Tuesday, May 22, 2012

Star Trek--TOS #23: Ishmael (Hambley, Barbara)


Rating: 5
Year: 1985
Genre: Sci-Fi/Star Trek
Read again? Yes


James Kirk hopes Spock is dead.

The Vulcan science officer snuck aboard a Klingon ship, convinced its crew were Up To No Good. The ship entered a Space Cloud, ostensibly to investigate a rogue dwarf star...and then vanished. Spock managed two transmissions: "White Dwarf, Khlaru, Tillman's Factor, Guardian" and "Eighteen Sixty Seven."

Kirk knows that if the Klingons found Spock aboard their ship, they would torture him.


Meanwhile, in 1867, Aaron Stemple sees a strange light in the woods as he guides his horse through an early-morning mist toward Seattle. Upon investigating further, he finds an unconscious man. No, not a man, not with those ears, not with green blood. After days of nursing the alien into some semblance of health, Stemple is no closer to understanding him: the alien has no recollection of his own identity. Stemple passes him off as his nephew, Ishmael Marx.

About the same time "Ishmael" shows up, two mean-looking strangers come to town, asking questions; we'd recognize them as TV Klingons--dark skin, dark hair.

Can Ishmael figure out why he's in Seattle? Can Kirk figure out Spock's final transmissions?

This book hies from the era of Space Animals in Star Trek books: a Space Octopus (I'm assuming; she had a tentacle) who takes over at the Science station when Spock goes missing; and a blue-eyed Space Snot Puddle named Aurelia Steiner. There just had to be one, some sort of Cosmic thing, because shortly before getting to the part where we meet Ms. Puddle, I was re-reading the review for "Double, Double," where I made a snarky reference to them.

This book was better than I was expecting. I seem to remember not liking Hambly's style or writing for some reason, but I found no issues with this one that would keep me from coming back to it.

Monday, May 21, 2012

Teardrops and Tiny Trailers (Douglas Keister)


Rating: 5/5
Year: 2008
Genre: Nonfiction / Travel
Read again? yes

I've been wanting to build a little teardrop camper for years, partly out of a desire to see forts I've never been to without having to pay for motels, but also because one just needs to get away from time to time.

These hip-pocket homes on wheels date back to the 1930s and are typically built around a standard 4 x 8 foot sheet of plywood. The smaller ones are roomy enough for two friendly people and are light enough to be towed by almost any car. It's a step up from lying in a tent, but still more rough-and-ready (and far cheaper) than a bus-sized RV.

Keister's book is both an attractive guide to the possibilities for designing, outfitting and decorating trailers and a display of their tow vehicles, from Plain Jane to radical; boring to beautiful; wood, fiberglass, and aluminum.

There are plenty of photos of gorgeous old cars and trailers, some of which were built from plans like these from Mechanix Illustrated in 1947.

Friday, April 13, 2012

Jack of Shadows (Zelazny, Roger)

Rating: 5
Year: 1971
Genre: Fantasy
Read Again? Yes

Jack the master thief is nabbed at the Hellgames: his presence alone (even as a bystander) is reason enough to suspect that he intends to steal the game trophy, the Hellflame.

He is executed. Because he's a Darksider, he has a number of lives, but dying is still no small thing.

He awakens several years hence in the Dung Pits of Glyve and sets out to gain revenge upon those who sent him there, most notably his worst enemy, the Lord of Bats.

As he walks from the Pits, he seeks to avoid capture--but the Bat Lord has been waiting: Jack is imprisoned and tormented in payback for stealing some magical manuscripts. Jack's execution was only the beginning.

Once he wins his freedom, Jack's revenge could bring the end of the world.


This is a quick, easy read, though Zelazny doesn't spend much time fleshing the characters out.

Roadshow: Landscape With Drums (Peart, Neil)

Rating: 5
Year: 2006
Genre: Biography/Travel
Read again? Yes


For several years I've been wanting to read Peart's books to see whether his prose is as good as his lyrics for Rush. Maybe it's not as evocative or poetic, but a book takes different writing skills than does a song--and he does a fine job.

In the first chapter, Peart takes us on the road along Interstate 40, nominally following old Route 66, from his home in Los Angeles to the tour's first venue in Nashville, Tennessee. He gives brief sketches of scenery, bumper stickers, reminiscences from the band's beginnings or most recent tour. He describes old diversions for days off--building models, bicycle tours, reading, several abortive attempts at writing fiction. Anything to kill time during the boring stretches of highway travel.

We see a side of the author that most fans never see; he used to have a reputation for being standoffish, unapproachable, and rude toward the invading fan horde. His writing here--and in interviews for the Rush biopic "Beyond the Lighted Stage" reveals a man who can play his drums before 500,000 screaming Rush fans but who is terribly shy and uncomfortable under fame's microscope.

Here, on the road with Michael (the R30 Tour's security director) and their motorcycles, he's not Neil Peart the Greatest Rock Drummer Of Our Time (and he'd be very uncomfortable if you called him that to his face); no, he's Just Neil, an anonymous guy on a bike who takes the occasional smoke break, stays overnight in a Best Western, and has a generous serving of The Macallen single-malt before dinner: "When I'm riding my motorcycle, I'm glad to be alive. When I stop riding my motorcycle, I'm glad to be alive."

