Rating: 4
Year: 1994
Genre: Adventure, Fantasy, Comedy
Read Again? Yes
The Stuff of Legends continues right where the first book left off!
Cornelius and his half-pint friend Tuppe have a plan: they will modify an ocarina to add the special notes that will open the Forbidden Zones scattered around town. Then they'll open them one by one and liberate the loot hidden therein!
To this end, Cornelius shoplifts an ocarina and a young woman from a music shop. The trio hijacks an ice cream truck, which gains them a place to store loot and a PA system to boost the ocarina's signal.
In the meantime, one Inspectre Hovis is hoping to solve the Crime of the Century. This would involve the theft of a sizable quantity of diamonds years before which suddenly turned up scattered all over the road. His prime suspect is a cab driver who claims that he was minding his own business when a train--a TRAIN!--came barreling out of a solid wall and scattered those very diamonds all over the street. This really did happen, at the end of the first book.
In the meantime again, Team Cornelius open one of the Zones and find a wonderous car designed by The Man Himself, Hugo Artemis Solon Saturnicus Reginald Arthur Rune, master of the unpaid bill, guru of gurus, reinventor of the ocarina, hater of Bud Abbott.
They soon find themselves in Rune's very presence. He has a plan to enter the Forbidden Zones and destroy them utterly, to reveal the beings who lurk within and secretly control the lives of humanity!
At the same time, there is to be an enormous rock festival headlined by Gandhi's Hairdryer, Prince Charles meets an interesting young woman, the Queen is an alien, and the very forces of the underworld whom Rune wishes to reveal are working to keep him from succeeding!
I'd have liked this book more if I hadn't taken so long--several months--to read it. I kept putting it aside and forgetting it. No fault of Rankin's, just me doing other things and ending up too tired to read.
Showing posts with label Comedy. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Comedy. Show all posts
Monday, January 27, 2014
Friday, August 2, 2013
Cornelius Murphy 01: The Book of Ultimate Truths (Robert Rankin)
Rating: 5
Year: 1993
Genre: Adventure, Fantasy, Comedy
Read Again? Yes!
Young Cornelius Murphy is the Stuff of Epics. Destined for Greatness. No one is more aware of this than he.
Actually, he seems to be the only one aware of this fact: the world doesn't care.
There's a Mr. Yarrow (the youth Employment Officer) at his school who is desperate to see the young Murphy gainfully employed before his final school year is done. He's tried and failed seven times to get the wretched boy into a job.
Mechanic? "Too delicate."
Merchant Seaman?
Minicab Driver? "Too well-spoken."
Monumental Mason? "Too tall."
Motorcycle Messenger?
Marriage Counselor? "Too sophisticated."
Male Model? "Too rugged."
He tries again. Mime Artiste.
Nope. "Too well-endowed."
Cornelius does finally get a job, but not via Mr. Yarrow. One Arthur Kobold hires him to travel into the wilds of Scotland to find and purchase the effects of the heroic and mystical Hugo Artemis Solon Saturnicus Reginald Arthur Rune, master of the unpaid bill, guru of gurus, reinventor of the ocarina, hater of Bud Abbott.
Among these effects is a manuscript for Rune's greatest work, The Book of Ultimate Truths. Kobold wants to reprint the magnificent opus.
Cornelius travels into the vast reaches of untamed Scotland, finding himself pursued by a Campbell, who is also after the manuscript.
The simple "go to the auction, win the bid for some old junk no one wants, and bring it back" isn't as simple and uneventful as Cornelius expected it to be. He faces an enormous riot, a shootout in a monastery, and a bunch of naked Wiccans ("It's a genuine religion, you know.").
As he travels, Cornelius reads a copy of The Book, learning of the perils of C11 H17 NO3 (mescaline) in soaps, tea, and cola (Rune ran a profitable soap, tea, and cola concession off this fearmongering); the secret lives of Biro ballpoint pens (and why they vanish when you need one); and the truth of why there's always two screws left over when you reassemble a toaster or radio, and how this delayed the scheduled beginning of World War Two by three years (Rune learned this secret in India, acting as Gandhi's spiritual advisor).
Rankin's writing is rich, engaging and wickedly funny. There's no drag, aside from a mincing Gandhi in disguise as Rune's wife. Hell of a ride.
Year: 1993
Genre: Adventure, Fantasy, Comedy
Read Again? Yes!
Young Cornelius Murphy is the Stuff of Epics. Destined for Greatness. No one is more aware of this than he.
Actually, he seems to be the only one aware of this fact: the world doesn't care.
There's a Mr. Yarrow (the youth Employment Officer) at his school who is desperate to see the young Murphy gainfully employed before his final school year is done. He's tried and failed seven times to get the wretched boy into a job.
Mechanic? "Too delicate."
Merchant Seaman?
Minicab Driver? "Too well-spoken."
Monumental Mason? "Too tall."
Motorcycle Messenger?
Marriage Counselor? "Too sophisticated."
Male Model? "Too rugged."
He tries again. Mime Artiste.
Nope. "Too well-endowed."
Cornelius does finally get a job, but not via Mr. Yarrow. One Arthur Kobold hires him to travel into the wilds of Scotland to find and purchase the effects of the heroic and mystical Hugo Artemis Solon Saturnicus Reginald Arthur Rune, master of the unpaid bill, guru of gurus, reinventor of the ocarina, hater of Bud Abbott.
Among these effects is a manuscript for Rune's greatest work, The Book of Ultimate Truths. Kobold wants to reprint the magnificent opus.
Cornelius travels into the vast reaches of untamed Scotland, finding himself pursued by a Campbell, who is also after the manuscript.
The simple "go to the auction, win the bid for some old junk no one wants, and bring it back" isn't as simple and uneventful as Cornelius expected it to be. He faces an enormous riot, a shootout in a monastery, and a bunch of naked Wiccans ("It's a genuine religion, you know.").
As he travels, Cornelius reads a copy of The Book, learning of the perils of C11 H17 NO3 (mescaline) in soaps, tea, and cola (Rune ran a profitable soap, tea, and cola concession off this fearmongering); the secret lives of Biro ballpoint pens (and why they vanish when you need one); and the truth of why there's always two screws left over when you reassemble a toaster or radio, and how this delayed the scheduled beginning of World War Two by three years (Rune learned this secret in India, acting as Gandhi's spiritual advisor).
Rankin's writing is rich, engaging and wickedly funny. There's no drag, aside from a mincing Gandhi in disguise as Rune's wife. Hell of a ride.
Wednesday, May 15, 2013
Wuntvor 03: A Disagreement With Death (Craig Shaw Gardner)
Rating: 4
Year: 1989
Genre: Fantasy, Comedy
Read again? Yes
Fresh from fleeing Mother Duck and her fairy tales, Wuntvor and his companions learn that Death has taken Wunt's master, the great (sneezing) wizard Ebenezum. Death's holding him hostage and wants the Eternal Apprentice to hand himself over.
Snarks the horribly honest demon reminds them that he used to be a monk in the service of Plaugg the Somewhat Magnificent, and that Wunt might ask the third-rate god for help. Wunt and Snarks fly dragonback to the heavens--with a short stop to ask the Two Fates for directions (the third sister is on vacation).
The Fates' advice sends them to the Home of the Dragons. Hubert (the theatrical dragon) hasn't been home in quite some time. He's wildly famous, the local-boy-done-good, but his friends and relatives want to know why he's hoarding those tasty morsels (Wunt and Snarks). A little song, a little dance...and it turns out that the part of heaven where they'll find Plaugg is up, and a little to the left.
Of the six Ebenezum/Wuntvor books, this is the most disappointing. Once we've gotten through the Big Fight with Death, the book just winds down and seems to stop. A perfunctory resolution to the series.
Stylistically, through all six books Gardner's writing gets you there, but kind of plods along the way. Serviceable. The first time I read the series (1991 or so), it was cryingly funny. After maybe the 6th time, I'd say to just ignore the bumps and these short books will go by quickly.
Year: 1989
Genre: Fantasy, Comedy
Read again? Yes
Fresh from fleeing Mother Duck and her fairy tales, Wuntvor and his companions learn that Death has taken Wunt's master, the great (sneezing) wizard Ebenezum. Death's holding him hostage and wants the Eternal Apprentice to hand himself over.
