alternate Chicago. Butcher lives in Kansas City!

Fun, fast-paced, great characters, all the good stuff I've said about the previous three books. If you haven't read them yet--what the hell are you WAITING for?!

Dresden Files 03: Grave Peril (Butcher, Jim)

2010-05-15T20:17:00.002-05:00

Rating: 5
Year: 2001
Genre: Fantasy
Read again? Yes

The ghosts of Chicago are freaking out! A demon is after Harry, looking for revenge!

And then there's a "must-attend" costume ball hosted by a vampire.

Harry teams up with Michael, a Knight of the Cross who always seems to show up where he's needed, as if guided by a holy power.

The pace is tight and solid right from the start. Dresden and Michael face a ghost in the maternity ward of a hospital, only to discover a torture spell woven into the ghost's "flesh." The same spell shows up a few more times: ghosts being tortured. But why?

Harry soon finds himself in over his head, trying to protect himself and his friends from a demon that can invade their minds. Who the hell has time for a costume party?

It's good to read a series where the characters grow as the story moves along, and where things don't simply go as expected. There are plenty of bendy spots, HOLY CRAP!! moments, and (as always) a wicked pop-cultural reference right when it's needed.

"Peril" introduces a minor annoyance that becomes a recurring one in later books: Dresden's battered Volkswagen Bug must be at least part TARDIS; it's got quite a bit of interior space. As Dresden and Michael are suiting up for their attack on the hospital ghost, they pull a long-ass (5-foot-long) sword and Dresden's wizard staff out of the back seat. By "Dead Beat," the car's carrying Dresden, a vampire, a coroner, a dog the size of a mastiff, Dresden's wizard staff, and a polka suit.

Polka suit, yes. Read the book!

Dresden Files 02: Fool Moon (Butcher, Jim)

2010-05-04T21:36:00.003-05:00

Rating: 5/5
Year: 2000
Genre: Fantasy
Read again? Yup

A rash of grisly murders took place during the previous full moon. Now Harry Dresden, Wizard P.I., is trying to prevent more. Yup--this book's about werewolves!

Butcher gives us three kinds of werewolf:
The "classic" werewolf--human uses magic to change self into a wolf.
hexenwolf--human uses someone else's magic in a talisman (a belt, in this case) to transform into a wolf. Any weapon that'll kill a person can kill either of these.
loup-garou--human is cursed to become a wolf on the full moon. Only inherited silver can kill him.

Chicago is overrun with wolves: one loup-garou, his mate, a gang of nerdy college kids led by one Billy, a biker gang called the Street Wolves.

On the Law & Order side, there are four FBI agents who keep showing up and taking over Chicago PD's investigation.

On the Criminal Underworld side, there's crime boss "Gentleman" Johnny Marcone, who wants to hire Dresden.

Then there's Dresden's sometimes-girlfriend Susan, a reporter always looking for the next big story.

Butcher's second offering is as good as the first. The plot is fun and engaging and the chemistry between the smart-assed Dresden and the other characters just feels right. I really like how Butcher gives us several different kinds of werewolf at once--a werewolf biker gang? Werewolf nerds? Awesome.

Dresden Files 01: Storm Front (Butcher, Jim)

2010-04-15T20:25:00.003-05:00

Rating: 5
Year: 2000
Genre: Fantasy
Read again? Yup.

This'll be my third time through the Dresden series, and it's a pleasure--more so because of the rash of crappy "Star Trek" I recently ingested. You'll find most of them listed in the "2/5" category. Just make a note of the title...and don't read 'em. I'm like the bookish Jesus--I suffer so you won't need to!

Chicago's Harry Dresden is a modern-day take on Phillip Marlowe or Sam Spade: a hard-boiled wise-ass detective who's just good enough at his job to get by. Only...Dresden is a wizard for hire. Lost your car keys? Need a ghost removed from your attic? Dresden's your guy!

He gets hired to find a wayward husband. Guy's been gone three days.

He also gets a call from Lt. Murphy with the Chicago Police. She brings him in on a double-murder: a couple in the midst of bumping uglies were targeted by evil, hateful magic, their hearts exploded.

The man was an employee of "Gentleman" Johnny Marcone, Chicago's resident crime boss. The girl was a high-high-high-high-end ~~hooker~~ ~~prostitute~~ ~~whore~~ escort employed by Bianca. A vampire.

Marcone wants Dresden to sit this one out. He wants to get the killer himself.

The Dresden books are fun as hell. Butcher's treatment of magic is logical, realistic, practical-seeming. Dresden is powerful, but limited in how he can use his power. He's very young for a wizard, barely past being an apprentice. On top of that, he's on parole with the White Council for killing his mentor in a to-the-death duel: one wrong move, one violation of the Laws of Magic, and he is dead. Dresden comes across as a stand-up guy who wants to do what's right, but fumbles pretty badly when it comes to dealing with people.

All he's got do do is find the killer, find the missing husband, keep a vampire from killing him, keep the cops from busting him, and keep from being the killer's next victim!

Characterization is excellent, the plot romps along, and it's well-paced. There's wicked humor, plenty of little pop-culture references for sci-fi and fantasy buffs.

I'd recommend reading the books before trying to watch the Sci-Fi channel's TV adaptation from a few years ago. The show is different enough in some important ways as to be entirely unrelated to Butcher's books.

Star Trek--TNG #06 Power Hungry (Weinstein, Howard)

2010-04-15T20:00:00.004-05:00

Rating: 2
Year: 1989
Genre: Sci-Fi/Star Trek
Read again? Nope.

This is somewhere in Next Generation's second season--hottie Troi, Riker and his beard, and bitchy Dr. Pulaski. It's a time when Data still hadn't figured out that he could link to a slang dictionary so he could stop interrupting conversations for the obligatory comic relief.

It should be noted that Troi and Riker are prominent on the book's cover...but Troi barely figures in the story.

The Enterprise is escorting five cargo drones in a relief mission to the planet Thiopa. This planet's not part of the Federation or any of the other big political groups, so the Federation's hoping to ifluence them by sending food and medicine to the near-starving, badly-polluted world.

When they arrive, they find that Thiopa is bitterly divided between the polluting technocrats and the nature-worshiping Sojourners.

This is a very linear plot; Thiopa is essentially Ethiopia, right down to regular people being starved while the ruling class (warlords, in their case) feast and live well and demonize the Sojourners as terrorists.

The book drags--and most annoyingly, it just ends. The two rival leaders are given a chance to talk, work things out--but not even face-to-face, just by visual teleconference. They bicker back and forth, so Picard just divvies up the relief supplies and leaves, leaving a good bit of unresolved plot behind without any significant diplomatic effort. One would think that such an important planet would have rated some effort.

Let me summarize the entire story:

"Your world is an environmental wreck. We want to help you, but you have to work together."

"NO!!"

"Okay. Here's some rice and grain for you to plant in your polluted ground and arid desert, to be watered by your acid rain. You're farked. 'Bye."

The end. I just saved you almost THREE HUNDRED pages of suck. Characterization was so-so. I could have done without the Data-hasn't-heard-this-figure-of-speech-yet gags. The most wasted character, however, was the so-called ambassador in charge of delivering the cargo to the Thiopans. He wasn't much of a diplomat, really, spending most of his time being an ass to just about everyone, including the people he's supposed to be helping.

Star Trek--TOS #45: Double, Double (Friedman, Michael Jan)

2010-04-06T22:59:00.002-05:00

Rating: 3
Year: 1989
Genre: Sci-fi/Star Trek
Read again? Eh. I don't know.

At some point after the Trek episode What Are Little Girls Made Of?, the USS Hood receives a distress call from supposed survivors of an expedition. The ship is quickly taken over by androids designed to replicate the crew.

The androids are led by a replica of James Kirk--and while he wants to finish the work of his creator, Dr. Korby (to establish an android colony), he also wants revenge on the real Kirk for his interference in Korby's work.

Meanwhile, the Enterprise is mounting a rescue mission. A swarm of asteroids is about to conveniently wipe out an entire civilization of aboriginal people on an island. The swarm's inconveniently large and fast, so there's no shooting or pushing them around. With minutes to spare, Kirk rescues a kid who went foraging for eggs. Beamed up in the nick of time, and all that.

It turns out that the kid's people have a life-debt thingie where the kid's got to stay with Kirk for a year, or until the life-debt is paid off, whichever comes first. So the kid (conveniently an empath) comes along (hint: androids don't have feelings).

There's also trouble with the Romulans.

Pedestrian. Few surprises in the plot and plenty of things that could have been tightened up. The book doesn't drag, but I really wish it had been more fun. I should have taken more points off for having so many pat plot points--and I should send Friedman a bill for doctor visits to fix rolled-eye muscle strains.

The big "pro" for this book is that there are no Space Animals--no anthropomorphic cows, wallabies, sheep, mice, cockroaches, snot puddles, or any of the other things that populate some Trek books.

The big "cons": stuff Friedman got wrong (I hope he eventually learned his "Trek" stuff, since someone kept giving him work):
--Romulans use disruptors and plasma--not phasers and photon torpedoes.
--Spock is a touch-telepath (can read thoughts, if he's touching you), not primarily an empath.
--The characters are 2-dimensional and stock: the emotionless Vulcan, McCoy the a-hole, Kirk the amiable hero.
--(spoiler) The Enterprise crew isn't killed after replication the way everyone else was.

Star Trek--TOS #39: Time for Yesterday (Crispin, AC)

2010-04-06T22:33:00.004-05:00

Rating: 3
Year: 1988
Genre: Sci-fi/Star Trek
Read again? In a few years.

This sequel to Yesterday's Son takes place just before "The Wrath of Khan."

Stars are dying. Time is running too fast and making them burn out! Kirk, Spock and McCoy--three of only a few people in the Federation who know what the Guardian of Forever really is--are sent to try to find out why it's suddenly wreaking havoc with the galaxy's time-stream.

They take a psychic Space Wallaby, the best candidate for talking to the Guardian. It zaps her brain, so there's only one thing to do: go back 5,000 years, find Spock's son Zar (who once talked psychically to the Guardian), and bring him back to the present! Great Spock!

There's a snag. For Zar, it's only been about 15 years since the last time he saw them. He's been using the time to build a little kingdom in a pleasant valley. But he's surrounded by enemies! When they find him, Zar is marshaling his forces, preparing to die in battle.

A much better book than its predecessor. More twists and turns, better characterization. But the science sucks, even for a "Star Trek" novel.

Howlers:
"When a star burns all of its hydrogen, it dies." (page 33). WRONG. Stars aren't really "burning" hydrogen--they're doing nuclear fusion, where hydrogen atoms are fused into helium atoms and energy. If it's a sun-sized star, once it has "burned" through a certain amount of its hydrogen, it expands to become a red giant (there's more to it than that, but dammit, Jim, I'm a book reviewer, not an astronomer!).
Crispin's got stars going nova all over the place and uses that as the "ticking clock" gimmick that's supposed to push the plot...but they've got a freaking TIME portal they could use to minimize that problem.

One point off for the sucky science--and another for the Space Wallaby.

Star Trek--TOS #8 Yesterday's Son (Crispin, AC)

2010-04-06T21:53:00.003-05:00

Rating: 3
Year: 1983
Genre: Sci-fi/Star Trek
Read again? In another decade

The book starts off with a weak premise: Spock & Dr. McCoy are playing chess; a new girl comes over, asks Spock about Sarpeidon, the planet where Spock & McCoy went back 5,000 years in time (and Spock nailed Mariette Hartley--"All Our Yesterdays"). She's got pictures of some of the relics of Sarpeidon's lost civilization, including a recognizable Vulcan painted on one cave wall, where no Vulcan had gone before!

Here's the weak part: the Vulcan's so recognizable that Spock knows it's not himself--therefore it must be his son.

Of course he's going to use the Guardian of Forever to go back there. McCoy and Captain Kirk tag along. Poof! They go back and find Zar, now in his mid-twenties, living alone in the icy wilderness. He's a proficient hunter and survivor, but he's been lonely for years since his mother died. He willingly agrees to go back to the future!

This is a much better book than Diane Carey's Battlestations! and Dreadnought!; characterization is reasonably good, but the plot's very linear. There have to be Bad Guys, so Crispin brings in some Romulans who wonder why the Federation is spending so much time trying to keep the Guardian's planet a secret. Big fight, of course. Zar goes back to his own time--pretty much has to.