Chapter 1 comes to a close 2-1/2 days later with the weary riders pulling up to the practice venue.

The rest of the book follows the same pattern, with snapshots of shows old and new, rides past and present, moments with friends and family, all tied together with life on the smallest, most out-of-the-way roads on the way to the next show, passing farms and tiny towns and meeting real people, regular people, ordinary people along the way.

I was amused to find that Peart "collects" church signs--
--We have no new messages
--To prevent burning, use son block
--If you take satan for a ride pretty soon he'll want to drive
--Faith is a higher faculty than reason
--To belittle is to be little
--Why worry when you can pray?
--He is no respecter of persons

--each of which get some snarky comment or launch a philosophical discussion once he and Michael are off the road and drinking their evening Macallen. The thoughts triggered by "He is no respecter of persons" is especially worth reading.

Another running joke is that Peart doesn't give the venues' corporate names in the book; he names them "Lodging and Entertainment Corporation Amphitheater" or "Consumer Electronics Chain Amphitheater" or "Natural Gas Corporation Theater" or whatever. He describes fans who've been to so many shows that the band gave them nicknames (license plate chick, the happy guy), remembers seeing the Fan's Girlfriend phenomenon over the years (she hates the music, hates the band's place in her BF's affections). There are the inevitable fans who push a little too far, following Peart's bus out of the venue lot and down the highway--do they want autographs, or is it some lunatic who wants those secret lyric messages decoded?

When he arrives in London to begin the European leg of the tour, there are heartbreaking memories of Peart and wife Jackie trying to absorb the loss of their teen-aged daughter in 1997; they went to London hoping to get away from publicity and reminders. Less than a year later, Jackie was dead of cancer. Peart goes out of his way to avoid triggers this time around (the show must go on), but it's a hard couple of days.

Still, this isn't the book for dwelling on those losses, though there are many other places that bring the occasional stab of memories: a museum trip in St. Louis when Selena was nearly 16, Peart keeping it short: "I love those memories. And hate them, too."

Star Fall (David Bischoff)

Rating: 2.5
Year: 1980
Genre: Sci-Fi
Read again? In another 15 years

I'd been looking for this book for most of a decade; couldn't remember the title or author, but ultimately found it when I remembered some of the plot highlights.

The first time I read it was in the 1980's; I traded it off at a used-books store and forgot all about it. That wasn't a bad call at all.

We begin with Philip Amber, master assassin, whose target is a mobster named Theodor Durtwood. Almost from the beginning of the caper, things go to crap. He wastes Durtwood, but it's a sloppy job. He escapes, only to be nabbed by his enemies.

Next we meet Todd Spigot, a fat, ugly lump of boring headed out on vacation to Earth to escape his overbearing mother. He's scheduled to board the space liner Star Fall, a monstrosity of a ship with all the luxury and spectacle a vacationer could want. But Todd makes a quick stop at the Steinmetz Body Parlor to trade his fat, ugly, lumpy body in for an exciting bemuscled Adonis (if you're going, go in style!).

Just after Todd-as-Adonis leaves in his new body, Philip gets to the Body Parlor, ready to swap out of his heavily damaged carcass and back into his beefcake Adonis body, stashed with Steinmetz for safe-keeping.

Oooops!

Hilarity ensues as Philip boards the Star Fall shuttle wearing the fat, ugly lump of boring and sits next to Todd-as-Adonis!

They're joined by Alexandra Durtwood, the mobster's daughter, bent on avenging her dead father....

Then there's Ort Eath, a standard megalomaniacal alien who just wants to blow up Earth. Star Fall is his weapon.

Oh, and Todd's Adonis body is actually a MacGuffin Mk 12 combat body with a mind of its own. It convinces Todd, Philip, and Alexandra to join forces to defeat Ort Eath and save the Earth!


This book could have been better. There were some comical misspellings, such as bombay for bomb bay, hurled for hurtled, pouring for poring, ensured for insured, and their's for theirs. I felt like I was being read to by Ed Wood more often than not. Or like I was reading one of Brian Daley's "Han Solo" books--pretty straight-line plot motion, no real surprises or reason to care about most of the characters.

The main actors are bland, standard (hunky hero in Todd, hot chick in Alexandra); the bad guy's out for revenge and has a god complex. The body-swapping tech twist--a MacGuffin called MacGuffin!--is amusing, but not really enough to make up for the clunkier parts of the plotting and characterization.

Tuesday, February 7, 2012

Updates: Index by Title, Index by Author

Since I'm not reading as much as I'd like, the least I can do is fix the crappy, outdated indices I started in 2008 (by author, by title).

Blogger doesn't make it easy to gather all the stuff I need, but I've finally got a spreadsheet with all titles, authors, and links through December 31, 2011. Building an index is easy, now.

Friday, December 30, 2011

Crappiest Books of 2011

Only a Bottom 5, given the few books I made it through this year.