Snarks the horribly honest demon reminds them that he used to be a monk in the service of Plaugg the Somewhat Magnificent, and that Wunt might ask the third-rate god for help. Wunt and Snarks fly dragonback to the heavens--with a short stop to ask the Two Fates for directions (the third sister is on vacation).
The Fates' advice sends them to the Home of the Dragons. Hubert (the theatrical dragon) hasn't been home in quite some time. He's wildly famous, the local-boy-done-good, but his friends and relatives want to know why he's hoarding those tasty morsels (Wunt and Snarks). A little song, a little dance...and it turns out that the part of heaven where they'll find Plaugg is up, and a little to the left.
Of the six Ebenezum/Wuntvor books, this is the most disappointing. Once we've gotten through the Big Fight with Death, the book just winds down and seems to stop. A perfunctory resolution to the series.
Stylistically, through all six books Gardner's writing gets you there, but kind of plods along the way. Serviceable. The first time I read the series (1991 or so), it was cryingly funny. After maybe the 6th time, I'd say to just ignore the bumps and these short books will go by quickly.
Wuntvor 02: An Excess of Enchantments (Craig Shaw Gardner)
Rating: 4
Year: 1988
Genre: Fantasy, Comedy
Read again? Yes
Team Wuntvor have finally reached the Eastern Kingdoms. Wunt hopes to convince Mother Duck to help cure the allergy curse on the sniffling, sneezing, stuffy-headed-so-they-can't-use-magic wizards of Vushta.
Mother Duck isn't interested in helping Wunt. She's got an agreement with the Netherhells!
But her plans are far, far worse than handing Wunt and his friends over to the demon horde.
They will star in her fairy tales (even the Brownie, who really hates being called a fairy).
Once upon a time....
This phrase is part of the spell. Wuntvor finds himself as the Young Adventurer seeking the home of the Sun. He makes camp after a day's travel and is joined by a fairy--
--who suddenly breaks character, insisting that Brownies are NOT fairies. They're very sensitive about that. Brownies are an industrious tiny people who make shoes! Fairies are tiny people who hang out in the woods and frolic with satyrs! They couldn't be more different!
The spell is broken. Mother Duck, struggling artist, shows up and makes a few changes, amps up her spell, annnnd--ACTION!
Once upon a time...
Wuntvor is a traveler crossing a valley. A sign warns of danger ahead. The next bids him "BEWARE!" His trail leads to a bridge and the dangers that wait beneath...
Then one of the "trolls" drops out of character and breaks the spell.
Mother Duck is furious, but quickly regroups. A new story begins.
Once upon a time...
Wunt now walks in the woods and meets a tiny man--a tiny man who is NOT a fairy, but a Brownie--and who offers him seven wishes. One wish for a weapon, squandered on the magic sword he already carries.
Second wish, true love. The Brownie leads him to a tower. After a brief conversation with the resident Damsel, Wunt finds himself buried in an enormous fall of golden hair. He climbs, they talk, and he learns that he must defeat the Dragon beneath the tower to rescue the Damsel...
With each interruption, a new story begins. Each time he seems to be alone, Death shows up, trying to take the prized Eternal Apprentice only to be thwarted. There seems to be no escape from Mother Duck's stories.
Will Wuntvor ever reach happily ever after?
Year: 1988
Genre: Fantasy, Comedy
Read again? Yes
Team Wuntvor have finally reached the Eastern Kingdoms. Wunt hopes to convince Mother Duck to help cure the allergy curse on the sniffling, sneezing, stuffy-headed-so-they-can't-use-magic wizards of Vushta.
Mother Duck isn't interested in helping Wunt. She's got an agreement with the Netherhells!
But her plans are far, far worse than handing Wunt and his friends over to the demon horde.
They will star in her fairy tales (even the Brownie, who really hates being called a fairy).
Once upon a time....
This phrase is part of the spell. Wuntvor finds himself as the Young Adventurer seeking the home of the Sun. He makes camp after a day's travel and is joined by a fairy--
--who suddenly breaks character, insisting that Brownies are NOT fairies. They're very sensitive about that. Brownies are an industrious tiny people who make shoes! Fairies are tiny people who hang out in the woods and frolic with satyrs! They couldn't be more different!
The spell is broken. Mother Duck, struggling artist, shows up and makes a few changes, amps up her spell, annnnd--ACTION!
Once upon a time...
Wuntvor is a traveler crossing a valley. A sign warns of danger ahead. The next bids him "BEWARE!" His trail leads to a bridge and the dangers that wait beneath...
Then one of the "trolls" drops out of character and breaks the spell.
Mother Duck is furious, but quickly regroups. A new story begins.
Once upon a time...
Wunt now walks in the woods and meets a tiny man--a tiny man who is NOT a fairy, but a Brownie--and who offers him seven wishes. One wish for a weapon, squandered on the magic sword he already carries.
Second wish, true love. The Brownie leads him to a tower. After a brief conversation with the resident Damsel, Wunt finds himself buried in an enormous fall of golden hair. He climbs, they talk, and he learns that he must defeat the Dragon beneath the tower to rescue the Damsel...
With each interruption, a new story begins. Each time he seems to be alone, Death shows up, trying to take the prized Eternal Apprentice only to be thwarted. There seems to be no escape from Mother Duck's stories.
Will Wuntvor ever reach happily ever after?
Wuntvor 01: A Difficulty with Dwarves (Craig Shaw Gardner)
Rating: 4
Year: 1987
Genre: Fantasy, Comedy
Read again? Yes
Vushta is saved!
Too bad about the wizards, though.
In trying to cure the sniffling, sneezing, handkerchief-filling wizard Ebenezum's allergy to magic, almost all the other wizards in Vushta have been stricken with the same curse!
Three tough-guy apprentices are after Wuntvor, demanding that he cure their masters or pay 200 gold pieces by moonrise the next day. Failure to pay the 400 in gold will result in unpleasantness (the ever-increasing fee is a running joke).
Meanwhile, there is discord amongst Wuntvor's companions. Snarks the honest demon is suddenly terrified of Brownies (instead of being merely disgusted by them). The Damsel and Dragon are sniping at each other (creative differences). Love interest Norei thinks Wuntvor's eye wanders too much and he doesn't take her seriously. The Dealer of Death has a quarterly review coming up and it likely won't be favorable because we're in the fourth book already and he still hasn't killed Wuntvor, Ebenezum, or Hendrek (a contract is a contract, friends or not). Hendrek is thoughtful.
Wuntvor must go to the Eastern Kingdoms to find help for the allergy-stricken wizards. Since his usual companions are acting weird, he decides to go it alone.
Mistake!
He's accosted by Death, who seeks to claim the lone traveler. Death believes Wuntvor is the mythical Eternal Apprentice--and Death can only take him when he's truly alone.
Then a ferret shows up. And Tap the Brownie...and Guxx Unfufadoo and Brax the salesdemon...Hubert the theatrical dragon and his Damsel...the unicorn...Hendrek and Snarks. Death is furious...but rules are rules. He can't take Wuntvor, so he leaves.
Guxx Unfufadoo is no longer a rhyming demon. Because of the spell involving his nose hair at the end of the previous book, any attempt at rhyming sends him into sneezing fits! Now he can only speak in verse. Brax carries a small drum for beating rhythm.
Wunt and the gang keep heading east, eventually reaching the Eastern Kingdoms and meeting the Seven Other Dwarves (Nasty, Touchy, Snooty, Spacey, Dumpy, Noisy, Sickly, and Smarmy...yes, there are actually eight) and their frightening mistress, Mother Duck.
Will Mother Duck help Wuntvor...or will she bake him into bread?
Year: 1987
Genre: Fantasy, Comedy
Read again? Yes
Vushta is saved!
Too bad about the wizards, though.
In trying to cure the sniffling, sneezing, handkerchief-filling wizard Ebenezum's allergy to magic, almost all the other wizards in Vushta have been stricken with the same curse!