Star Trek--TOS #31 Battlestations! (Carey, Diane)

2010-03-20T16:53:00.004-05:00

Rating: 2/5
Year: 1986
Genre: Sci-Fi/Star Trek
Read again? Nope.

Hot on the heels of "Dreadnought" comes its sequel, with Diane Carey reprising her starring role in her own book!

It's only been a few weeks since the end of "Dreadnought!"; Piper--now a Lieutenant Commander--is sailing the Caribbean aboard James Kirk's sailboat, the Edith Keeler. Bones and Scotty are along as crew. They're boarded by Security types. Someone has stolen transwarp technology! Kirk and Scotty are beamed away to be questioned. Piper bravely hides below decks until she can engineer a brilliant escape from the remaining guards.

She gets the ship to either Haiti or the Bahamas--doesn't really matter, but Carey muddled things here--and finds the ship Kirk told her would be her first command. See, Kirk knew Something Was Up, just like in the first book, and he wants Piper as his ace in the hole because she's so damn brilliant and stuff.

Her ship is a Space Tug--and two of her adventure-mates are back: Scanner, the rumpled redneck tech genius and Mereta the med tech. Oh, and Bones McCoy comes along.

The mission: go to Argelius to find the transwarp thieves (conveniently disguised as mad scientists from Central Casting), meet up with Kirk and Spock, and save the Universe.

Carey's weak on the math and science stuff, but it's her clumsy narrative and dialogue that really make me wonder how she got more work after these two dogs.

I'll be reading a few of the later books, because she did get better.

Star Trek--TOS 29: Dreadnought! (Carey, Diane)

2010-03-05T10:09:00.004-06:00

Rating: 2
Year: 1986
Genre: Sci-Fi/Star Trek
Read again? Oh, no.

This was a painful read, coming on the heels of Roger Zelazny's "Amber" books and J.M. Dillard's "Star Trek: The Lost Years." Those were all good books.

This one wasn't.

"Dreadnought!" is Diane Carey's first Trek novel. At first I thought the clumsy sentence construction, strange word choices ["fifteen hundred hours in the afternoon"], and bad dialog were intentional, given the book's first person narrative. But the deeper I went, the more it felt like a piece of ego-trip fan fiction starring Diane Carey as the heroine, right down to Boris Vallejo's cover art on the book: a James Bond-ish couple who are supposedly Carey and husband/collaborator Greg Brodeur.

It seems that many others feel the same way; there's even a term for such a character: "Mary Sue."

A Mary Sue (sometimes just Sue), in literary criticism and particularly in fanfiction, is a fictional character with overly idealized and hackneyed mannerisms, lacking noteworthy flaws, and primarily functioning as a wish-fulfillment fantasy for the author or reader. Perhaps the single underlying feature of all characters described as "Mary Sues" is that they are too ostentatious for the audience's taste, or that the author seems to favor the character too highly. The author may seem to push how exceptional and wonderful the "Mary Sue" character is on his or her audience, sometimes leading the audience to dislike or even resent the character fairly quickly; such a character could be described as an "author's pet".

The main character could certainly be called an "author's pet." We're given Lieutenant Piper of Proxima Centauri. As the story opens, she's in the center seat of the USS Liberty, taking the Kobayshi Maru simulation, and she very nearly beats the no-win scenario. Captain James Kirk is watching and gets her assigned to the Enterprise.

Piper--just Piper--gets aboard and soon finds out that Enterprise is shipping out to investigate the theft of a dreadnought-class battleship prototype, the Star Empire. The Space Terrorists who took the ship left a message requesting that Piper be present at an arranged rendezvous with the stolen ship. Her bio-readings will be the key to talking to the thieves.

No, there's no big investigation. No, she's not immediately named a Person of Interest and implicated in the theft. Hell, LIEUTENANT Piper's not even required to wear a proper uniform! That outfit on the Farah Fawcett-haired chick on the cover is what Piper wears for the entire story. Author's pet.

Characterization is spare. Spock is mysterious, perks his eyebrow, and argues with McCoy; Kirk is sexy, commanding; McCoy is a wiseass who argues with the Vulcan. There's little military bearing or professionalism in any Starfleet officer we encounter. Too casual and familiar.

As the plot limps along, we find that Vice Admiral Vaughn Rittenhouse was the head of the Dreadnought project and that he commissioned the ship with nefarious intent: to subjugate the Federation's enemies (and its own people if need be) and force everyone to live happily together (hence the clever name of the ship). He's installed lackeys at many levels of Starfleet, from ship captains to high-level officials, intent on pulling a military coup.

The people who stole the ship did so to block Rittenhouse and bring attention to the crisis. Kirk seems to have figured out that something was up; he wanted Piper as a tool for digging into things because he recognized her obvious abilities, I suppose--but Piper's played as naiive, damn near ignorant of starship or Fleet operations...makes me wonder why she went to the Academy if she couldn't remember any of that stuff.

The story had some potential; in a seasoned writer's hands this could have been a much better story--especially if we lost the ego tripping.

Star Trek--TOS: The Lost Years (Dillard, JM)

2010-03-04T22:48:00.003-06:00

Rating: 5
Year: 1989
Genre: Sci-Fi/Star Trek
Read again? Yes

It's been more than 10 years since my last time through this one. It's about as good as I remembered. Good to see my memory working properly for once.

It's the end of the USS Enterprise's five-year mission [somewhere between the end of the original series and The Motionless Picture] The ship's going into an 18-month refit, her crew going on to other assignments.

James Kirk, now 35, is offered a promotion he doesn't want, from Captain to Rear Admiral, from starship to "troubleshooting" diplomatic situations and being a public face for Starfleet, which is still stinging after an attempted coup by Vice Admiral Vaughn Rittenhouse. After fighting it for six months and threatening to resign, he gives in. Kirk is assigned to work with Vice Admiral Lori Ciana--and their first "troubleshooting" assignment drives the rest of the book.

Spock has his choice of several teaching job offers--Starfleet Academy and the Vulcan Academy being the most noteworthy. When he learns that Kirk has taken the promotion, Spock chooses to stay on Vulcan.

Leonard McCoy leaves to do research on the Fabrini--and to rekindle a romance with Natira, but is heartbroken to find that she's gotten married. He hooks up with Dr. Keridwen ("Dwen") Llewellen and does a short lecture tour, sharing his research on advanced Fabrini medical technology. They end up at Vulcan, where they hang out briefly with Spock and his fiancee'.

The first 118 pages are the First Act, getting everyone into place.

There's a dispute between two populations of Space Cows, the Djanai and the Inari. The Djanai are kind of like Amish Space Cows--their religion requires them to shun technology, live simply. The Inari are technocrats and are the ruling minority of Djana--and they've desecrated holy land with their factories and technology. It's assumed that the Romulans are stirring up trouble, since Djana is in a strategic location for both the Romulans and the Federation.

Kirk and Ciana attend a reception where the Space Cow ambassador and key Federation Council members will try working things out. Things go wrong: Ambassador Sarek (Spock's father) and Uhura are taken hostage, beamed out of the conference center by Space Cows who want to sabotage the peace talks.

So now Kirk and Ciana have to go to Djana to try getting the hostages back AND to get the Space Cows talking to each other.

McCoy gets himself kidnapped by a Vulcan carrying the spirit of a long-dead Vulcan Mind Lord bent on training Romulans (they used to be Vulcans, y'know) to use his fearsome powers.

"Lost Years" isn't a great Star Trek novel, but it's definitely not the worst. It's cleanly-written, a fun read with strong characters and a good grasp of the "feel" of "Star Trek". Though Dillard takes 118 pages to spin up the plots, there's no dragging.

Amber 05: The Courts of Chaos (Zelazny)

2010-01-30T21:57:00.003-06:00

Rating: 5/5
Year: 1978
Genre: Fantasy
Read again? Yes

The closing book in Zelazny's first "Amber" series.

At the end of "The Hand of Oberon," Corwin and his brother Benedict had recovered the Jewel of Judgement from their power-hungry brother Brand--and King Oberon (long thought missing and possibly dead) showed himself.

Now Oberon intends to repair the damage Brand did to the Pattern--and the attempt will kill him, whether he succeeds or not.

He also intends Corwin to be his successor. But with the death of his hated brother Eric, briefly King of Amber, Corwin has realized that he is unfit to rule, and that he only wanted the Throne because Eric had it.

Oberon gives him a mission: Ride. Leave Amber and ride as far and as quickly as he can. Oberon will transport the Jewel to him when his work with the Pattern is done. Then Corwin is to take the Jewel to the Courts of Chaos, to join the rest of the family in a preemptive attack.

Brand is still out there, somewhere--and he still wants the Jewel, to remake things in his own image.

Good finish! I thought for several reasons that this book was going to drag (I seem to remember the ending taking forever), but it doesn't. In the end, our kind-of dark prince realizes that he loves his family, the realm has a new King, and Corwin finds out that he has a son, Merlin.

It's a good bittersweet ending, leaving me wanting more. That's how you do it.

Amber 04: The Hand of Oberon (Zelazny)

2010-01-28T20:48:00.003-06:00

Rating: 5/5
Year: 1976
Genre: Fantasy
Read again? Yes

At the end of "Sign of the Unicorn," Corwin, Random and Ganelon found themselves looking upon the Primal Pattern. Now, a new puzzle piece has been added to the mystery: there's a dark blot running from the center of the Pattern outward, like a cloudy spoke on a wheel. The blot runs to the south, in the same direction as the black road Corwin found cutting through Shadow.

Another piece: They find a Trump in the Pattern's center, pierced by a dagger. Who is the man in the picture? Random realizes that it's his own son, Martin. But who drew his picture on the card? Was he killed by the stabbing? It's apparent that his blood caused the damage to the pattern and gave the enemies of Amber the black road upon which to travel.

They return to Amber; Random sets out to find his son. Corwin finds his way to the study of Dworkin, who created the Pattern--and Amber--and drew the Trumps. Dworkin recognizes Brand's style in the Trump drawing.

Why did Brand damage the Pattern? Doing so threatens not only Amber itself but all of Shadow--every other world (including ours) could come to an end. The only way to repair the damage is to use the Jewel of Judgement to re-draw the damaged parts of the Pattern--and Brand is after it as well, for it can also be used to destroy the Pattern.

Can Corwin find the Jewel before Brand does?

Corwin adds a few final pieces to the mystery of the car wreck that laid him up in the hospital. At first, he'd thought that his brother Eric was responsible. Then Brand told him that their brother Bleys had shot out his tire and caused the crash. Now Corwin learns that Brand was the shooter, and all the "rescue" stuff was just Brand trying to find out what Corwin knew, to determine his danger to his plans. Efter centuries of hating Eric enough to try killing him...Corwin realizes that his brother had acted for Corwin's good despite his own hatred.

Very complicated family. Zelazny was a master of making his characters complicated and coflicted, strong and wounded, and believeable.

I just thought of something: Out of all the books (single or series) I've read, Zelazny's "Amber" books are some of the only ones that haven't developed problems after repeated reading. Back in 1995, when I first started reading Lackey's ever-expanding "Valdemar" series, I devoured them, going through the entire set of what I had several times a year. Then apparently the "honeymoon" ended and I went to Valdemar less and less, finding more reading pleasure in greater variety. I even stopped reading the "Amber" books nearly as often. But where "Amber" remains a pleasure to read, the last several times through "Valdemar" grew more and more tedious. I've yet to finish the most-recent read-through (six books left), and I'm not inclined to do so just now.

Besides, I've got another quintet of "Amber" books and some short stories to enjoy before I bother thinking about that's next.

Amber 03: Sign of the Unicorn--full review (Zelazny)

2010-01-28T19:38:00.003-06:00

Rating: 5/5
Year: 1975
Genre: Fantasy
Read again? Yes

It's been a week since the battle at the end of "The Guns of Avalon." Corwin is nominally in charge, but he refuses to take the throne of Amber. His hated brother Eric died--and with him went Corwin's ambitions for ruling Amber. Besides, there are more important matters.

Caine--one of the remaining princes--is dead, his throat cut; Corwin returns to the palace with the body of his own prime suspect, a shadowy man like those who were chasing Random at the beginning of the series.