It's not really fair to have #3-5 in this list, given that they're not sucky books--and especially not in the league of suck that #1-2 occupy. They're just not as good as those in the Top 5. If I'd managed to read more in 2011 these three would have been middle of the road.


5. Pronto.

4. Castle of Deception.

3. The Chaos Gate.

2. I, Jedi. Well-deserved second-suckiest. I still hate to do it, since Stackpole's a good guy, but I can't cut this book any slack.

1. Darksaber. I can't bag on this one enough. I still want to have it mounted in a block of acrylic, opened to the suckiest part, but that might mean having to read this hideous construction again.

Top Books of 2011

It's been a rough year again as far as reading goes. I've been too tired to read much of the time.

It took me close to two months to read "Buckaroo Banzai"--and only part of that is because the book drags somewhat.

I made it through 22 books this year; last year it was 36. Compare that to somewhere just under 100 in 2009.

Twenty-two books is a lot of down-time--a lot of sleeping, actually. Once I'm done here, I'm headed for bed again.

I don't really have enough for a Top 10, though, so here's the Top 5 for 2011:

5. Jaws. Actually, I'm still in the middle of this book, but it could be several more weeks before I'm done, at this rate.

4. Zahn's Thrawn Star Wars trilogy. They're still as good as the first time I read them in the early '90s. I wish the other SW books were as good. Too many of them suck.

3. Getting Great Guitar Sounds, because of a simple phrase near the end: "If you make a mistake, make it like you mean it." I took this to apply to all playing--Play it like you mean it. It helped me to stop worrying so much about sounding like the recording I'm playing along with and just have fun.

2. Maximum Bob. The title alone makes it worth reading.

1. Dresden #13: Ghost Story. Dammit, Jim, now I have to wait till mid-2012 for the next one!

Jaws (Benchley, Peter)

Rating: 5/5
Year: 1974
Genre: Horror
Read again? Yes.

Summer is only days away; Amity's 1,000 permanent residents will soon be joined by 9,000 summer visitors.

When Christine Watkins' mangled remains wash up on the beach where tourists might see, Amity's politicians step up and bravely order police chief Martin Brody to keep his mouth shut. The beaches will stay open, the paper will stay silent.

There were no witnesses.

A few quiet days pass, and within hours of each other a 6-year-old boy and a 65-year-old man are killed.

This time, there are witnesses.

Brody gets the beaches closed, but now (as he expected) he looks like the bad guy. Those politicians wouldn't dirty their hands with responsibility.

A shark expert from Woods Hole--Matt Hooper--thinks the killer is a Great White shark.

Now July 4th--the big weekend that could make or break Amity--is less than two weeks away. People are canceling their leases or just walking away from them. The Mayor's freaking out (he's one of the major real estate owners in town) more over the financial losses than over the killings.

Brody's wife Ellen has a shagfest with Hooper; we're treated to all of her rationalizations for this (lonely, bored, unhappy, etc.), but I wasn't sympathetic to her plight. Perhaps it's mostly there to heighten tension between Chief Brody and the shark expert later in the book, but it really made me dislike her.

Otherwise, Benchley tells a good story and moves it along. Characterization is reasonably good and there's only the amount of exposition that the reader needs.

Buckaroo Banzai (Rauch, Earl Mac)

Rating: 4/5
Year: 1984
Genre: Sci-Fi/Adventure
Read again? In another 10 years

Adventurer, neurosurgeon, rock star, physicist, engineer, and all-around genius Buckaroo Banzai races his Jet Car through a mile-wide mountain and into the 8th Dimension!

But first, Buckaroo had to attend to a bit of tricky neurosurgery.

Meanwhile, Emilio Lazardo, aka John Whorfin, a Red Lectroid from Planet Ten!--plans his escape from a mental institution and schemes to steal Buckaroo's Oscillation Overthruster, the amazing device that allowed Buckaroo to cross the Dimensional barrier--and which will let Whorfin return home to Planet 10!

John Whorfin has a sort-of team of people--all Red Lectroids in disguise: John Bigboote and John O'Connor are running Yoyodyne, an aerospace company front that's suposed to be building their way back to Planet 10. But Bigboote and O'Connor seem to enjoy the human life too much.

Buckaroo Banzai has a team of people--a small army, actually, but his inner circle and rock band are known as the Hong Kong Cavaliers. It's up to all of them to save the world.

But first, they'll celebrate breaking the Dimensional barrier by playing a gig.

Save the world? Yes. Those Red Lectroids are bad guys banished from Planet 10. The good guys, who call themselves Adders, have threatened to blow up the Earth if Buckaroo can't stop the Lectroids.

The book is narrated by Reno, one of the Honk Kong Cavaliers and Buckaroo's official chronicler. Reno's got an entertaining heroic/cowboyish style that could be distracting or annoying if it weren't so tongue-in-cheek. There's a real-world feel to the narrative, thanks to Reno's footnotes and references to a backlog of Buckaroo Banzai adventures. Maybe a little long-winded. The book does drag in places, just enough that I zapped a point.