Three tough-guy apprentices are after Wuntvor, demanding that he cure their masters or pay 200 gold pieces by moonrise the next day. Failure to pay the 400 in gold will result in unpleasantness (the ever-increasing fee is a running joke).
Meanwhile, there is discord amongst Wuntvor's companions. Snarks the honest demon is suddenly terrified of Brownies (instead of being merely disgusted by them). The Damsel and Dragon are sniping at each other (creative differences). Love interest Norei thinks Wuntvor's eye wanders too much and he doesn't take her seriously. The Dealer of Death has a quarterly review coming up and it likely won't be favorable because we're in the fourth book already and he still hasn't killed Wuntvor, Ebenezum, or Hendrek (a contract is a contract, friends or not). Hendrek is thoughtful.
Wuntvor must go to the Eastern Kingdoms to find help for the allergy-stricken wizards. Since his usual companions are acting weird, he decides to go it alone.
Mistake!
He's accosted by Death, who seeks to claim the lone traveler. Death believes Wuntvor is the mythical Eternal Apprentice--and Death can only take him when he's truly alone.
Then a ferret shows up. And Tap the Brownie...and Guxx Unfufadoo and Brax the salesdemon...Hubert the theatrical dragon and his Damsel...the unicorn...Hendrek and Snarks. Death is furious...but rules are rules. He can't take Wuntvor, so he leaves.
Guxx Unfufadoo is no longer a rhyming demon. Because of the spell involving his nose hair at the end of the previous book, any attempt at rhyming sends him into sneezing fits! Now he can only speak in verse. Brax carries a small drum for beating rhythm.
Wunt and the gang keep heading east, eventually reaching the Eastern Kingdoms and meeting the Seven Other Dwarves (Nasty, Touchy, Snooty, Spacey, Dumpy, Noisy, Sickly, and Smarmy...yes, there are actually eight) and their frightening mistress, Mother Duck.
Will Mother Duck help Wuntvor...or will she bake him into bread?
Ebenezum 03: A Night in the Netherhells (Craig Shaw Gardner)
Rating: 4
Year: 1987
Genre: Fantasy, Comedy
Read again? Yes
Vushta, City of Forbidden Delights, has gone right to hell!
The Netherhells, that is.
Apprentice Wuntvor and his sneezy master Ebenezum finally reach the city after two books, Death, a Brownie, a gold-pooping chicken, an angry union representing bog womblers and other downtrodden imaginary and mythical beasts, a lap-lusting unicorn, a dragon and damsel stage act, a brutally honest demon, an assassin who loves to strangle wild boars, several attacks by Guxx Unfufadoo and his horde of Netherhells demons, a love-interest witch, a giant, and a long trip across the sea (powered by sneezing)!
And now the city is gone, dragged to the Netherhells by evil rhyming demon Guxx Unfufadoo. Not even one Forbidden Delight for Wuntvor to sample.
All that remains is the less-fashionable West Vushta. two wizards, some apprentices, and a costumer.
Plans are made. Wuntvor will venture into the Netherhells, armed with what few weapons could be found:
Wonk, the Horn of Persuasion.
Cuthbert, the cowardly talking sword.
A "Get Out of Jail Free" card.
A magic hat that produces scarves, flowers, or ferrets when one says "yes", "no", or "perhaps".
He will be joined by Hendrek and his cursed battleclub Headbasher (which no man can truly own, etc.) and Snarks the horribly honest demon.
And three ferrets.
All they have to do is find Guxx Unfufadoo and snip a single nose hair from him.
They meet up with the Dealer of Death, who once relished the the challenge of killing demons, but now wanders the Netherhells wishing for a good, solid wild boar to strangle.
Can our heroes defeat Guxx once and for all and rescue the Fabled City of Vushta?
Year: 1987
Genre: Fantasy, Comedy
Read again? Yes
Vushta, City of Forbidden Delights, has gone right to hell!
The Netherhells, that is.
Apprentice Wuntvor and his sneezy master Ebenezum finally reach the city after two books, Death, a Brownie, a gold-pooping chicken, an angry union representing bog womblers and other downtrodden imaginary and mythical beasts, a lap-lusting unicorn, a dragon and damsel stage act, a brutally honest demon, an assassin who loves to strangle wild boars, several attacks by Guxx Unfufadoo and his horde of Netherhells demons, a love-interest witch, a giant, and a long trip across the sea (powered by sneezing)!
And now the city is gone, dragged to the Netherhells by evil rhyming demon Guxx Unfufadoo. Not even one Forbidden Delight for Wuntvor to sample.
All that remains is the less-fashionable West Vushta. two wizards, some apprentices, and a costumer.
Plans are made. Wuntvor will venture into the Netherhells, armed with what few weapons could be found:
Wonk, the Horn of Persuasion.
Cuthbert, the cowardly talking sword.
A "Get Out of Jail Free" card.
A magic hat that produces scarves, flowers, or ferrets when one says "yes", "no", or "perhaps".
He will be joined by Hendrek and his cursed battleclub Headbasher (which no man can truly own, etc.) and Snarks the horribly honest demon.
And three ferrets.
All they have to do is find Guxx Unfufadoo and snip a single nose hair from him.
They meet up with the Dealer of Death, who once relished the the challenge of killing demons, but now wanders the Netherhells wishing for a good, solid wild boar to strangle.
Can our heroes defeat Guxx once and for all and rescue the Fabled City of Vushta?
Ebenezum 02: A Multitude of Monsters (Craig Shaw Gardner)
Rating: 4
Year: 1986
Genre: Fantasy, Comedy
Read again? Yes
Sneezing wizard Ebenezum and his trusty--if clumsy--apprentice Wuntvor are still on the road to Vushta, City of Forbidden Delights. They travel with Hendrek the warrior and his cursed warclub Headbasher (which no man can truly own, but can only rent) and Snarks, formerly a monk in the service of third-rate god Plaugg the Reasonably Magnificent.
Snarks is a demon so unpleasantly honest he has to wear a hood to muffle the truth.
Then the Brownie shows up.
Then a unicorn seeking a virgin lap upon which to rest his weary head.
Then a giant bird--a Rok--nabs the wizard and his apprentice, flying them miles away to confront the nefarious (and unheard-of) Association for the Advancement of Mythical and Imaginary Creatures (AFTAOMAIBAC). They demand better treatment, what with unicorns and dragons and fairies getting all the good jobs in stories and tapestries. What about bog womblers? Satyrs? Griffons?
Year: 1986
Genre: Fantasy, Comedy
Read again? Yes
Sneezing wizard Ebenezum and his trusty--if clumsy--apprentice Wuntvor are still on the road to Vushta, City of Forbidden Delights. They travel with Hendrek the warrior and his cursed warclub Headbasher (which no man can truly own, but can only rent) and Snarks, formerly a monk in the service of third-rate god Plaugg the Reasonably Magnificent.
Snarks is a demon so unpleasantly honest he has to wear a hood to muffle the truth.
Then the Brownie shows up.
Then a unicorn seeking a virgin lap upon which to rest his weary head.
Then a giant bird--a Rok--nabs the wizard and his apprentice, flying them miles away to confront the nefarious (and unheard-of) Association for the Advancement of Mythical and Imaginary Creatures (AFTAOMAIBAC). They demand better treatment, what with unicorns and dragons and fairies getting all the good jobs in stories and tapestries. What about bog womblers? Satyrs? Griffons?
Ebenezum 01: A Malady of Magics (Craig Shaw Gardner)
Rating: 4
Year: 1986
Genre: Fantasy, Comedy
Read again? Yes
When wizard Ebenezum tries to awe his new apprentice by summoning a fearsome demon, a broken line on his protective pentagram means the demon's not in the wizard's control!
Even worse, this is Guxx Unfufadoo, a horrid rhyming demon whose dread powers grow with every rhyme!
After a brief battle--part of which with Ebenezum's beard stuffed in the demon's mouth to keep it from speaking--the wizard banishes his foe back to its home in the Netherhells.
Then...the sneezing begins.
Ebenezum finds himself cursed with a horrible allergy to magic. Even minor spells send him into convulsions of sneezing.