He gets the story from Random: he had been off losing himself in a Shadow that catered to his own interests. Gambling, women, smoky Jazz clubs to play drums in, great thermals for flying a glider...one night during a card game, one of the cards seemed to speak. It was Brand, chained in a tower a great distance away from Amber, and he begged Random for deliverance from his prison.

Random set out to try a rescue only to be thwarted, so he did the prudent thing and bailed out of there, chased by a bunch of shady men who did the impossible: they followed him through Shadow. He managed to reduce their numbers in several fights, but the six who survived followed him right to Flora's house in upstate New York, where the amnesiac Corwin was staying.

Corwin gathers the remaining family members and announces his plan to rescue Brand from that tower. It works, but someone stabs Brand--and then Corwin himself is knifed in his own bedroom.

Things only get more complicated from there; Corwin learns that Brand, Bleys and Fiona had formed a cabal with the intent of taking the throne of Amber away from their father, King Oberon. Eric, Julian and Caine formed their own cabal in opposition. Corwin is told that Bleys shot out his tire, causing the wreck that put him in the hospital where he awoke in the first book.

The chess game of Amber politics continues! Now there's a murder mystery, two attempted murders, a conspiracy against King Oberon (who's still missing), and Corwin's own back-story, all puzzles to be solved. He gets some new pieces to work with, but every time he seems to get some of them in their proper places, something happens to shift the entire thing again.

Amber 02: The Guns of Avalon (Zelazny)--Full review

2010-01-12T19:59:00.005-06:00

Rating: 5
Year: 1972
Genre: Fantasy
Read again? Yes

Prince Corwin makes his way to Avalon, intent on taking the throne of Amber away from his brother Eric. On the way, he finds himself in a land called Lorraine, where he helps to defeat some bad things that live in a blackened circle of land. Afterward, the people of Lorraine fear him, for in their folklore the evil Lord Corwin ruled the land without mercy. He doesn't bother trying to explain that this was not him--and it doesn't matter anyway, since he's still got to go to Avalon.

He and an old friend named Ganelon travel for several days, Corwin manipulating Shadow to bring them closer to the land they once knew and loved: for the "true" Avalon is long since fallen. They reach one of Avalon's reflections--much the same, but not theirs, for this Avalon's tales remember him unkindly, too.

They reach an Avalon mopping up after its own victory in battle with the forces of darkness. Avalon's "Protector" turns out to be one of Corwin's brothers, Prince Benedict.

Can Corwin complete his business in Avalon without Benedict learning of his plans?

Ahhhh, more good reading. Once again, Zelazny gets us into the action quickly. He keeps his narrative and dialogue simple, using only what's needed. Corwin tells us what he saw and felt at the time, and it feels plausible. More than any other fantasy series, "Amber" is the one in which I wish I could live, where all I need do is walk, changing my surroundings, until I reached my own Amber.

Amber 01: Nine Princes in Amber (Zelazny, Roger)--full review

2010-01-05T23:11:00.005-06:00

Rating: 5/5
Year: 1970
Genre: Fantasy
Read again? Yes!

Awwww, yeah. It's good to begin a new year with good reading. I've been reading and re-reading Roger Zelazny's "Amber" series since maybe 1983. From then until the mid-90s, I was reading the whole set at least twice a year, especially when Zelazny started adding to the original five with another set of five. The original quintet is told from the point of view of Prince Corwin of Amber. The second set is told by his son Merlin.

Corwin awakens in a small private hospital somewhere in New York state. He remembers a car crash, but his own identity is a mystery. There's a "hard-boiled detective" quality to this part of the book. Is his name Corey? Carl? Who caused the wreck? Who's keeping him there?

Sister? Evelyn Flaumel? Nothing to do but go for a visit. She's got a very expensive house in upstate New York. They talk. She gives him his own name--Corwin. She mentions "Eric." All he knows is that he hates the man.

The mystery unfolds a bit at a time, as they should. Building, building...a name...a place...a scrap of memory...they talk some more.

Julian.
Caine.
Bleys.
No faces, no clue who these men are. He knows he can't trust anyone. Every interaction is a chess match played many moves ahead, with life and death at stake. He doesn't tell Evelyn about his amnesia.

She mentions Amber. He knows it's a place, but can't see it in his mind.
Florimel; he knows that's her real name.

The next morning, she's gone. He explores the library, ultimately finding a small case of cards. They're designed like Tarot cards--wands, pentacles, cups and swords, and the Greater Trumps are people he knows.
Random.
Julian.
Caine.
Eric.
Benedict.
Corwin himself.
Gerard.
Bleys.
Brand.
Nine brothers.

Florimel--Flora, for short.
Dierdre.
Fiona.
Llewella.
Four sisters.

But what's with the medieval garb? Why does Corwin know how to use a sword?

Brisk the pace, quick the action, and short the novel. By page 141 Corwin has his answers, has regained his memories and has joined brother Bleys in raising an army and navy to take the throne of Amber from their usurping brother Eric. We've got 34 pages to go.

We're into the action quickly, as opposed to the near-leisurely pace of a 400-page Mercedes Lackey novel. By page 141 in one of her books, the protagonist is just facing the Big Crisis that ends the first act, with decades of pages thereafter 'til resolution. Then you've got two more 400-page books after that.

Zelazny takes us much farther with an economy that I really wish Lackey and other wordy writers would (or could) learn. His style is conversational and flows without distractions. But as we'll see in the next nine books, he builds a believable, complicated, sophisticated world, joining mythology, psychology, philosophy, and references to Shakespeare.

Amber: Re-reading the Classics

2010-01-01T16:56:00.004-06:00

On the heels of Carl Sagan's "The Demon-Haunted World," I've started in on Roger Zelazny's "Amber" series.

In the meantime, here are some Amber-related scribbles from previous posts:

Amber series overview--the Corwin books

Amber 01: Nine Princes in Amber; Corwin wakes up with amnesia

Amber 02: The Guns of Avalon; Corwin embarks on a journey of revenge...and to take the Throne of Amber from his brother Eric!

Amber 03: Sign of the Unicorn, where Corwin has the Throne...but does he even want it now?

Comparing...: Magic--Transportation, a look at the magic systems of Amber, Robert Asprin's "MYTH" series, and Lackey's "Valdemar."

Demon-Haunted World, The (Sagan, Carl)

2009-12-31T18:18:00.005-06:00

Rating: 5/5
Year: 1995
Genre: Nonfiction / Science
Read again? Yes.

It took 3-1/2 weeks to get through this one; it's not a quick read, but it's a damn good one. After four crappy B-grade sci-fi books masquerading as readable fiction, I needed something solid. I didn't roll my eyes once or wonder _why_ Sagan would write _this_ this way. His writing is friendly, approachable, every bit like his presentation in "Cosmos."

"World" is an indictment of the state of scientific literacy and critical thinking in the United States and (to a lesser extent) the rest of the world. It should be required reading for any teacher or administrator--but for that to happen we'd have to clear the anti-science kooks out of the system.

His prose is eminently quotable:

If we teach only the findings and products of science...without communicating its critical method, how can the average person possibly distinguish science from pseudoscience?

Given that a hefty percentage of people in this country believe we were magicked into being just a few thousand years ago; given that a hefty percentage of people in this country claim that the moon landings were faked; given that medical quackery such as accupuncture, chiropractic, and homeopathy are taken seriously...alien abduction...demonic possession...psychic phenomena...ghosts...crop circles...even when the science is THERE and showing these things to be wrong...even then, people buy into it whole-hog.

Why?

It has to start with education. Sagan voices concern that this country will become an information economy, with its industries moved offshore--the things we need if we are to prosper, let alone survive, as a scientific power, whilst the navel-gazers sit and watch Oprah, letting their critical faculties wither and die.

[I think we've long since been headed in that direction. Our politicians and their corporate pals have been selling off chunks of our industrial base for decades: home electronics in the 1970's and '80s, the clothing industry in the '90s. Did you know the VCR was developed by an American company? Did you know that they didn't see how to make a quick profit, so they sold it to Japanese interest? Did you notice that no American company ever manufactured a VCR? How much of the clothing you buy is even made in America?

For all their talk about buying American, conservatives never did anything to bring that industry back home, did they? No, they waved their flags and proclaimed their devotion to them--without checking to see whether those flags were Made in Taiwan. --J.]

He delves into the similarities between today's "alien abductions" and tales of demonic interference in human lives from centuries past:

...sexually obsessive non-humans who live in the sky, walk through walls, communicate telepathically, and perform breeding experiments on the human species."

He discusses education and how the simple act of reading led a slave named Frederick Bailey into freedom. He changed his name, then: Frederick Douglass became one of the greatest political leaders, writers and speakers in American history. He was an advisor to President Lincoln. How cool is that?

Sagan details the _need_ for critical thought--and then he takes us to a principal cause for the lack of it: the schools. He reprints letters, some barely literate, in which he is criticized for "bashing" America. There's no problem! We need gawd in the schools! The ACLU is the problem! Socialism!

Sagan wonders why excelling in science is "elitist"...yet varsity sports--the "best of the best"--is not.

And there's more, so much more to "The Demon-Haunted World." Hypnosis, religious whack-jobs, crop-circle kooks, psychics, ghosts, witch-hunts.

As I said before, this is not a fast read; there's a density to his narrative that makes me want to read "Contact" (also by Sagan) to see how his fiction works. Sagan doesn't swamp the reader with science and equations, nor does he hold your hand and condescend.

American Lighthouses (Krutein, Wernher)

2009-12-28T21:38:00.003-06:00

Rating: 5/5
Year: 2008
Genre: Photography / Lighthouses
Read again? Yes

Another bargain-bin beauty. Ten bucks.

This book's a lot thinner than it should be, at just over 140 pages. But it's got plenty of spectacular photos of lighthouses in natural poses.

Krutein's got a damn good eye; he shot all the pics, and there's not a bad one in the lot.

We begin in the Northeast and Great Lakes, then move down the East Coast to Key west, Florida; then along the Gulf Coast to Texas--but there's no pause at Mobile, Alabama, where the Sand Island light guards the entrance to Mobile Bay; there's no Middle Bay light, either. We skip right past the Biloxi, Mississippi light, still standing in the midst of traffic on Highway 90.

I would have loved to see my favorite: the St. George Reef light, too, but on our trip north along the West Coast, we pause at Crescent City's on-shore light without a glimpse of this granite beast 6 miles out in the Pacific.

Even with the "missing" items, this is a gorgeous book.

Lighthouses (Linford, Jenny)

2009-12-28T20:43:00.005-06:00

Rating: 5/5
Year: 2006
Genre: Photography
Read again? Yes

I'm STILL not done with Sagan's "Demon Haunted World." So in the meantime, lighthouses.

I found this one in the bargain bin for eight bucks.

I'm not a devoted lighthouse hunter, but they are beautiful buildings, usually in beautiful and/or spectacular settings, and if you can get a sunrise, sunset, clouds or fog somewhere in the shot you've got photographic gold.

This book is gold.

Linford offers nearly 200 pages from around the world (mostly Europe and the U.S.): sunsets, crashing waves, rocky cliffs, snow, mountains.

Come for the architecture, but stay for the view!

Top Ten Sucky Books of 2009

2009-12-25T00:19:00.003-06:00

As long as we're looking at the top books, might as well look at the bottom.

10. Back to the Future (George Gipe)

9. Back to the Future II (Craig Shaw Gardner)

8. Aliens (Alan Dean Foster)

7. Splinter of the Mind's Eye (Alan Dean Foster)

6. Alien (Alan Dean Foster)

5. Han Solo and the Lost Legacy (Brian Daley)

4. Han Solo's Revenge (Brian Daley)

3. Han Solo at Star's End (Brian Daley)

2. Tregarde 03: Jinx High (Mercedes Lackey)

1. Valdemar 07: Brightly Burning (Mercedes Lackey)

Bonus:
0. Star Trek #65--Windows on a Lost World (V E Mitchell) It took a lot to out-suck Lackey's offering. Congratulations to Mitchell for writing the worst book of 2009!

Top Ten books of 2009

2009-12-25T00:04:00.003-06:00

Everyone else seems to be making lists and I'm STILL reading Carl Sagan's "Demon Haunted World" after nearly 3 weeks.

10. Final Approach (John J. Nance)

9. Surely You're Joking, Mr. Feynman! (Richard Feynman)

8. Star Trek: Imzadi (Peter David)

7. 2010: Odyssey 2 (Arthur C. Clarke)

6. 2001: A Space Odyssey (Arthur C. Clarke)

5. Valdemar 12: Exile's Valor (Mercedes Lackey)

4. Valdemar 11: Exile's Honor (Mercedes Lackey)

3. God Is Not Great (Christopher Hitchens; audiobook)

2. The Jungle (Upton Sinclair; audiobook)

...and even though I'm still working at it:

1. The Demon-Haunted World (Carl Sagan)

The Apollo 11 Moon Landing: 40th Anniversary Photographic Retrospective (Jenkins, Dennis & Frank, Jorge)

2009-12-15T21:05:00.004-06:00

Rating: 5/5
Year: 2009
Genre: History / Space
Read again? Yes

I was disappointed by the lack of proper attention given to the 40th anniversary of a couple of guys walking on the FREAKING MOON.

There should have been a years' worth of build-up, partying and meet-ups galore, and carryings-on fit to drown out the moonie idiots who say it never happened. The Onion did a pretty good job of summarizing how excited everyone should have been. Seriously.

Nobel Peace Prize Winner President Obama should have at least held a press conference on July 21, 2009 to say, "My fellow Americans...40 years ago, man walked on the f*cking MOON!!!"

I wasn't even 2 years old when Armstrong and Aldrin (in that order) set foot on the airless regolith a quarter-million miles away from everything we know on Earth. These two men did what's still the coolest thing ever--at least until the later missions where some other guys drove a freaking dune buggy on the moon.

HERE'S your "ultimate driving machine," you BMW losers.

On to the book. It's not a coffee-table photo album, but it makes up for its small size in the quality of the pictures. Most of them are in glossy full color and show excellent detail--more than enough to serve as a detailing guide for a model builder, and plenty for a space geek to drool over.

The narrative takes us from the beginnings of the Apollo program to the days after the astronauts' return home, where they were quarantined in a modified Airstream camper.

As much as I love the space shuttles--they were "my" space ships, as the Apollo craft were for older kids who were lucky enough to see those missions--I gotta say, the Apollo ships and their missions are a damn sight higher up the "awesome" scale.

They went to the FREAKING MOON. 'Nuff said. Great book.

Ansel Adams: Landscapes of the American West (Morgan-Griffiths, Lauris)

2009-12-15T19:45:00.003-06:00

Rating: 5/5
Year: 2008
Genre: Art / Photography
Read Again? Yup

Since it's taking so long to get through the current read (Carl Sagan's "Demon Haunted World), I need to fill in some space.

This book will fill in a lot of space. It's big. An inch-thick hardcover that weighs a couple of pounds and at won't fit on any bookshelf you've got!

It needs to be big. It's overflowing with 120 of Adams' gorgeous black & white landscapes, clouds, structures, plants, and water photos. The Grand Canyon. Yellowstone Lake. Burned trees in Glacier National Park. Every picture is crisp, distilled to the essentials.

I got a good deal on it--$20 in a bargain bin, in the year it was published. As eye-popping as Adams' work is, that feels almost criminal.

Splinter of the Mind's Eye (Foster, Alan Dean)

2009-11-29T18:46:00.004-06:00

Rating: 3
Year: 1978
Genre: Sci / Star Wars
Read again? Ask me in 10 years.

I took nearly 5 pages of notes for this one. Woof.

This was the first "Star Wars" spin-off book to pop up after the original movie. I ate it up, like many "Star Wars"-hungry kids of the time. I suppose Foster--and Brian Daley, with his "Han Solo" books--knew their audience. At least, I hope they were deliberately writing for 11-year-olds. It would explain a few things.

As with Daley's "Solo" books, you won't find "Star Wars" anywhere in or on the book, just the "from the Adventures of Luke Skywalker" note beneath the title. But you know it's SW because it's got SW words--Luke Skywalker! Princess Leia! R2-D2! C-3PO!

And Darth Vader!

That was all this 11-year-old needed.

Luke & Leia are sneaking from the outskirts of the Circarpous system to a meeting with possible Rebel sympathizers on the 4th planet. Instead of them driving something sensible like a shuttle or courier ship, Luke's in his trusty X-Wing (with Artoo) and Leia's flying a Y-Wing (with 3PO).

Leia's ship develops convenient engine trouble and they make a forced landing on ~~Dagobah~~ Circarpous V, aka Mimban, a swampy, slimy mudhole that Yoda would love. Both ships are wrecked (convenient lightning-like disruption in the upper atmosphere), and the four of them make their way to a landing beacon, hoping for passage off-planet.

They find an Imperial mining colony, complete with Stormtroopers and rowdy miners. Luke & Leia steal some clothes and try to fit in. They meet an old woman and strike a deal with her: help her find the fabled Kaiburr crystal, she'll help them steal a ship.

Howlers:
--Leia's engine trouble is in her upper-right engine...on a Y-Wing? They only HAVE two engines. I'm not gonna be out-geeked by this hack!

--The lightning-like disruption doesn't damage Artoo, even though the droid's exposed outside Luke's ship.

--Landing beacon, colony--but no one picked up all the radio chatter between Luke & Leia before and during the crisis. After he crashes, Luke refrains from yelling while he looks for Leia--might attract attention.

--The Big Battle near the end features a primitive tribe of critters that demolish a company of Stormtroopers without using energy weapons. The Coway aren't ewoks, but the parallels between this and "Jedi" are amusing. Obviously (if we take this book as canon) the Empire didn't learn a thing from the encounter.

--The Kaiburr crystal: a honking big glowing ruby that magnifies the Force. And we never see it again once the book's done.

This is another B-grade sci-fi book like Daley's "Han Solo" trio and the horrible epic series "New Jedi Order." The plot doesn't twist much at all, and we plod half-awake from situation to situation--oh, look, they're gonna crash. Oh, she fell into quicksand. Look, Stormtroopers. Oh, now she fell through a hole in the ground. That guy's gonna kill Luke. Oh no, Stormtroopers are coming. Hey, that's that Darth Vader guy, he's not very nice. What? The book's done? Yay.

Where Daley relies on the longer words in his thesaurus to remind us that he's being sophisticated, Foster tends to go for word-count.

Characterization isn't great; Leia is just the girl-in-distress, screaming and crying hysterically at times. She gets mad at Luke after the crash-landing for not pulling a miracle out of his ass and saving the mission...WHOSE ship had engine trouble? Then she gets mad at him for being right about not trying to land on Mimban. She gets mad a lot. She does the Space Bitch thing a lot. Meh.

Foster DOES play lightly with the sexual tension between pre-sibling Luke and Leia (remember, it's not until "Return of the Jedi" that we learn about that), but they still never do more than exhange significant stares. There was some attempt at character development, but none of them are interesting people for the reader to identify with.

Dialog is laughable at best; none of the Big Names sounds like him- or herself. They all sound like Foster's writing.

If you want GOOD "Star Wars," find Timothy Zahn's "Thrawn" books--a trilogy and a pair--and skip this one.

Solo 02--Han Solo's Revenge (Daley, Brian)

2009-11-26T22:30:00.004-06:00

Rating: 3
Year: 1979
Genre: Sci-Fi / Star Wars
Read Again? In a decade, perhaps

Second in the Han Solo set.

No dusty encrustations decorate his thesaurus: Daley the syllable-smith forges onward!

This is the most complex of the three books; Solo and Chewie each get their own plotlines! Beyond that, it's a straight line "B" book like the other two.

They start off on Kamar, showing travel movies to the natives...when the natives become restless, Solo decides to put in a "blind" offer--pilot and ship need work, no questions asked.

They get a contact, show up, and soon find that they're expected to give some slavers and their "cargo" a ride. Firefight, k'pew, k'pew, bad guys die, Han decides to go to the slavers' contact on Bonadan: someone owes him and Chewie 10,000 credits!

The slavers are waiting. Another fight, slash slash, Chewie and Solo split up--the Wookiee in the Millennium Falcon, Han with his new gal-pal on a slow boat--all headed to Ammuud, the next planet in line. Solo still doesn't have the money, and the slavers are still after him!

On top of all this, a skip-tracer from a collections agency has tracked the Falcon to Bonadan and intends to take the ship as payment for money Han owes someone else. This character's pretty lame as Space Critters go. Remember--it's Sci-Fi, so we have to have anthropomorphized animals-as-people; Lucas gave us Space Mice, Space Trees, Space Wolves, Space Twin Sisters, Space Walruses (Walri?), Space Yaks, Space Squids, Space Goats, and Space Teddy Bears....

Daley gives us...the Space Otter. Or maybe it's a Space Seal. Space Otter sounds better. Spray (get it? Aquatic critter, watery name? ha, ha) is buck-toothed, near-sighted, talks with a lifp around thofe bfig teef. This is supposed to be the comic relief, since Spray stays with Chewie and the Falcon--you've got that whole big, hairy wookie/small Space Otter "Odd Couple" thing...meh.

That's the thing, here. Daley doesn't use ANY of these elements to advantage. Han and the women in all three books don't really have a lot of developed sexual tension to push the characters along. They're set-dressing, all equally anonymous and generic, all pale reflections of Princess Leia.

The various Space Critters--a pair of humanoid Space Cats in "Star's End," the Space Otter here, and the Space Caterpillar in "Lost Legacy"--are underdeveloped, not particularly interesting or funny. They're just boring 2-dimensional people like the other characters, only they're funny-looking.

This is also the book that introduces what has become my least-favorite "Star Wars" critter name: howlrunner. No matter what planet we're on (or what planet someone's from), "howlrunner" is the standard "Star Wars" name for a wolf. Given that most of the language is "translated" for us in the narrative...why not just call it a wolf, or "the wolf-like [alien-sounding name]"?

There are some notable howlers--other than Space Wolves--in the story. Chewie is forced to make a high-altitude mountain landing; while he's setting up a sensor on a nearby ridge, there's a stampede of Space Cattle--and they're getting dangerously close to him! So our Wookiee McGyver builds himself a hang glider!

Yes. A hang glider.

From the corpse of a pterosaur, the sensor tripod, some clamps, and some cable!

He glides too far...face-plants into the nearby lake...and Space Otter is there! Chewie is saved!!

You can safely skip all three of these books. But it's good news for Alan Dean Foster: He's not the worst "Star Wars" writer anymore. This is subject to change, because I'm considering reading his ghost-written "Star Wars" novelization. I haven't cracked it open in more than 20 years, and I remember really disliking it.

Quickie: A History of Florida Forts (de Quesada, Alejandro)

2009-11-22T18:27:00.004-06:00

Rating: 4
Year: 2006
Genre: History/Forts
Read again? (still reading)

I'm all about forts, especially those built along the Coastal U.S. in the aftermath of the War of 1812. But any fort is cool with me.

I got this book in May 2007 during a visit to the Castillo de San Marcos in St. Augustine. I started in on it, but didn't get very deep in, so this'll be a "quickie" review.

There's a wealth of information in its 200 pages, and plenty of half-tone black & white photos and illustrations. The book's divided into four large chapters:

1. The Colonial Era
2. The Territorial Era and Seminole Wars
3. The Civil War
4. The Modern Era

I seem to remember that the reading was dry, but in fairness it's been nearly 2 years, so I need to start over.

Solo 03--Han Solo and the Lost Legacy (Daley, Brian)

2009-11-22T18:07:00.003-06:00

Rating: 3
Year: 1980
Genre: Sci-Fi/Star Wars
Read again? In another decade

Ooops. I read 'em out of order. This is the third in the set that isn't so much a trilogy as three stand-alone stories.

Daley's back at the thesaurus for this third Solo book, filling in the syllables to let us know that we're reading Science Fiction, not your common dimestore paperback.

Han and Chewie are in the Tion Hegemony, a galactic backwater, having skipped out of the Corporate Sector. Times are bad, business is slow, and they end up working as pit crew for an arrogant air-show flyer. Then they get an offer: ship some educational materials to a university on another world.