Now the stricken wizard and Wuntvor the apprentice must take to the road for Vushta, the famed City of Forbidden Delights, to seek a cure. But first, they raise some traveling funds by rescuing a damsel from a dreadful dragon...well, kind of. The dragon's really into theatre and takes on the damsel as his partner.
Soon our heroes encounter their next foe, Hendrek of Melifox, armed with the enchanted warclub Headbasher, which no man can truly own, but can only rent!
Then they meet Death; a woman with a chicken that poops gold; an assassin named the Dealer of Death (and who loves to strangle wild pigs); and an enclave of monks who worship Plaugg, the Moderately Great.
Very much in the vein of Robert Asprin's "Myth" series, which started as a send-up of heroic fantasy and swords-and-sorcery tales. As with Asprin's Skeeve the apprentice, Gardner's Wuntvor must handle the magical burden for his master (in Skeeve's case, his original teacher was assassinated; his second lost his powers as a prank by the previous guy). Wuntvor is incredibly clumsy, but he means well, and his successes are more from screwing things up than from being competent in magic.
Year: 1986
Genre: Fantasy, Comedy
Read again? Yes
When wizard Ebenezum tries to awe his new apprentice by summoning a fearsome demon, a broken line on his protective pentagram means the demon's not in the wizard's control!
Even worse, this is Guxx Unfufadoo, a horrid rhyming demon whose dread powers grow with every rhyme!
After a brief battle--part of which with Ebenezum's beard stuffed in the demon's mouth to keep it from speaking--the wizard banishes his foe back to its home in the Netherhells.
Then...the sneezing begins.
Ebenezum finds himself cursed with a horrible allergy to magic. Even minor spells send him into convulsions of sneezing.
Now the stricken wizard and Wuntvor the apprentice must take to the road for Vushta, the famed City of Forbidden Delights, to seek a cure. But first, they raise some traveling funds by rescuing a damsel from a dreadful dragon...well, kind of. The dragon's really into theatre and takes on the damsel as his partner.
Soon our heroes encounter their next foe, Hendrek of Melifox, armed with the enchanted warclub Headbasher, which no man can truly own, but can only rent!
Then they meet Death; a woman with a chicken that poops gold; an assassin named the Dealer of Death (and who loves to strangle wild pigs); and an enclave of monks who worship Plaugg, the Moderately Great.
Very much in the vein of Robert Asprin's "Myth" series, which started as a send-up of heroic fantasy and swords-and-sorcery tales. As with Asprin's Skeeve the apprentice, Gardner's Wuntvor must handle the magical burden for his master (in Skeeve's case, his original teacher was assassinated; his second lost his powers as a prank by the previous guy). Wuntvor is incredibly clumsy, but he means well, and his successes are more from screwing things up than from being competent in magic.
Friday, December 31, 2010
Myth #3: Myth Directions (Asprin, Robert)
Rating: 5
Year: 1982
Genre: Fantasy/Comedy
Read again? Yes.
Skeeve and Aahz are bored. The weather in Possiltum is rainy and miserable and there's not much for the Court Magician to do.
When Tanda (the hottie assassin chick) pops in looking for a shopping assistant, Aahz reluctantly agrees to let his student go with her. She lets Skeeve in on a secret: they're going to be looking for a birthday present for Aahz!
They visit several dimensions off the beaten path, looking for the Perfect Something Aahz could never have seen, ending up on Jahk, where Tanda spots a hideous Trophy. She tells Skeeve the rest of the secret: they're stealing the Trophy.
The caper ends with the Trophy missing, Tanda arrested for a theft she didn't commit, and Skeeve and Aahz putting together...a sports team?
Year: 1982
Genre: Fantasy/Comedy
Read again? Yes.
Skeeve and Aahz are bored. The weather in Possiltum is rainy and miserable and there's not much for the Court Magician to do.
When Tanda (the hottie assassin chick) pops in looking for a shopping assistant, Aahz reluctantly agrees to let his student go with her. She lets Skeeve in on a secret: they're going to be looking for a birthday present for Aahz!
They visit several dimensions off the beaten path, looking for the Perfect Something Aahz could never have seen, ending up on Jahk, where Tanda spots a hideous Trophy. She tells Skeeve the rest of the secret: they're stealing the Trophy.
The caper ends with the Trophy missing, Tanda arrested for a theft she didn't commit, and Skeeve and Aahz putting together...a sports team?
Myth #2: Myth Conceptions (Asprin, Robert)
Rating: 5
Year: 1980
Genre: Fantasy/Comedy
Read again? Yes.
Why, yes, every title will be a pun on "Myth!"
It's been about a year since Skeeve and his scaly demonic teacher defeated Isstvan (with a little help from some friends). Now they've been summoned to the Kingdom of Possiltum to try out for the position of Court Magician!
It's not until he wins the position that he learns the reason: Possiltum is about to be invaded by an enormous army. The Kingdom's own army is sitting it out because the guy who handles the king's money has bet that magick can defeat the mighty army, at a considerable savings in both lives and gold.
Now it's up to Skeeve and Aahz to defeat the largest army ever assembled! Can they do it with the help of a dragon, a hot assassin girl, an Imp, an elderly Archer, a stone gargoyle named Gus, and his buddy Berfert the Salamander?
Another short & sweet book, not too deep. I never paid much attention to this approach before, but I appreciate the relative minimalism of Asprin's style. Just the thing after four novels weighing in at 4,000 pages, with a cast of 1,100 characters!
Year: 1980
Genre: Fantasy/Comedy
Read again? Yes.
Why, yes, every title will be a pun on "Myth!"
It's been about a year since Skeeve and his scaly demonic teacher defeated Isstvan (with a little help from some friends). Now they've been summoned to the Kingdom of Possiltum to try out for the position of Court Magician!
It's not until he wins the position that he learns the reason: Possiltum is about to be invaded by an enormous army. The Kingdom's own army is sitting it out because the guy who handles the king's money has bet that magick can defeat the mighty army, at a considerable savings in both lives and gold.
Now it's up to Skeeve and Aahz to defeat the largest army ever assembled! Can they do it with the help of a dragon, a hot assassin girl, an Imp, an elderly Archer, a stone gargoyle named Gus, and his buddy Berfert the Salamander?
Another short & sweet book, not too deep. I never paid much attention to this approach before, but I appreciate the relative minimalism of Asprin's style. Just the thing after four novels weighing in at 4,000 pages, with a cast of 1,100 characters!
Myth #1: Another Fine Myth (Asprin, Robert)
Rating: 4
Year: 1978
Genre: Fantasy/Comedy
Read again? Yes.
Yeah, it's another series. I usually take a break from them once I've finished something like the 6-month slog through George R.R. Martin's "A Song of Ice and Fire." But Asprin's "Myth" books are at the opposite end of the spectrum from Martin's: the books average about 200 pages each!
Skeeve ia the apprentice to Garkin, who despairs of his student ever being a magician. Skeeve wants to be a thief and doesn't study as hard as he should.
Then Garkin is killed by an assassin sent by the mad magician Isstvan and Skeeve ends up apprenticed to Aahz, a scaly green pointy-eared pointy-toothed demon!
Can the two of them find Isstvan and stop him before he destroys the world?
Very light reading--both as far as the size of the book and in Asprin's writing. The plot is uncomplicated, with the characters sketched out enough to leave to the reader's imagination. I wish the gags were as funny now as they were 20 years ago, but it's still fun. Besides, I deserve a 2-day book! Rather than still meeting the main characters or just getting to the Big Crisis That Will Change Everything for the main character, we're looking at the inside back cover and ready to grab the next book.
Asprin's intent was to spoof the cerebrally serious Heroic Fantasy genre of the late 1970s. What he ended up doing was creating a genre of comic Fantasy, making way for Craig Shaw Gardner's "Ballad of Wuntvor" series and others.
Year: 1978
Genre: Fantasy/Comedy
Read again? Yes.
Yeah, it's another series. I usually take a break from them once I've finished something like the 6-month slog through George R.R. Martin's "A Song of Ice and Fire." But Asprin's "Myth" books are at the opposite end of the spectrum from Martin's: the books average about 200 pages each!
Skeeve ia the apprentice to Garkin, who despairs of his student ever being a magician. Skeeve wants to be a thief and doesn't study as hard as he should.