It turns out they were recommended by an old pal, Badure, who has a line on something big--a treasure vault containing the last hoard of tributes to Xim the Despot (I wonder if he called himself that?). This is Science Fiction, so we have to have a history expert who just happens to be a Space Caterpillar. He's seeking his fortune and glory before he becomes a Space Butterfly (but Daley calls that a "chromawing").

Badure also warns Solo that he's being stalked by the notorious assassin Gallandro, fastest gun in the galaxy, who has a score to settle.

Then there's the army of Xim's war robots, talking dinosaurs, and Daley's thesaurus, which should be names as a character itself.

Marginally better than "Star's End," but still firmly on the "B" list; Daley's plots flow right downstream with few twists or turns. His characters are simply there, barely fleshed out, not particularly compelling--and they all sound alike.

But it's Daley's narrative style that suffers the most; those extra syllables don't make the prose seem sophisticated, just clumsy.

Solo 01--Han Solo at Star's End (Daley, Brian)

2009-11-17T08:05:00.007-06:00

Rating: 3
Year: 1979
Genre: Sci-Fi/Star Wars
Read Again? In another 10 years

First of the original Han Solo trilogy.

I devoured this book and the other "Star Wars" tie-ins over that long, dark time between the original "Star Wars" and "The Empire Strikes Back." That 12-year-old me couldn't get enough--Lucas' brainchild was in my blood, no matter that I was maybe 18 months later than every other kid on the planet in seeing the original.

This is pre-franchise "Star Wars." You won't find those two words anywhere on the book. There's just a little tag under the title letting you know that it's from the Adventures of Luke Skywalker.

But it has Han Solo! It's got Chewbacca the Wookiee! It's got the Millennium Falcon! It's got other "Star Wars" words! But there's no Empire, no Luke Skywalker, no Jabba the Hutt. Han and Chewie are in the Corporate Sector, where the government places profit above everything else.

After the Falcon takes some damage on a smuggling run, Han & Chewie seek out an old friend: Doc, the leader of a...consortium of enterprise-minded ship techs, who can and will do most anything, no questions asked, for the right price. "Outlaw-techs," as Daley calls them. But Doc's not there--he disappeared months ago, leaving his daughter Jessa to run the family business.

Jessa is happy to make the repairs; all Han has to do is go to a meet-spot, pick up some people, and take them where they need to go. The meet-spot is a Corporate Sector data center; the people are looking for information about missing relatives, "disappeared" as undesirables. Their first passenger is a droid, Bollux, and its little super-computer pal Blue Max. We have to have comic relief, right?

The mission goes well enough at first. Han & Chewie meet their contact, they get into the data center, Max finds the information they need, the rest of the team shows up, and it's time for a firefight and daring escape!

Yeah, almost. Before they can escape, Chewie is nabbed by the security guys--and now he's "disappeared" too.

As with Alan Dean Foster's "Alien" books, Daley's got a style peppered with expensive syllables, since apparently that's what makes something science-fictiony. Why say "work and play" when you can have "toil and enjoyment"? Why use a simple lock when "impoundment fastener" has 5 more syllables? When you tell time in Daley's "Star Wars" (and others', since many of his ideas are aped by later writers), you don't use hours. You use "Standard Time-Parts," with the capitals intact. Even the wordy Mercedes Lackey tells time in candlemarks. One less syllable, yes--but less clunky.

Yeah, yeah, I know Daley--and others who write like this--are trying to tech it up, use more "sophisticated" language, but it feels fake and clunky and doesn't really add anything of substance to the narrative. Solo comes off at times sounding like some upper-class professor rather than the fast-talkin' wise-ass.

"Star's End" isn't Great Literature, doesn't explore the histories of its main characters, and doesn't make them grow into better beings. It has the benefit of being better than anything George Lucas has done in the past 20 years, so that's worth something.

Confederacy of Dunces, A (Toole, J K)

2009-11-08T18:47:00.006-06:00

Rating: 4
Year: 1980
Genre: Satire/Farce/Comedy
Read Again? In a few years

This one's hard to write; it took nearly 2 weeks to read--and it's not that long a book. It doesn't drag, there's plenty of humor along the way, and Toole's writing is easy to get along with. He has a good feel for character, an ear for dialect in early 1960's New Orleans, and a solid grasp of what it takes to spin out various threads in a story, then tie them all up at the end without holding the reader's hand and explaining every single thing.

But I'm having trouble, here. Most of it is that I had my head full of Upton Sinclair's "The Jungle" audiobook. The rest is that the main character, Ignatius Reilly, is about as unlikable as one human being can be. He's a seriously odd duck. He's fat, with blue and yellow eyes (liver problems?), passes gas freely from both ends, and has a funk about him from various personal habits. He fills notebook after notebook with stuff like this:

"With the breakdown of the Medieval system, the gods of Chaos, Lunacy, and Bad Taste gained ascendancy." Ignatius was writing in one of his Big Chief tablets. "After a period in which the western world had enjoyed order, tranquility, unity, and oneness with its True God and Trinity, there appeared winds of change which spelled evil days ahead. An ill wind blows no one good. The luminous years of Abelard, Thomas a Becket, and Everyman dimmed into dross; Fortuna's wheel had turned on humanity, crushing its collarbone, smashing its skull, twisting its torso, puncturing its pelvis, sorrowing its soul. Having once been so high, humanity fell so low. What had once been dedicated to the soul was now dedicated to the sale."

But he actually TALKS like that, too:

"My nerves!" Ignatius said. He was slumped down in the seat so that just the top of his green hunting cap appeared in the window, looking like the tip of a promising watermelon. From the rear, where he always sat, having read somewhere that the seat next to the driver was the most dangerous, he watched his mother's wild and inexpert shifting with disapproval. "I suspect that you have effectively demolished the small car that someone innocently parked behind this bus. You had better succeed in getting out of this spot before its owner happens along."

It reminds me of Sherlock Holmes, for some reason, but never was there a Holmesian story that felt so much like an extended episode of "M*A*S*H"; as with the show, there are a couple of reasonably sane characters surrounded by insanity. The sanest of them all is a young black man (Burma Jones) who sits in the background and watches all the craziness: Ignatius organizing co-workers in a revolt against a "tyrannical" employer; a low-end bar owner who produces pornographic postcards; an elderly man who fancies Ignatius' mother; Ignatius selling hot dogs on Bourbon Street, dressed as a pirate.

The other sane one is Gus Levy, owner of the Levy Pants factory. He hates the company his overbearing father left him; his wife hates him for this, and is little more than a constantly-scheming ridicule machine bent on undermining Gus and alienating his daughters from him. It's his company Ignatius tries to free the workers from--so of course Mrs. Levy decides Ignatius must be some sort of heroic idealist.

Ignatius' mother grows the most in the story; in the beginning, Irene is Ignatius' doormat, hiding in a cheap-wine stupor. But she makes a friend who convinces her to stand up for herself.

It's a fun read, but not a challenging one. You're not going to get deep thoughts and learn arcane things, here.

Jungle, The (Sinclair, Upton)

2009-11-08T18:11:00.004-06:00

Rating: 5
Year: 1906 (audiobook, 1994)
Genre: Fiction
Read Again? Yes

A masterfully-told story of a Lithuanian immigrant and his in-laws who are lured to Chicago's Packingtown.

Jurgis Rudkus starts out an optimistic man, full of the hope of the American Dream. He soon realizes that the entire system in Packingtown is arrayed against him and all the other workers. Wages are kept low, the hours are brutally long, and once you're in the system, there's no way out unless you know how to get in with the higher-ups. It's every man for himself.

Jurgis can't understand why every man he meets hates the job, hates the company, hates most of their co-workers, the bosses, the town. All he wants to do is have an honest job, and provide for his family. They pool their meager resources together and put a down-payment of $300 on a house. Their agent only tells them that they'll be paying $12 per month--and once the total of $1500 is paid off, it's theirs. They soon find that it's a trap. The agent didn't mention interest, taxes, or property improvement fees. He didn't tell them that being late on a full monthly payment plus interest will get them kicked out to the street.

We see the family ground down, near-starving in winter when the work is slack, scrabbling for pennies to put onto the next house payment, and working in horrible conditions where a small injury can put a worker on the street, his place taken up by someone fit and healthy. It's an awful, squalid world Jurgis and his family live in; Sinclair compares people to trees fighting for the tiniest amount of sunlight, only to fall like dead branches when winter comes.

It took nearly two weeks to get through this 15-hour Audiobook version; the story moved well, tightly-written by Sinclair and adequately narrated by Robert Morris. The only boring part is the last few chapters, when Jurgis stumbles into a Socialist Party meeting while just trying to keep warm. From there we're treated to Utopian preachings from various speakers. It was interesting to see it from the inside, but that's when the book really stopped being about Jurgis and started being about Sinclair's Socialism, with Jurgis as an observer.

Still, I can't take a point for that, since the story was utterly riveting. I look forward to actually reading it the next time, rather than listening to the somewhat odd narration. Robert Morris' reading reminded me of filmstrips and movies in elementary or middle school; he speaks clearly, but there's an odd rhythm in his speech.

The Keep (Wilson, F. Paul)

2009-10-26T21:19:00.005-05:00

Rating: 4
Year: 1981
Genre: Horror
Read again? In a few years.

April 28, 1941. Major Erich Kaempffer of the SS is diverted from his assignment in Ploiesti, Romania: a German army detachment has met with resistance and need reinforcements. Six men are dead. Kaempffer is sent with einsatzkommandos--SS extermination squad troops--to mop up the resistance. He will go from there to establish a death camp in Ploiesti--but he is to pacify the troublemakers first.

Kaempffer is bothered by the message sent from the army commander:

Request immediate relocation.
Something is murdering my men.

April 22, 1941. Captain Klaus Woermann and his men arrive at a small castle in Dinu Pass, in the Transylvanian Alps north of Ploiesti. It's always been known as the Keep, and it's been well-maintained. In contrast to the brooding, dark stone, there are thousands of brass-and-nickel crosses inlaid in the walls. Woermann warns his men against stealing any of them.

A private on guard duty finds a gold-and-silver cross and decides to take it.

Others come to investigate his screams and those of his accomplice. The private is dead, his head torn clean off. His partner in crime is catatonic.

There's a large hole in the wall, stones pushed out: something found its way out.

April 23. The catatonic thief dies, his throat torn out.
April 24. A man on guard duty dies.
April 25. A man on guard duty dies. The guard is doubled.
April 26. A man asleep in his bedroll dies. Everyone on guard duty, all night!
April 27. A man on guard duty dies in plain sight.
April 28. Kaempffer and his kommandos arrive. Two kommandos die. This time, a message is written in blood on the wall where the men were killed.

...and the Nazis' only hope of learning what is killing their men lies in a Jewish scholar.

As the first man dies, a red-haired man realizes that what he's dreaded has come to pass. He makes his way to the Keep....

The story plays out as a version of the vampire legend--Viscount Molasar hung out with Vlad the Impaler; he built the Keep to protect himself from his enemies; he casts no reflection, but silver and garlic aren't a problem; he cowers away from a crucifix, and the name "Jesus" causes him agony.

I remembered liking this book from the last time I read it, maybe 4 years ago. I'd forgotten just about everything, so I can't say whether I was as disappointed by the ending as I am now. Wilson has the red-haired man holding back on all of his important information until shortly before the Big Fight between him and Molasar. Everything we'd been led to think about the evil creature turns out to be wrong--and it feels cheap, or maybe just clumsily-executed. Still, it's much better than the movie Michael Mann made of it in 1983.

God Is Not Great (Hitchens, Christopher)

2009-10-26T20:36:00.004-05:00

Rating: 5
Year: 2007
Genre: Religion; Atheism
Read Again? Yes (audiobook)

The only thing better than reading this book is having the author read it to you. Hitchens' calm, measured voice delivers a series of stinging indictments of each of the Big Three monotheist religions, but seems most intent on Catholicism.

He leads us far and wide: Muslims wigging out over some cartoons in 2006; Orthodox Jews wigging out over people doing things on Sabbath day; a Pope's complicity in the torture and murder of millions, then aiding and abetting the escape of known torturers and murderers after WW2; and the making of a star in 1969, soon known to the world as Mother Teresa.

Hitchens further discusses the chief claims of religious apologists "against" atheism--claims I see nearly daily in the alt.atheism newsgroup--such as the "atheistic" regimes of Hitler, Stalin, and other totalitarian regimes. He points out that totalitarianism is fundamentalism, with the state--and, by definition, the leader of that state--taking the position of the object of worship.

Not that anything in this book will de-convert the hard-headed, determined believer who is already possessed of The Truth. This isn't Hitchens' goal; only thinking readers need approach.

I'm looking forward to getting the actual book soon; the audiobook format lends itself to filling in those long, boring stretches of time known as "work," but I couldn't stop to take notes when Hitchens made a point I would have liked to scribble about.

On a Beam of Light (Brewer, Gene)

2009-10-26T19:55:00.003-05:00

Rating: 4
Year: 2001
Genre: Comdey/Sci-Fi
Read again? In a few years

prot returns almost to the minute 5 years after his departure for his homeworld of K-PAX. It's August 17, 1995.

Dr. Brewer had concluded that prot was no alien, but rather an alternate personality created by Robert Porter to defend himself against traumatic situations--first, when his father died, then when he was molested by his "uncle," and most recently--in August of 1985--when his wife and daughter were murdered. When prot left at the end of "K-PAX," Robert became catatonic, curled up on a bed, unresponsive to any stimulus.

Now, prot/Robert has awakened, and prot announces that this time he's leaving for good--and he's willing to take 100 people with him! Brewer only has a few weeks to bring Robert closer to a cure. As he investigates Robert's background and gets more and more of his story from the man himself, Brewer finds that there are more than just Robert and prot living in there:

Robert--the innocent.
prot--the alien pal, calm, rational, highly intelligent.
Harry--the protector; he killed the man who killed Robert's family.
Paul--the lover; because of the molestation by his uncle, Robert is seriously messed-up where sex is concerned.

In the meantime, everyone wants to talk to prot--the CIA, biologists, astronomers, and people who want to go to K-PAX. Is he really just an alternate persona? If he is, what happened to the woman who left with him at the end of the last book? Why is there a slight difference in DNA in the blood samples taken from prot and Robert?

As with the first, a light and fun read.

K-PAX (Brewer, Gene)

2009-10-17T19:18:00.003-05:00

Rating: 4
Year: 1995
Genre: Sci-Fi/Comedy
Read Again? In another few years

Time for that Lackey-free zone again.

Gene Brewer--as Dr. Gene Brewer, a head mechanic--narrates his story of a pleasant-seeming man in his thirties who becomes a patient at the Manhattan Psychiatric Institute. He's known only as "prot" (rhymes with "goat") and claims to be from one of the stars in the Lyra constellation. His WORLD is K-PAX (prot has such disdain for humanity, he does not capitalize names--but his respect for stellar objects is such that he renders them all-caps).

prot was picked up by the New York Police Department after he was found standing over a mugging victim. Brewer schedules one session a week, on Wednesdays, and the book's chapters are numbered accordingly.

Brewer learns that prot and his fellow X-PAXians live in Utopian conditions: the weather is always pleasant; there is no crime; everyone provides for everyone else; a typical life is 1,000 years; there is no pollution, no one eats animals, and sex doesn't drive anyone to misbehave or harm others. When asked how his people travel the vast distances of interstellar space, prot smiles condescendingly and tells him it's done with mirrors.

By the 5th Session, Brewer learns that prot is leaving for K-PAX on August 17th, 1990 (less than 3 months away), at 3:31 a.m. precisely. This gives us a clock to watch: Will Brewer figure out what's happening in prot's head and find out who he really is?

"K-PAX" isn't a sci-fi story in the typical vein; we don't see any flashy technology or travel to other worlds--we just have prot's word that it's real, and all done with mirrors.

I like Brewer's style--spare, straightforward, conversational, like a friend over coffee instead of the author-as-performer. His humor isn't screamingly funny, but it's not forced like Lackey's sometimes feels. The story's engaging. It's not Great Literature--but it doesn't try to pretend that it is anything more.

Valdemar 20: Winds of Fury (Lackey)

2009-10-11T18:13:00.003-05:00

Rating: 5
Year: 1993
Genre: Fantasy
Read again? Yes

The 20th book. Third in the "Mage Winds" trilogy. Six. Six! SIX more books left, but after this one I'm taking a break, considering that I've done 10 Lackey books in a row.

We begin with King Ancar of Hardorn. He's been at war with Valdemar for a decade and is fed up with his lack of progress. He's been learning magic, but his teacher has been holding out on him, and he's fed up with her, as well. When the evil, cat-like Mornelithe Falconsbane falls at his feet after a dangerous experiment, Ancar can't believe his good fortune. He wastes no time getting controlling spells into place--and now Ancar has an Adept--and through Falconsbane, the power he's always wanted.

Next, we return to Elspeth as she and her merry band prepare to leave the Vale, finally headed back to Valdemar to start protecting her country from Ancar's depradations. They get hijacked by an old friend of ours: Herald-Mage Vanyel, whose body died centuries ago (in a battle with Leareth, a previous incarnation of Falconsbane), but whose ghost protects the northern border of Valdemar. After some important plot points are laid in, they finally get back to the capital and get to work training new mages.

And now, our third major character, An'desha. It seems that this young Shin'a'in lad owns the body that Falconsbane has been living in for several decades. And now things are happening that might get him that body back. All An'desha has to do is feed information about Falconsbane to representatives of his Goddess, who will get that info to the folks in Valdemar who need it.

This book went by a lot more quickly than the previous two did. The only real nitpick I have is with a pretty important plot point. Just before the big confrontation at the end, we're told that Nyara--Falconsbane's daughter--is able to bear children. It's used as a reason for the good guys to destroy his spirit before he can be reborn. Okay, okay, fine--but Nyara was established as unable to have children in the previous book.

I won't kill any points over that, though; not because I'm being nice, but because I know how hard it is to keep plot points and details straight over several years of writing, even between just two books in a series, or even between chapters. All things considered, Lackey has done a good job keeping the story going.

All the same, I'm glad to be nearly done with the series. It's one thing to read-and-forget, but blogging about it makes me have to think about what I'm reading.

Valdemar 19: Winds of Change (Lackey)

2009-10-04T16:32:00.004-05:00

Rating: 4
Year: 1993
Genre: Fantasy
Read again? Yes.

Number 19, with 7 left. Second in the "Mage Winds" Elspeth trilogy.

We begin with Elspeth and Skif being adopted into the Tayledras Clan they've been helping. Everyone's happy--they all think (wishfully) that the evil mage who's been harrassing the Clan for a decade and more is dead. We learn that the Tayledras--the "Brothers of the Hawk"--were set by their Goddess to cleanse the lands of twisted magic and creatures, to make it safe for regular people to move in and live their lives.

We follow Nyara, the cat-like woman, daughter of the evil Mornelithe Falconsbane (Mornelithe: hatred-that-returns). She has found a hiding place where the talking magic sword Need can train her without disturbance.

Skif goes off with Darkwind's brother Wintermoon (yeah, all of the Tayledras have names like that) to find Nyara, for he's in moon-eyed love with her.

Elspeth and Darkwind begin training in magic.

Falconsbane isn't dead. He's resting, and brooding upon revenge. We learn that he's the latest incarnation of the evil Ma'ar, the Mage of Black Fire, supposedly destroyed in the Cataclysm. Ma'ar had an escape plan: he hid his spirit away, waiting for a suitable descendant to try simple magic that would trigger Ma'ar's return. He would possess the body, destroy its owner's spirit, and continue with his evil plans (Total World Domination, and all that). One of his incarnations was Leareth--whom Herald Vanyel fought to the death in the "Last Herald Mage" trilogy.

A better book than the one before; the pacing is a bit tighter and there aren't as many continuity problems in the story as there were in the first one. Plenty of fussy little Lackeyisms, but I should be used to those by now.

Valdemar 18: Winds of Fate (Lackey, M)

2009-09-24T08:07:00.009-05:00

Rating: 3.5
Year: 1991
Genre: Fantasy
Read again? Yes

Book 18 of Valdemar, with 8 left. *whew*

This is the first in the trilogy about Herald Elspeth (the Brat from the Talia books). She's in her late 20's, now. There are two primary characters in this one.

Elspeth comes to realize that Valdemar needs mages if the country is to fight off Ancar of Hardorn (since the third book of Talia, more than a decade has passed--they've been fighting a holding action ever since). After weeks of trying to get her mother--Queen Selenay--to allow her to go mage-hunting, Elspeth finally wins (with some manipulative help from the Companions). Before she leaves, Kerowyn brings her the magic sword Need, which has chosen Elspeth as its new bearer. Elspeth and Skif go south into Rethwellan. They continue south and finally wind up at Kata'shin'a'in, the trade-city of the Shin'a'in nomads--

At this point, Need awakens and tells her story--she was a mage-smith thousands of years ago who forged her spirit into the sword. She's been "asleep" for quite some time, but something about Kerowyn and Elspeth woke her up, and now she's a regular character.

--only to be sent across a stretch of the Plains to a place where the mysterious, mythic Hawk-brothers--the Tayledras--might help them...

We also follow (in parallel) Darkwind, an emo-ish Tayledras scout who was once a powerful mage. He blames himself for the destruction of his Clan's Heartstone, the thing that gives the Tayledras their power. He foreswore all magic and lives outside the Clan's Vale. The Clan's territory is threatened from outside by a crafty evil mage, and it takes all Darkwind and his Scouts can muster to keep him or her at bay (See "Shin'a'in & Tayledras" Quickie for some background).

Then a cat-girl, Elspeth, Skif, the talking sword, and their spirit-horses fall in his lap--and things get complicated.

I took off a half-point almost as soon as I started to read, after running headlong into some glaring continuity problems:

Skif's background: she claims Skif learned thieving from his uncle. But in "Take a Thief," his uncle is a tavern owner, not a professional thief; Skif learns his craft from an elderly man who runs a small ring with boys Skif's age.

Elspeth's training--she doesn't know how to repair armor? This is something she'd have picked up as a Trainee, and before that, when Talia was a Trainee and Elspeth hung out with her ("Arrows of the Queen").

Elspeth's mother's attitudes toward her learning street-fighting like Skif. Elspeth learned to fight before she was Chosen--she trained in the same styles Talia did--and both of them learned Skif's style because Alberich wanted them to ("Arrows of the Queen"). She even has Elspeth being forbidden to learn such things. Heh.

There are more, but after a point even I get tired of nitpicking.

The book opens with Elspeth being taught to use whatever is handy as a weapon--and she's played as unusually dense, not understanding that self-defense would include using anything at one's disposal--as if Alberich wouldn't have included such lessons in the dirty fighting she supposedly didn't receive. Herald Kerowyn is concerned that Elspeth--the Heir to the throne--could face assassination attempts. Apparently this was never a concern before, if no one taught Elspeth this kind of stuff before--or maybe it's just a set-up?

Damned if someone doesn't happen to try an assassination attempt within just a few pages, and I'm killing another point for such a clumsy, obvious set-up. It would have been better for Lackey to remember Elspeth's training back in the first Talia book and just refer to it as Elspeth is facing down the would-be killer. As it is, this "training" is never used again in the rest of the series, any more than the "archery training that every Herald learns" is seen again outside of the Talia books.

Overall, the book feels like it's longer than its 460 pages. It doesn't drag, but there's a lot going on--and there are two more just as heavy after this one.

And THREE more after those that are just as heavy and busy.

Valdemar 17: By the Sword (Lackey, M)

2009-09-12T16:23:00.004-05:00

Rating: 5
Year: 1991
Genre: Fantasy
Read again? Yes

Number 17, with 9 left. This is the stand-alone story of Herald Kerowyn.

Kerowyn is 17 (I think--maybe 14, but it's muddled) and dissatisfied with her lot in life. Her mother died when she was young, leaving Kero to manage the household. Her father's a retired mercenary, heartbroken years after losing his wife; he barely notices his daughter, other than to criticize her.

When we join the story, Kero is managing an enormous feast, directing servants and making sure each course is delivered on time--much like an officer in war. Very appropriate.

Her brother is to be married; their father insisted on the feast to impress the new in-laws and the other guests.