Then Garkin is killed by an assassin sent by the mad magician Isstvan and Skeeve ends up apprenticed to Aahz, a scaly green pointy-eared pointy-toothed demon!
Can the two of them find Isstvan and stop him before he destroys the world?
Very light reading--both as far as the size of the book and in Asprin's writing. The plot is uncomplicated, with the characters sketched out enough to leave to the reader's imagination. I wish the gags were as funny now as they were 20 years ago, but it's still fun. Besides, I deserve a 2-day book! Rather than still meeting the main characters or just getting to the Big Crisis That Will Change Everything for the main character, we're looking at the inside back cover and ready to grab the next book.
Asprin's intent was to spoof the cerebrally serious Heroic Fantasy genre of the late 1970s. What he ended up doing was creating a genre of comic Fantasy, making way for Craig Shaw Gardner's "Ballad of Wuntvor" series and others.
Sunday, November 8, 2009
Confederacy of Dunces, A (Toole, J K)
Rating: 4
Year: 1980
Genre: Satire/Farce/Comedy
Read Again? In a few years
This one's hard to write; it took nearly 2 weeks to read--and it's not that long a book. It doesn't drag, there's plenty of humor along the way, and Toole's writing is easy to get along with. He has a good feel for character, an ear for dialect in early 1960's New Orleans, and a solid grasp of what it takes to spin out various threads in a story, then tie them all up at the end without holding the reader's hand and explaining every single thing.
But I'm having trouble, here. Most of it is that I had my head full of Upton Sinclair's "The Jungle" audiobook. The rest is that the main character, Ignatius Reilly, is about as unlikable as one human being can be. He's a seriously odd duck. He's fat, with blue and yellow eyes (liver problems?), passes gas freely from both ends, and has a funk about him from various personal habits. He fills notebook after notebook with stuff like this:
The other sane one is Gus Levy, owner of the Levy Pants factory. He hates the company his overbearing father left him; his wife hates him for this, and is little more than a constantly-scheming ridicule machine bent on undermining Gus and alienating his daughters from him. It's his company Ignatius tries to free the workers from--so of course Mrs. Levy decides Ignatius must be some sort of heroic idealist.
Ignatius' mother grows the most in the story; in the beginning, Irene is Ignatius' doormat, hiding in a cheap-wine stupor. But she makes a friend who convinces her to stand up for herself.
It's a fun read, but not a challenging one. You're not going to get deep thoughts and learn arcane things, here.
Year: 1980
Genre: Satire/Farce/Comedy
Read Again? In a few years
This one's hard to write; it took nearly 2 weeks to read--and it's not that long a book. It doesn't drag, there's plenty of humor along the way, and Toole's writing is easy to get along with. He has a good feel for character, an ear for dialect in early 1960's New Orleans, and a solid grasp of what it takes to spin out various threads in a story, then tie them all up at the end without holding the reader's hand and explaining every single thing.
But I'm having trouble, here. Most of it is that I had my head full of Upton Sinclair's "The Jungle" audiobook. The rest is that the main character, Ignatius Reilly, is about as unlikable as one human being can be. He's a seriously odd duck. He's fat, with blue and yellow eyes (liver problems?), passes gas freely from both ends, and has a funk about him from various personal habits. He fills notebook after notebook with stuff like this:
- "With the breakdown of the Medieval system, the gods of Chaos, Lunacy, and Bad Taste gained ascendancy." Ignatius was writing in one of his Big Chief tablets. "After a period in which the western world had enjoyed order, tranquility, unity, and oneness with its True God and Trinity, there appeared winds of change which spelled evil days ahead. An ill wind blows no one good. The luminous years of Abelard, Thomas a Becket, and Everyman dimmed into dross; Fortuna's wheel had turned on humanity, crushing its collarbone, smashing its skull, twisting its torso, puncturing its pelvis, sorrowing its soul. Having once been so high, humanity fell so low. What had once been dedicated to the soul was now dedicated to the sale."
- "My nerves!" Ignatius said. He was slumped down in the seat so that just the top of his green hunting cap appeared in the window, looking like the tip of a promising watermelon. From the rear, where he always sat, having read somewhere that the seat next to the driver was the most dangerous, he watched his mother's wild and inexpert shifting with disapproval. "I suspect that you have effectively demolished the small car that someone innocently parked behind this bus. You had better succeed in getting out of this spot before its owner happens along."
The other sane one is Gus Levy, owner of the Levy Pants factory. He hates the company his overbearing father left him; his wife hates him for this, and is little more than a constantly-scheming ridicule machine bent on undermining Gus and alienating his daughters from him. It's his company Ignatius tries to free the workers from--so of course Mrs. Levy decides Ignatius must be some sort of heroic idealist.
Ignatius' mother grows the most in the story; in the beginning, Irene is Ignatius' doormat, hiding in a cheap-wine stupor. But she makes a friend who convinces her to stand up for herself.
It's a fun read, but not a challenging one. You're not going to get deep thoughts and learn arcane things, here.
Monday, October 26, 2009
On a Beam of Light (Brewer, Gene)
Rating: 4
Year: 2001
Genre: Comdey/Sci-Fi
Read again? In a few years
prot returns almost to the minute 5 years after his departure for his homeworld of K-PAX. It's August 17, 1995.
Dr. Brewer had concluded that prot was no alien, but rather an alternate personality created by Robert Porter to defend himself against traumatic situations--first, when his father died, then when he was molested by his "uncle," and most recently--in August of 1985--when his wife and daughter were murdered. When prot left at the end of "K-PAX," Robert became catatonic, curled up on a bed, unresponsive to any stimulus.
Now, prot/Robert has awakened, and prot announces that this time he's leaving for good--and he's willing to take 100 people with him! Brewer only has a few weeks to bring Robert closer to a cure. As he investigates Robert's background and gets more and more of his story from the man himself, Brewer finds that there are more than just Robert and prot living in there:
Robert--the innocent.
prot--the alien pal, calm, rational, highly intelligent.
Harry--the protector; he killed the man who killed Robert's family.
Paul--the lover; because of the molestation by his uncle, Robert is seriously messed-up where sex is concerned.
In the meantime, everyone wants to talk to prot--the CIA, biologists, astronomers, and people who want to go to K-PAX. Is he really just an alternate persona? If he is, what happened to the woman who left with him at the end of the last book? Why is there a slight difference in DNA in the blood samples taken from prot and Robert?
As with the first, a light and fun read.
Year: 2001
Genre: Comdey/Sci-Fi
Read again? In a few years
prot returns almost to the minute 5 years after his departure for his homeworld of K-PAX. It's August 17, 1995.
Dr. Brewer had concluded that prot was no alien, but rather an alternate personality created by Robert Porter to defend himself against traumatic situations--first, when his father died, then when he was molested by his "uncle," and most recently--in August of 1985--when his wife and daughter were murdered. When prot left at the end of "K-PAX," Robert became catatonic, curled up on a bed, unresponsive to any stimulus.
Now, prot/Robert has awakened, and prot announces that this time he's leaving for good--and he's willing to take 100 people with him! Brewer only has a few weeks to bring Robert closer to a cure. As he investigates Robert's background and gets more and more of his story from the man himself, Brewer finds that there are more than just Robert and prot living in there:
Robert--the innocent.
prot--the alien pal, calm, rational, highly intelligent.
Harry--the protector; he killed the man who killed Robert's family.
Paul--the lover; because of the molestation by his uncle, Robert is seriously messed-up where sex is concerned.
In the meantime, everyone wants to talk to prot--the CIA, biologists, astronomers, and people who want to go to K-PAX. Is he really just an alternate persona? If he is, what happened to the woman who left with him at the end of the last book? Why is there a slight difference in DNA in the blood samples taken from prot and Robert?
As with the first, a light and fun read.
Saturday, October 17, 2009
K-PAX (Brewer, Gene)
Rating: 4
Year: 1995
Genre: Sci-Fi/Comedy
Read Again? In another few years
Time for that Lackey-free zone again.