The party's interrupted by raiders, who hack and slash their way into the Hall, killing indiscriminately, until they reach the bride-to-be. They snatch her and any valuables they can carry. Kero's father lies dead, her brother badly wounded. There's not a fighter on the property left alive or in fighting condition. Kero realizes that it's up to her to go for help; her grandmother, the famous Kethry (of the "Oath" trilogy) lives a few leagues away, long since retired from teaching magic--maybe she can help!

Kero suits up and rides out--and gets help she doesn't expect: her grandmother's magic sword, Need, speaks for her. Before she realizes what's happened, Kero is back on the road, and on the trail of the raiders. The rescue goes well, the girl in distress is saved...and Kero's life is changed. She learns how to fight from Kethry's partner Tarma (also of the "Oath" trilogy), then goes to work as a mercenary.

Then her Company is hired to help Valdemar fend off the massive army of King Ancar of Hardorn--and her life changes again!

Very good story, not so heavy on the fuss and such. For being nearly 500 pages, the story doesn't drag. We get to see and say goodbye to Kethry and Tarma, we're reminded of a pledge made to Valdemar by the King of Rethwellan decades before. For romance lovers, there's the obligatory meeting of the "other half of my soul" not for one or two but for 6 characters:

Kero gets Chosen
Kero gets her man, Herald Eldan
Prince Daren gets Chosen
Prince Daren gets his woman, Queen Selenay

It's not all peace, love and happiness, though: the war with Hardorn is not won. Ancar will attack again and again until he gets what he wants!

Valdemar 16: Arrow's Fall (Lackey, M)

2009-08-29T23:35:00.003-05:00

Rating: 4
Year: 1988
Genre: Fantasy
Read again? Yes

Final Talia book, and 10 left.

Talia is nearly 20; we join her and Kris shortly before they make it to Haven, her 18-month Internship completed.

She's quickly embroiled in the latest issue before Queen Selenay and the Council: King Alessandar of Hardorn has petitioned for Princess Elspeth's hand in marriage to his son, Ancar.

She also has to deal with Herald Dirk. He's the guy she has her eye on, and it's clear that he wants her, but he thinks she wants to be with Kris. There's a big argument--and the three close friends won't have anything to do with each other.

Then Talia gets into another argument with Elspeth after catching her with a dirtbag.

Queen Selenay sees a chance to work a reconciliation: she sends Talia and Kris to Hardorn as envoys to find out what Ancar is like.

Things steadily get worse from there.

In all, the least satisfying of the three. The sitcom-esque misunderstanding between Talia, Kris and Dirk is just ham-handed. The dialogue from the bad guys is horrendous and oh so prissy.

This is the story in which all those conveniences come home to roost (spoilers!):
--Talia's got a tight bond with her Companion that can't be blocked, even by powerful shields.
--Dirk remembers that he can "Fetch" a living person (Fetching is telekenesis, moving things with your mind) just in time for the third act.
--Dirk and Talia are "Lifebonded," which gives him the link to bring her back.

There are some others, but it's not like these are deal-breakers. They're only as clumsy-seeming to me as they are because I've been reading this trilogy since 1995. My reading tastes and attitudes have changed--probably because of George R. R. Martin's "Song of Ice and Fire" books, which make Lackey's Heralds look like happiness-and-sunshine flower children and her bad guys look like bumbling pikers.

Valdemar 15: Arrow's Flight (Lackey, M)

2009-08-29T23:07:00.003-05:00

Rating: 4
Year: 1987
Genre: Fantasy
Read again? Yes

Second in the Talia trilogy, and 11 left.

It's been 5 years since Talia left the Holding. We catch up with her on the day she "graduates" from training--she's earned the right to wear the white uniform of a Herald. But she still faces a period of Internship, wherein she learns to use her training. Only then will she be a Herald and Queen's Own.

An emergency near Valdemar's northern border leads to Talia and her instructor leaving on a moment's notice. But she soon learns that rumors about her are spreading: she abuses her powers, influencing people's moods to get her way. This leads her to obsess over the matter--is she really projecting her feelings on others? Is she influencing her instructor, the angelically-handsome Herald Kris?

Then the worst happens: a killer snowstorm traps them together with no hope of a quick rescue--and her steadily-weakening control over her powers fails!

Like the first book, a good read, aside from those conveniences that get dropped in somewhat clumsily by Lackey for later use in the third book. More satisfying than the first book.

Valdemar 14: Arrows of the Queen (Lackey, M)

2009-08-29T21:36:00.004-05:00

Rating: 4
Year: 1987
Genre: Fantasy
Read again? Yes

First in the Herald Talia trilogy, and 14th in the long, long, long long saga of Valdemar that spans 2,000 years and seems to take as long to read. Twelve more to go...but 7 of these are the thickest of the set. Fortunately, these are the better books. They begin shortly after 1376, the year King Sendar died in battle and his daughter Selenay took the throne--a few years after the events in "Take a Thief," since Skif is still a Trainee.

"Arrows" introduces us to Talia, a 13-year old girl who doesn't quite fit into the culture of the Holding, a farming community where the men own everything. Women have only two choices: marry or pray. Talia doesn't want either choice; she wants to be a Herald. She runs away--and is shortly met by one of those spirit-horse Companions.

She doesn't even realize that she's been Chosen, because the Holderkin don't hold with the ways of Heralds. And no one she meets along the way can tell her what's going on. Convenient, in that it keeps her frightened and confused for the entire chapters-long ride to Haven (the capital of Valdemar).

Once she arrives, she learns that she's to become the new Queen's Own Herald--a sort of "BFF" for the Monarch, advisor, tie-breaker in votes, bodyguard, confidante, and representative. The idea of a Monarch's Own Herald is that there needs to be one person upon whom the person wearing the Crown may depend in all ways, someone who will always be honest and solid.

Her first job--in addition to training to be a Herald--will be to tame the Brat, Queen Selenay's daughter Elspeth.

Her next job is to survive; the people who engineered the murder of the previous Queen's Own quickly get to work on killing her, as well.

As with the first "Oathbound" book, Lackey puts on an affected "fantasy" voice that puts me in mind of the bloody 'orrible Olde Englishe crap they use at a Renfaire, mixed with some fairy-tale. Fortunately she loses it pretty quickly as the story develops. I can see where a new reader might take this "voice" as meaning that this is a kid's book. But by the end of this trilogy, as with the end of the Vanyel trilogy, our main character gets tortured and raped. Not kid stuff.

An issue that I've got with this trilogy is that Lackey seems to take every opportunity to insert a convenience that will conveniently pop up again later; the first two books are riddled with set-ups for rescuing Talia from her captors in the third.

Aside from this (and Lackey's fussy style), a good read.

Valdemar 13: Take a Thief (Lackey, M)

2009-08-16T13:47:00.003-05:00

Rating: 4
Year: 2001
Genre: Fantasy
Read again? Yes

The 13th Valdemar book is lucky! Only 13 to go, unless I've mis-counted again. This stand-alone book tells the story of Herald Skif.

Skif is a little kid who lives in his uncle's lowest-of-the-low-end tavern in Haven. In this book and the two Alberich books that come before it, we get to see that Valdemar isn't really Utopia. There is a dark underbelly in Haven--the capital city--where lives of quiet desperation are the norm and life is cheap. At 10 years old, Skif is an accompished sneak-thief, disguising himself as a page to get food from the rich. Then he gets a chance to turn "pro" as part of a modest ring of three older boys and and old man, first stealing silk and other expensive fabrics, then picking pockets and cutting purses, and then walking the roofs at night.

His friends are murdered by an arsonist. Skif puts his skills to work to learn who the killer is and who hired him.

Then he finds a white horse and sets out to steal it....

Three in a row for Lackey. Like the two Alberich books, she's not writing in her "C-3PO" voice, with the attendant fussiness that goes with it. There's a disconnect, though, in the narrative "voice" that's telling the story as Skif sees it and his own internal voice--the narrative voice is Lackey's, and even though we're seeing things as Skif sees them, we're getting her descriptives and vocabulary, words that the minimally-educated child wouldn't use. Maybe it's just a nitpick.

There are also times when the kid speaks with a much less hick-like, more educated manner, but his thinking is still in broken Valdemaran. It's not clear whether Lackey's trying to show that he's smarter than he lets on--and if that's her intent, it seems like she could have tried it the other way around: better diction when he's thinking to himself, and deliberately-dumbed-down when he's speaking to others. One point off for the nitpicky stuff.

Another bonus: this book didn't drag. We get to the Big Crisis around page 150, but Skif isn't Chosen for more than 100 pages after. Why, oh freakin' WHY, couldn't Lackey have written this well in "Brightly Burning," just a year before?

Valdemar 12: Exile's Valor (Lackey, M)

2009-08-16T13:31:00.003-05:00

Rating: 5
Year: 2003
Genre: Fantasy
Read again? Yes

This is the second of two in the story of Herald Alberich, number 12 with 14 left.

Amazing! Lackey's followup to "Exile's Honor" is good, too!

Less than a year has passed since the death in battle of King Sendar, and the beginning of his daughter's reign. The Council is pushing for Queen Selenay to marry and start breeding heirs, but mostly for her to marry: the Council wants a King, not a Queen who seems just a child to that bunch of creaky old men. But they all seem to forget: No man may be King in Valdemar unless he is also a Herald, and no one becomes a Herald unless they are Chosen by one of those spirit-horses.

Selenay's dear friend, Lord Orthallen, arranges for a Prince from the neighboring country of Rethwellan, to bring his nation's less-formal condolences on the death of King Sendar. Selenay is instantly smitten with this charming, good-looking man.

But Alberich soon finds threads of intrigue in Valdemar, a plot to kill Selenay and take the Throne!

Very good story, and much the better for lacking much of Lackey's "protocol droid" fussiness. Surprisingly, there's only one nickname in the two books together, and it's only seen in this one. The Prince from Rethwellan is named Karathanelan, but everyone just calls him Karath. It's a running joke in the Valdemar books that Rethwellan names are a mouthful, and in this case, the nickname "feels" right, unlike many of the diminutives Lackey hands out for some of the other books.

Valdemar 11: Exile's Honor (Lackey, M)

2009-08-03T20:18:00.004-05:00

Rating: 5
Year: 2002
Genre: Fantasy
Read again? Yes

She's baaaaack.

The 11th novel, 15 to go, first of two telling the story of Herald Alberich.

We're introduced to Alberich in his home country of Karse, on the southern border of Valdemar. The two nations have been in a state of undeclared war for at least 6 centuries. It's about 1,355 years since the Founding of Valdemar; Herald Vanyel's time was around 750 A.F.; Lavan "Brightly sucking" Firestorm burned around 1077 A.F.--and both of those Heralds fought the Karsites.

Karse is controlled by a theocracy built on the worship of Vkandis, the Sun God. Alberich is a newly-promoted captain in their army. We quickly find that he's uneasy in his rank, for that rank will bring closer scrutiny, and he's got a secret that would get him killed should it become known: he can see the future.

Actually, he's got a second secret: it's obvious to readers who've been following the series that the lovely white horse Alberich got with his promotion is one of Valdemar's spirit-horse Companions.

He gets a sudden flash of that ForeSight, a nearly crippling vision of a village about to be captured by the same bandits Alberich and his men have been after for months. He finds himself in the saddle, leading a charge to take the bandits by surprise.

They wipe them out.

The village priest has Alberich arrested--it's plain that he had fore-knowledge of the bandit raid, and such abilities are evil! He's beaten and thrown into a shed, which is set afire. Not much for judicial formalities, those Karsite priests. He thinks you're guilty, you're guilty.

The Companion-in-disguise batters down one wall, gets Alberich on its back, and high-tails it into the north, to Valdemar.

Why couldn't she get "Brightly Burning" to be as good as this? Where that book was boring, "Honor" plays on the fish-out-of-water scenario in a much more interesting manner. Alberich is taught the rudiments of the Valdemaran language, is made Assistant Weaponsmaster (having a Companion makes you trustworthy), then goes to work at night spying on the criminal element. When war finally comes to Valdemar, he joins the King at the front line.

When King Sendar dies, Alberich is there to protect Selenay, the king's daughter, now Queen of Valdemar. This part of the book is powerfully written.

She's not as fussy. This was an entertaining book!

What the hell happened between "Burning" in 2000 and this one in 2002? Was she THAT upset by the impending End of the World on December 31, 1999?