Gene Brewer--as Dr. Gene Brewer, a head mechanic--narrates his story of a pleasant-seeming man in his thirties who becomes a patient at the Manhattan Psychiatric Institute. He's known only as "prot" (rhymes with "goat") and claims to be from one of the stars in the Lyra constellation. His WORLD is K-PAX (prot has such disdain for humanity, he does not capitalize names--but his respect for stellar objects is such that he renders them all-caps).
prot was picked up by the New York Police Department after he was found standing over a mugging victim. Brewer schedules one session a week, on Wednesdays, and the book's chapters are numbered accordingly.
Brewer learns that prot and his fellow X-PAXians live in Utopian conditions: the weather is always pleasant; there is no crime; everyone provides for everyone else; a typical life is 1,000 years; there is no pollution, no one eats animals, and sex doesn't drive anyone to misbehave or harm others. When asked how his people travel the vast distances of interstellar space, prot smiles condescendingly and tells him it's done with mirrors.
By the 5th Session, Brewer learns that prot is leaving for K-PAX on August 17th, 1990 (less than 3 months away), at 3:31 a.m. precisely. This gives us a clock to watch: Will Brewer figure out what's happening in prot's head and find out who he really is?
"K-PAX" isn't a sci-fi story in the typical vein; we don't see any flashy technology or travel to other worlds--we just have prot's word that it's real, and all done with mirrors.
I like Brewer's style--spare, straightforward, conversational, like a friend over coffee instead of the author-as-performer. His humor isn't screamingly funny, but it's not forced like Lackey's sometimes feels. The story's engaging. It's not Great Literature--but it doesn't try to pretend that it is anything more.
Year: 1995
Genre: Sci-Fi/Comedy
Read Again? In another few years
Time for that Lackey-free zone again.
Gene Brewer--as Dr. Gene Brewer, a head mechanic--narrates his story of a pleasant-seeming man in his thirties who becomes a patient at the Manhattan Psychiatric Institute. He's known only as "prot" (rhymes with "goat") and claims to be from one of the stars in the Lyra constellation. His WORLD is K-PAX (prot has such disdain for humanity, he does not capitalize names--but his respect for stellar objects is such that he renders them all-caps).
prot was picked up by the New York Police Department after he was found standing over a mugging victim. Brewer schedules one session a week, on Wednesdays, and the book's chapters are numbered accordingly.
Brewer learns that prot and his fellow X-PAXians live in Utopian conditions: the weather is always pleasant; there is no crime; everyone provides for everyone else; a typical life is 1,000 years; there is no pollution, no one eats animals, and sex doesn't drive anyone to misbehave or harm others. When asked how his people travel the vast distances of interstellar space, prot smiles condescendingly and tells him it's done with mirrors.
By the 5th Session, Brewer learns that prot is leaving for K-PAX on August 17th, 1990 (less than 3 months away), at 3:31 a.m. precisely. This gives us a clock to watch: Will Brewer figure out what's happening in prot's head and find out who he really is?
"K-PAX" isn't a sci-fi story in the typical vein; we don't see any flashy technology or travel to other worlds--we just have prot's word that it's real, and all done with mirrors.
I like Brewer's style--spare, straightforward, conversational, like a friend over coffee instead of the author-as-performer. His humor isn't screamingly funny, but it's not forced like Lackey's sometimes feels. The story's engaging. It's not Great Literature--but it doesn't try to pretend that it is anything more.
Saturday, April 4, 2009
Back to the Future II (Gardner, Craig Shaw)
Rating: 3.5
Year: 1989
Genre: Sci-fi, comedy
Read again? Not even for a DeLorean.
Going into this one totally blind. I know I've read it once before, but I couldn't say when that was. More than a decade, less than two. I really just don't want to go back to Lackey Land, so I'm looking for some shorter books to fill in before I go diving back in.
Doc Brown grabs up Marty and his girlfriend Jennifer for a quick trip to 2015 to fix a problem with their kids. Of course things don't go as planned, and bad guy Biff Tannen manages to steal the DeLorean. He goes back 60 years to 1955 to give himself a gift that'll change the world: a sports almanac for 1950 to 2000. Biff gets filthy rich and ruins the future Marty just fixed! So now it's up to Marty & Doc to go back to 1955, get the almanac from Biff, and return things to the way they were. The ending is a cliffhanger--this and Part III were filmed back-to-back and released a year apart.
Gardner's take on the story isn't as smart or tight as Gipe's. If Gipe played Marty McFly as a junior McGyver, Gardner makes him as an idiot who learned nothing from his recent adventures. This could easily be the fault of the screenwriter (story by Robert Zemeckis & Bob Gale, screenplay by Gale), trying to go for goofball comedy. Unfortunately, this one's not as much fun as the original. Much of the 2015 arc of the story depends heavily on gags from "Back to the Future": the skateboard chase of 1955 becomes a hoverboard chase. Marty's son Marty is another George McFly, and Biff's gransdon Griff is the king bully who makes the kid's life miserable. The story feels like a cheap knockoff of the original. That's worth a point.
Gardner's style puts me in mind of an over-actor hamming it up for the audience. He had more fun in writing this book than I did in reading it. I do have to wonder, though, whether he has a spelling dictionary around, and how it would recommend the spelling for "gigawatt"...which Gardner consistently spells as "jigowatt" (but at least he's consistent). His own original stuff--the Ebenezum trilogy, the Wuntvor trilogy, and the Cineverse trilogy--are highly entertaining, and I don't really know what went wrong. Half a point.
I have no idea how this book compares to the movie; I saw it once years ago, but don't remember anything but Michael J. Fox in drag as Marty McFly's daughter in 2015.
Year: 1989
Genre: Sci-fi, comedy
Read again? Not even for a DeLorean.
Going into this one totally blind. I know I've read it once before, but I couldn't say when that was. More than a decade, less than two. I really just don't want to go back to Lackey Land, so I'm looking for some shorter books to fill in before I go diving back in.
Doc Brown grabs up Marty and his girlfriend Jennifer for a quick trip to 2015 to fix a problem with their kids. Of course things don't go as planned, and bad guy Biff Tannen manages to steal the DeLorean. He goes back 60 years to 1955 to give himself a gift that'll change the world: a sports almanac for 1950 to 2000. Biff gets filthy rich and ruins the future Marty just fixed! So now it's up to Marty & Doc to go back to 1955, get the almanac from Biff, and return things to the way they were. The ending is a cliffhanger--this and Part III were filmed back-to-back and released a year apart.
Gardner's take on the story isn't as smart or tight as Gipe's. If Gipe played Marty McFly as a junior McGyver, Gardner makes him as an idiot who learned nothing from his recent adventures. This could easily be the fault of the screenwriter (story by Robert Zemeckis & Bob Gale, screenplay by Gale), trying to go for goofball comedy. Unfortunately, this one's not as much fun as the original. Much of the 2015 arc of the story depends heavily on gags from "Back to the Future": the skateboard chase of 1955 becomes a hoverboard chase. Marty's son Marty is another George McFly, and Biff's gransdon Griff is the king bully who makes the kid's life miserable. The story feels like a cheap knockoff of the original. That's worth a point.
Gardner's style puts me in mind of an over-actor hamming it up for the audience. He had more fun in writing this book than I did in reading it. I do have to wonder, though, whether he has a spelling dictionary around, and how it would recommend the spelling for "gigawatt"...which Gardner consistently spells as "jigowatt" (but at least he's consistent). His own original stuff--the Ebenezum trilogy, the Wuntvor trilogy, and the Cineverse trilogy--are highly entertaining, and I don't really know what went wrong. Half a point.
I have no idea how this book compares to the movie; I saw it once years ago, but don't remember anything but Michael J. Fox in drag as Marty McFly's daughter in 2015.
Tuesday, March 24, 2009
Back to the Future (Gipe, George)
Rating: 4/5
Year: 1985
Genre: Sci-fi, comedy
Read again? In another 20 years...
Writing-up the DeLorean book put me in the mood to read this; finishing that thrice-damned "Brightly Burning" settled it. I'm all Mercedes Lackeyed out.