Trouble Is My Business (collection; Chandler, Raymond)

2009-07-29T22:56:00.005-05:00

Overall rating: 4
Year: 1950?
Genre: Crime
Read again? In a few years, maybe.

I'm glad I read it, but I'm not happy that it took a solid month to do so.

The book itself didn't drag; the killer is in the formula. The detective is asked onto a case, he goes to interview an important witness, who turns up dead. It's a time-honored formula, and obviously successful, but it made for some disorientation. Good thing I took notes.

The big surprise, as mentioned in several of the early story reviews, was that Chandler went on to build novels from several stories. The upshot of this is that a reader who's already seen the novels will already know where a component short story is going.

Here's the breakdown:

The Big Sleep (1939) uses "Killer in the Rain" and "The Curtain."

Farewell, My Lovely (1940) uses "The Man who Liked Dogs," "Try the Girl," and "Mandarin's Jade."

The Lady in the Lake (1943) uses "Bay City Blues," "The Lady in the Lake," and "No Crime in the Mountains."

I do like Chandler's style, but it doesn't seem as developed in the shorts as in his novels.

Red Wind (short story; Chandler, Raymond)

2009-07-29T22:48:00.004-05:00

Rating: 5
Year: 1938
Genre: Crime
Read again? Yes

Number 12 of 12 in "Trouble is my Business." This is a good ending, since I'm sort of dealing with detective fatigue.

Marlowe's sitting in a little club, minding his own business, chatting with the bartender. There's a fat guy at the other end of the bar buying and devouring his booze a shot at a time. Other than these three gents, the bar's empty.

Another man enters and asks some very specific questions about a woman, right down to describing her clothing. No one's seen her. He turns to leave.

Fat Guy shouts at him, then pulls out a gun and wastes him, walks out, and steals the man's car.

Marlowe finds the woman without even trying (she turns up in the hall near his apartment), but then things start getting complicated.

Goldfish (short story; Chandler, Raymond)

2009-07-29T22:33:00.005-05:00

Rating: 5
Year: 1936
Genre: Crime
Read again? Yes

One of the better shorts! Number 11 of 12 in "Trouble is my Business."

Marlowe's brought in on a chance to make a cut of $20,000 in reward money being offered by an insurance company. All he has to do is find some pearls that went missing in a train robbery years before.

Chief suspect Wally Sype admitted to killing a mail clerk on the train and stealing the other stuff that went missing in the operation. This admission (and the recovery of everything but the pearls) got him a pardon.

But one Peeler Mardo claims that his cellmate (Sype) admitted to grabbing the pearls and hiding them in Idaho.

Marlowe goes to interview Mardo. Mardo's dead, tortured--but did he spill before he died?

It's a race to find the pearls, and Marlowe's up against a tough broad and her ambulance-chaser partner in crime.

Much more entertaining than most of the previous stories--the angel-faced tough broad is a lot of fun and is probably the best fleshed-out character, even with the relatively small amount of screen time she gets.

Finger Man (short story; Chandler, Raymond)

2009-07-26T21:19:00.005-05:00

Rating: 5
Year: 1934
Genre: Crime
Read again? Yes.

Number ten of 12!
Marlowe has just finished testifying in a Grand Jury on a murder. He's offered a job as a bodyguard by one Lou Harger, who has an angle on a roulette wheel he used to own. The wheel's at Canale's casino. Harger wants Marlowe along in case he starts winning and Canale gets pissy.

Marlowe takes the job and goes to the club as though he's just a customer, sitting at the bar and people-watching. Harger's girlfriend racks up more than $20,000 in winnings. But Canale has noticed Marlowe and asks him to leave.

He gets sapped before he even reaches his car. His gun is taken away...then the girl shows up at the office with the money and Harger turns up dead...and fingers are pointing at Marlowe as the killer.

Trouble is my Business (short story; Chandler, Raymond)

2009-07-26T21:06:00.004-05:00

Rating: 4
Year: 1939
Genre: Crime
Read Again? maybe

Nine out of 12, and I'm ready for it to end. Time for something different.

Anna Halsey hires Marlowe to dig up dirt on Harriet Huntress, an unsavory woman who works a scary gamblin' kingpin. Harriet's on the prowl for a rich man's son; the rich man wants her gone.

Mr. Jeeter's the prissy rich man, a complete snob who carries his air of superiority the way a man wears a hat. Marlowe doesn't like him--and he doesn't take crap from the man, rich or not.

Jeeter Junior owes the gamblin' kingpin $50,000 in debts. Pops refuses to pay, even after he hires an investigator to see whether the debts are legitimate. Marlowe goes to meet the investigator, John Arbogast.

Arbogast is, of course, dead. Shortly afterward, some heavies try to scare Marlowe off the case.

No Crime in the Mountains (short story; Chandler, Raymond)

2009-07-18T22:37:00.006-05:00

Rating: 5
Year: 1943
Genre: Crime
Read again? Yes

Number 8 of 12 in "Trouble is my Business" and another piece of the "The Lady in the Lake" novel.

John Evans gets an urgent note and an advance payment: his services are needed by one Fred Lacey out at Puma Point. Evans heads out, finds a hotel, and calls Lacey's number. Mrs. Lacey says he's not in, so Evans relaxes a bit.

I liked this description of the band: "In the deep, black corner of the room a hillbilly symphony of five defeatists in white coats and purple shirts was trying to make itself heard above the brawl at the bar." This is the kind of descriptive I've been hoping to see more of, but it's been rare in these shorts so far.

Evans decides to go looking for Lacey himself. He finds the cabin number and location and heads that way. He stops near the lake short to admire the view and look at Lacey's body. As he's walking back to his car, he's confronted by a little man with a big enough gun...and gets himself knocked unconscious.

When he wakes up, he goes to visit the widow, who tells him that Lacey had found some counterfeit money....

A good story, good characters, though the bad guys are almost comically clichee'd true-believing Nazi Germans and an inscrutible Japanese man.

The sheriff isn't the same character as the one in "The Lady in the Lake," but the descriptions and manner are identical.

Still...not gonna knock points.

The Lady in the Lake (short story; Chandler, Raymond)

2009-07-18T22:25:00.004-05:00

Rating: 5
Year: 1939
Genre: Crime
Read again? Yes

Number 7 of 12 shorts in "Trouble is my Business," and also a chunk of the novel of the same name.

John Dalmas is hired to look for a missing wife; she's told her husband she's leaving him and getting remarried in Mexico. But Mr. Melton saw loverboy just a few days earlier.

Dalmas goes to loverboy's house and pokes around the outside of it, knocking on doors, before finally tripping a spring-lock in back and letting himself in. Loverboy is dead in the living room.

Mr. Melton supposes that wifey could be up at the lake house, so Dalmas hoofs it up there and meets Mr. Haines, the caretaker of a few cottages, including Melton's. Haines is unhappy. Dalmas shares out a pint of whiskey to loosen him up, get him to talk. It seems his wife left him a few days before, about the same time Melton's wife went missing.

They go for a walk so Haines can talk some more...and they find a woman's body submerged in the lake.

Bay City Blues (short story; Chandler, Raymond)

2009-07-18T22:13:00.005-05:00

Rating: 4
Year: 1938
Genre: Crime
Read again? Yes.

Number 6 of 12. Halfway there numerically, but it seems like so much more. As I'm writing this one, I'm reading #9 ("Trouble is my Business").

John Dalmas is set up with a case: A woman is dead, supposedly of carbon monoxide poisoning. There was no coroner's inquest, no police investigation. She was given a once-over, proclaimed a suicide, cremated, and that was that. Now Dalmas is asked to help Henry Matson, a P.I. from Bay City who didn't think the woman was a suicide, and that there are dirty cops and medical types who rigged the whole thing. They pulled Matson's P.I. license and ran him out of town.

Dalmas shortly receives a parcel with clues that point him to an apartment. Shortly after he gets there, Matson shows up and dies.

This story forms part of Chandler's novel, "The Lady in the Lake." I haven't read that one yet, but I'm going to give it a few months (or years) at least so I won't know what's about to happen, given that the shorts so far are lifted scene-for-scene into the later novels.

Mandarin's Jade (short story; Chandler, Raymond)

2009-07-18T22:07:00.006-05:00

Rating: 4
Year: 1937
Genre: Crime
Read Again? maybe.

Fifth of 12 shorts in "Trouble is My Business," and another chunk of "Farewell, My Lovely."

John Dalmas is hired by a rich guy to act as protection while he pays off some jewel thieves. They drive to a secluded place. Dalmas gets sapped (as always--the guy's got to have some headache issues by now!). The client gets his head caved in.

We also see the Big Indian, the psychic, and the girl reporter in scenes that later became part of "Farewell."

At first, the novelty of these shorts kept me reading...but by the time I got done with this one (or it got done with me) I was getting tired of the formula and of having read it all already. Still, I'll give it a 4 like the ones before. It's not a bad story. I just want to see something different now.

Try the Girl (short story; Chandler, Raymond)

2009-07-18T21:53:00.005-05:00

Rating: 4
Year: 1937
Genre: Crime
Read Again? Yes.

Fourth of 12 shorts in "Trouble is My Business." This is another of the stories Chandler combined with some others and made into a novel--in this case, the opening scene and parts of "Farewell, My Lovely."

John Carmady is hijacked by a big man at the entrance to a Blacks-only bar. The man is fresh out of the Joint, looking for his old girfriend. He kills a couple of guys during his interrogation.

Carmady goes on the case, looking for the woman, hoping to reach her before the Big Man does.

So far, this story's got the most "dirty" words--but because of the censorious mentality of the time, they're all rendered as dashes: "-- you!"

The Curtain (short story; Chandler, Raymond)

2009-07-04T16:09:00.003-05:00

Rating: 4
Year: 1936
Genre: Crime
Read Again? Maybe

The third short story in the "Trouble Is My Business" collection.

Carmady wakes up to find a man with a gun in his bedroom; it's an acquaintance on the run from some bad guys.

The man gets aced by some thugs with a chopper, so now Carmady's looking for the killers and their bosses...

...and this brings us to a matching scene from "The Big Sleep," where Marlowe went to visit a sick old man who wanted his son-in-law found, had a followup discussion with the old man's daughter, and then a run-in with the house sociopath (Carmen in "Big Sleep," a little boy in this one).

Both "Curtain" and "Killer in the Rain" (1935) were the basis for 1939's "The Big Sleep;" two of his other novels--"Farewell, My Lovely" and "The Lady in the Lake" are also built from earlier short stories. While it was confusing at first (while reading "Killer in the Rain"), and disappointing because now I knew what was about to happen, it's still fascinating to see how Chandler plugged slightly different characters and situations into these pieces.

Man Who Liked Dogs, The (short story; Chandler, R)

2009-07-04T16:08:00.003-05:00

Rating: 4
Year: 1936
Genre: Crime
Read again? Maybe

Second of 12 shorts in Chandler's "Trouble is my Business" collection.

Carmady's the shamus on the case, looking for a missing woman and her police dog; he goes to a kennel in search of the dog and finds it there. Then he pretends to leave, tails the kennel man--Sharp--who's trying to play it sneaky, get rid of the dog. Carmady watches the man and the dog enter a house; there's barking, shouting, more barking, and a man's scream. He rushes to the door and inside: Sharp's lying and dying on the floor, the dog standing over him, growling, and there's a woman with a gun, then a man with a bigger gun. Carmady disarms them both and asks some questions. They've only been there a week. They say they don't know Sharp or the dog; he was trying to knock the critter out with chloroform and stuff it in a closet.

Then the cops show up--and they sap Carmady without asking any questions.

...and this brings us to a scene right out of "Farewell, My Lovely"--Carmady wakes up in what amounted to a rehab back in the day, a private hospital. From there he faces down corrupt cops and the thugs keeping them as pets.

This is the first of the shorts to use the wise-ass dialogue I liked in "The Big Sleep," stuff like this:

Dirty cop, to nosy nurse: "Go climb up your thumb."

Bad guy, with a Tommy gun, ordering the dirty cop to rais his hands: "Grab a cloud."

After a brief firefight: 'In the room were five statues, two fallen."

The dirty police chief glares at him: 'He measured me for a coffin.'

It's looking like most of the shorts in the collection went on to become major parts of Chandler's novels. That's disappointing, but interesting, so I'm not going to beat him up over it.