I think I've read BTTF only a few times (three, maybe four), and all back in the year or so after the movie. I remember not liking it, and that's probably because movie tie-in books never match their movies the way I used to expect them to. Sometimes it's tolerable (or at least bearable); other times it's something Alan Dean Foster butchered back in the '80s (three "Alien" movies, "The Thing," and more). The worst one I can think of off the top of my pointy head is "Ghostbusters," in which Richard Mueller sanitizes all the dirty words and most of the humor from the story.
It's 1985. Marty McFly is a 17-year-old kid who wants to be a rock star. Emmett "Doc" Brown is the resident kook about town.
Marty is summoned to the Twin Pines Mall early in the morning to witness an "important experiment." What he finds is Doc and a modified DeLorean, a time machine! Our boy ends up back in 1955. He ends up being a crush for his own mother (Lorraine), and it's up to him and a much younger Doc Brown to get Lorraine to fall for the proper guy--the massively unpopular and nerdy George McFly. The story is well-paced and follows the movie for the most part.
Gipe plays McFly as a freaking Marty MacGyver; the kid escapes detention by:
--grabbing the lens from a slide projector (conveniently unattached to the projector?)
--grabbing a rubber band and book of matches from his notebook pen-pouch (matches?!)
--getting a stick of gum and chewing it, then sticking it to the back of the matchbook
--using the rubber band to shoot the matchbook at the ceiling, next to a convenient smoke detector
(Gipe is careful to mention the school's sprinkler system a few pages back from this; of course McFly sticks it on the first try)
--focusing the afternoon sunlight through the stolen lens to light the matches (while his nemesis Principal Strickland is closing the blinds for no obvious reason), setting off the alarm and sprinklers, and making his escape!
This smells of Steven Spielberg's love of Rube Goldberg-like gimmicky stunts, and I wouldn't be surprised if this was actually in an earlier draft of the script. Back in 1985, this opening for the book pissed me off, both because the stunt wouldn't work and because it's nothing like the movie's opening. I was really picky about that stuff--to the point of hating the ghost-written "Star Wars" novelization (as I understand it, Alan Dean Foster ghosted the book for Luca$). Don't expect a writeup on that one anytime soon (or any other Foster book). Nowadays, I don't passionately hate this McGyver scene--but it and a few other sucky spots earned a point off (Gipe drags out the "I am Darth Vader, an extraterrestrial from the planet Vulcan" gag past the point of being funny).
Gipe's style isn't too bad; a big bonus is that he's not fussy in the least, and doesn't commit even the slightest Lackeyism. I'm willing to let certain plot-points and such go mostly because he's probably not the guy who came up with them (we can blame screenwriters Robert Zemeckis and Bob Gale, and maybe Spielberg). Gipe does have some strange ways of putting things--for example, Marty isn't in a rock band, he's in a "group." Some of his other word choices seem clumsy. Maybe not the best movie tie-in you'll ever read, but definitely not the worst. This book isn't literature; strictly lightweight reading, and just what I needed to help me get over the Lackey headache.
Year: 1985
Genre: Sci-fi, comedy
Read again? In another 20 years...
Writing-up the DeLorean book put me in the mood to read this; finishing that thrice-damned "Brightly Burning" settled it. I'm all Mercedes Lackeyed out.
I think I've read BTTF only a few times (three, maybe four), and all back in the year or so after the movie. I remember not liking it, and that's probably because movie tie-in books never match their movies the way I used to expect them to. Sometimes it's tolerable (or at least bearable); other times it's something Alan Dean Foster butchered back in the '80s (three "Alien" movies, "The Thing," and more). The worst one I can think of off the top of my pointy head is "Ghostbusters," in which Richard Mueller sanitizes all the dirty words and most of the humor from the story.
It's 1985. Marty McFly is a 17-year-old kid who wants to be a rock star. Emmett "Doc" Brown is the resident kook about town.
Marty is summoned to the Twin Pines Mall early in the morning to witness an "important experiment." What he finds is Doc and a modified DeLorean, a time machine! Our boy ends up back in 1955. He ends up being a crush for his own mother (Lorraine), and it's up to him and a much younger Doc Brown to get Lorraine to fall for the proper guy--the massively unpopular and nerdy George McFly. The story is well-paced and follows the movie for the most part.
Gipe plays McFly as a freaking Marty MacGyver; the kid escapes detention by:
--grabbing the lens from a slide projector (conveniently unattached to the projector?)
--grabbing a rubber band and book of matches from his notebook pen-pouch (matches?!)
--getting a stick of gum and chewing it, then sticking it to the back of the matchbook
--using the rubber band to shoot the matchbook at the ceiling, next to a convenient smoke detector
(Gipe is careful to mention the school's sprinkler system a few pages back from this; of course McFly sticks it on the first try)
--focusing the afternoon sunlight through the stolen lens to light the matches (while his nemesis Principal Strickland is closing the blinds for no obvious reason), setting off the alarm and sprinklers, and making his escape!
This smells of Steven Spielberg's love of Rube Goldberg-like gimmicky stunts, and I wouldn't be surprised if this was actually in an earlier draft of the script. Back in 1985, this opening for the book pissed me off, both because the stunt wouldn't work and because it's nothing like the movie's opening. I was really picky about that stuff--to the point of hating the ghost-written "Star Wars" novelization (as I understand it, Alan Dean Foster ghosted the book for Luca$). Don't expect a writeup on that one anytime soon (or any other Foster book). Nowadays, I don't passionately hate this McGyver scene--but it and a few other sucky spots earned a point off (Gipe drags out the "I am Darth Vader, an extraterrestrial from the planet Vulcan" gag past the point of being funny).
Gipe's style isn't too bad; a big bonus is that he's not fussy in the least, and doesn't commit even the slightest Lackeyism. I'm willing to let certain plot-points and such go mostly because he's probably not the guy who came up with them (we can blame screenwriters Robert Zemeckis and Bob Gale, and maybe Spielberg). Gipe does have some strange ways of putting things--for example, Marty isn't in a rock band, he's in a "group." Some of his other word choices seem clumsy. Maybe not the best movie tie-in you'll ever read, but definitely not the worst. This book isn't literature; strictly lightweight reading, and just what I needed to help me get over the Lackey headache.
Wednesday, February 11, 2009
Quickie: Ranma 1/2 (series, Takahashi, Rumiko)
Rating: 5/5
Year:
Genre: Martial Arts comedy
Read again? Hai!
I first got turned on to the animated ("Anime") version of this back in 1996. I'd say the Anime version is somewhat funnier, but both are driven by slapstick violence and physical gags.
There are some 36 volumes in the novels ("Manga"), each divided into nearly stand-alone "chapters." Think of them as episodes in a sit-com, where you don't really have to watch everything to understand a story in the middle. But it does help, especially with Takahashi's insane list of characters.
We're introduced to up-and-coming teen-aged martial arts master Ranma Saotome and his father Genma. They're scrambling through the streets somewhere in Japan, beating the hell out of each other. Well, actually, we meet a red-haired girl and a giant panda beating the hell out of each other.
Then we cut to the lovely home of Soun Tendo and his three teen daughters Kasumi (the domestic one), Nabiki (the schemer), and Akane (the martial-arts badass). Soun is excited, for today his old friend Genma Saotome and his son will return from a long trip to China, where they learned the secrets of Chinese martial arts--and today, Ranma will be given the chance to choose his wife from one of Soun's three daughters.
As he's explaining this to the girls, there's a loud racket at the door--the guests have arrived! Well, a red-haired girl and a giant panda have arrived!
Turns out that these are the very guests Tendo has been waiting for; Genma turns into a panda when he's hit with cold water. Ranma--macho, arrogant Ranma--turns into a red-haired hottie. Hot water turns them back. They fell into cursed pools somewhere in China.
Takahashi has an excellent hand--I really like her drawing style. Granted, the stories and situations are aimed more at the teen and twentysomething market, and many of the stories are romantic comedies, but Takakashi's also taking a swipe at martial arts as a whole, because just about everyone is a martial artist in these books. You've got martial arts figure skating. Martial arts pizza-making. Martial arts gymnastics. Martial-arts hair care products. Martial arts cheerleading.
Then there's the cast of characters; in addition to those mentioned already, some of the most memorable are:
Happosai, a martial arts master and panty thief.
Ryoga, the guy with no sense of direction, and who turns into a potbellied piglet.
Shampoo, the Chinese girl who must marry Ranma or kill him. Turns into a cat.
Tatewaki Kunou, the guy who wants Akane and girl Ranma--and wants to kill boy Ranma.
Kodachi Kunou, the girl who wants boy Ranma--and wants to kill girl Ranma.
Ukyo, one of three Ranma fiancees, who can kick your ass with a spatula!
The interactions of these seemingly insane people are what drive the story and make me willing to pop for ten bucks per book.
Year:
Genre: Martial Arts comedy
Read again? Hai!
I first got turned on to the animated ("Anime") version of this back in 1996. I'd say the Anime version is somewhat funnier, but both are driven by slapstick violence and physical gags.
There are some 36 volumes in the novels ("Manga"), each divided into nearly stand-alone "chapters." Think of them as episodes in a sit-com, where you don't really have to watch everything to understand a story in the middle. But it does help, especially with Takahashi's insane list of characters.
We're introduced to up-and-coming teen-aged martial arts master Ranma Saotome and his father Genma. They're scrambling through the streets somewhere in Japan, beating the hell out of each other. Well, actually, we meet a red-haired girl and a giant panda beating the hell out of each other.
Then we cut to the lovely home of Soun Tendo and his three teen daughters Kasumi (the domestic one), Nabiki (the schemer), and Akane (the martial-arts badass). Soun is excited, for today his old friend Genma Saotome and his son will return from a long trip to China, where they learned the secrets of Chinese martial arts--and today, Ranma will be given the chance to choose his wife from one of Soun's three daughters.
As he's explaining this to the girls, there's a loud racket at the door--the guests have arrived! Well, a red-haired girl and a giant panda have arrived!
Turns out that these are the very guests Tendo has been waiting for; Genma turns into a panda when he's hit with cold water. Ranma--macho, arrogant Ranma--turns into a red-haired hottie. Hot water turns them back. They fell into cursed pools somewhere in China.
Takahashi has an excellent hand--I really like her drawing style. Granted, the stories and situations are aimed more at the teen and twentysomething market, and many of the stories are romantic comedies, but Takakashi's also taking a swipe at martial arts as a whole, because just about everyone is a martial artist in these books. You've got martial arts figure skating. Martial arts pizza-making. Martial arts gymnastics. Martial-arts hair care products. Martial arts cheerleading.
Then there's the cast of characters; in addition to those mentioned already, some of the most memorable are:
Happosai, a martial arts master and panty thief.
Ryoga, the guy with no sense of direction, and who turns into a potbellied piglet.
Shampoo, the Chinese girl who must marry Ranma or kill him. Turns into a cat.
Tatewaki Kunou, the guy who wants Akane and girl Ranma--and wants to kill boy Ranma.
Kodachi Kunou, the girl who wants boy Ranma--and wants to kill girl Ranma.
Ukyo, one of three Ranma fiancees, who can kick your ass with a spatula!
The interactions of these seemingly insane people are what drive the story and make me willing to pop for ten bucks per book.
Monday, January 19, 2009
M*A*S*H (Hooker, Richard)
Rating: 4/5
Year: 1968
Genre: Comedy
Read again? Eventually
Welcome to the Double Natural, the 4077th M*A*S*H (Mobile Army Surgical Hospital), right on the 38th Parallel in Vietna--er Korea. C'mon, folks, we all know it's really about Vietnam, though Hooker's take isn't an anti-war or social commentary so much as a set of days in the life. The characters are all here--Captains Hawkeye Pierce and Trapper John, Colonel Henry Blake, Hotlips Houlihan, Radar O'Reilly, Frank Burns, Father Mulcahy. For the most part, they're the same folks we remember from the TV series, though Burns is only a bit player who lasts a few chapters. The biggest difference is in Radar, who is a lot more savvy than the childishly innocent Iowa farmboy of the show. No transvestite trying for a Section 8--but I'm guessing Klinger was added by the TV people to play to the British demographic, given the success of Monty Python drag gags.
It's hard to imagine someone not knowing about M*A*S*H, since it was such a major part of American pop culture in the '70s and '80s. Captains Benjamin Franklin "Hawkeye" Pierce and Augustus Bedford "Duke" Forrest are Army surgeons doing time in Korea, 1951. They're transferred to the 4077th, on the line between North and South Korea. In short order they prove to be the best surgeons in camp, get rid of a pair of self-righteous pricks (one holy roller and Frank Burns), scandalize Margaret "Hotlips" Houlihan, save a congressman's son, play some golf, go mermaid hunting, and form up a football team. They pick up a pair of conspirators in "Trapper" John McIntyre and Oliver Wendell "Spearchucker" Jones (yeah, he's black).
This being the Army, almost everyone has a descriptive nickname:
Radar can hear a chopper coming miles away, and can listen in on conversations.
Hotlips is supposedly hot--hopefully hotter than Loretta Switt.
Hawkeye? "The only book my father ever read was 'The Last of the Mohicans.' "
Duke: Don't know.
Trapper? A woman claimed he 'trapped' her when they were caught rutting in a women's restroom.
Spearchucker used to throw javelin.
Father Mulcahy: "Dago Red"--he's got red hair, and he's Catholic.
Knocko, a nurse who'll kick your ass.
Ugly John, the best-looking man in the camp.
The Painless Pole: Because a dentist needs a cool name.
This book reads like a string of TV episodes or sketches. The chapters are joined together by the characters and setting, but there's no real sense of time going by, but that's not really an issue. Hooker's style is loose and free, entertaining, a little over the top. It's a goofball comedy with nothing deep or complicated, but it drags in places. One point off.
The book is short, and so's this review.
Year: 1968
Genre: Comedy
Read again? Eventually
Welcome to the Double Natural, the 4077th M*A*S*H (Mobile Army Surgical Hospital), right on the 38th Parallel in Vietna--er Korea. C'mon, folks, we all know it's really about Vietnam, though Hooker's take isn't an anti-war or social commentary so much as a set of days in the life. The characters are all here--Captains Hawkeye Pierce and Trapper John, Colonel Henry Blake, Hotlips Houlihan, Radar O'Reilly, Frank Burns, Father Mulcahy. For the most part, they're the same folks we remember from the TV series, though Burns is only a bit player who lasts a few chapters. The biggest difference is in Radar, who is a lot more savvy than the childishly innocent Iowa farmboy of the show. No transvestite trying for a Section 8--but I'm guessing Klinger was added by the TV people to play to the British demographic, given the success of Monty Python drag gags.
It's hard to imagine someone not knowing about M*A*S*H, since it was such a major part of American pop culture in the '70s and '80s. Captains Benjamin Franklin "Hawkeye" Pierce and Augustus Bedford "Duke" Forrest are Army surgeons doing time in Korea, 1951. They're transferred to the 4077th, on the line between North and South Korea. In short order they prove to be the best surgeons in camp, get rid of a pair of self-righteous pricks (one holy roller and Frank Burns), scandalize Margaret "Hotlips" Houlihan, save a congressman's son, play some golf, go mermaid hunting, and form up a football team. They pick up a pair of conspirators in "Trapper" John McIntyre and Oliver Wendell "Spearchucker" Jones (yeah, he's black).
This being the Army, almost everyone has a descriptive nickname:
Radar can hear a chopper coming miles away, and can listen in on conversations.
Hotlips is supposedly hot--hopefully hotter than Loretta Switt.
Hawkeye? "The only book my father ever read was 'The Last of the Mohicans.' "
Duke: Don't know.
Trapper? A woman claimed he 'trapped' her when they were caught rutting in a women's restroom.
Spearchucker used to throw javelin.
Father Mulcahy: "Dago Red"--he's got red hair, and he's Catholic.
Knocko, a nurse who'll kick your ass.
Ugly John, the best-looking man in the camp.
The Painless Pole: Because a dentist needs a cool name.
This book reads like a string of TV episodes or sketches. The chapters are joined together by the characters and setting, but there's no real sense of time going by, but that's not really an issue. Hooker's style is loose and free, entertaining, a little over the top. It's a goofball comedy with nothing deep or complicated, but it drags in places. One point off.
The book is short, and so's this review.
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